The food isn’t up to standard?

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

The kids were already in their car seats. I didn’t know how to drive,  but I had the kids ready so we could leave the moment he arrives.  It was getting late.

I was in a concert at church and we had been rehearsing for weeks. I was very excited to be singing and didn’t want to disappoint.

I phoned him many times that day.  Pleasantly reminding him that he really needs to be home in time tonight. I felt too scared to say  “Please be sober”, but I prayed it.

I looked at him. Passed out on the bed after yet another Friday night of binge drinking. I had asked so nicely.

I felt the bile rise in my throat. The disappointment paralysed me. I just stood there. No concert for me. Only explanations I loathed to give. The sadness sat deeply uncomfortable within me. He does not deserve my tears.

After awhile you don’t fight.  You don’t cry.  You breathe.  You exist. You long for Monday to go to work to get away. You die. Piece by piece. Don’t confuse this behavior with acceptance. Coping. That is all. Time makes it easier, but it heals nothing.

I thought to myself that I cannot let my children believe destruction is what marriage is about. This is not how I grew up. This is not how my story ends.

My overwhelming desire was much more disturbing. “I could totally take you out.  I could kill you and feel nothing.” I would even phone the police.  I had no intention of running.

That is the game changer. I didn’t.

I stood in that doorway for a long time,  then I turned around and took my sleeping children out of their car seats. I carried them to their beds. I remember being so thankful that they remained asleep.

I sat in the lounge all night weighing up my options. My income was tiny,  my kids were so small,  I’m so young – how do I get out? Acknowledging all the difficulties to follow, I filed for divorce. I removed my children from an unhealthy environment and I left.

Christopher Panayiotou didn’t. I don’t know why he didn’t want to be in that marriage anymore. It doesn’t really matter.

He settled for premeditated murder. Abduction. Fear. Begging. Theft. Disbelief. I wonder what the young woman in those beautiful pictures were thinking as her life ended?

I hoped she was spared the realisation that the person she vowed to spend her life with, was indeed the mastermind of her death.
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Another element that angers me is that this specimens (You cannot call him a man,  a husband or anything remotely human) used the racial devide and tension in our country to help fuel the racist fire.

He successful got the public vote,  doting on his dead wife. Shouting in one voice against the “black barbarians”,  the senseless murder of another white woman.

People were asking for the death penalty…. and he amongst them I suspect. Bet he feels a bit more lenient towards himself now.

Christopher Panayiotou has been arrested,  charged and is asking for bail because life in prison isn’t all that grand and to quote his attorney : ” The food isn’t up to standard.”

With my biggest,  blackest accent, that only South Africans may get “Serious!”

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

Love is timeless.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

When my children were little, I use to go to the movies every Tuesday morning. There has always been something magical about escaping to the cinema. The smell of popcorn and icy green slush aside, I just loved becoming invisible and lose myself into the great, big screen in front of me. It has always been a place of magic…. besides that is was an adult space for me on a Tuesday morning. No crying children demanding attention, or food, or beating each other with swords!

Add a decade or so to that exhausted young Mom and you will see an older Wenchy, visiting Cine Prestige on Mother’s Day with her daughter at her side. Cine Prestige is the grown up version of my escape with the luxury of cake, cappuccino and chocolate… with the popcorn and green slush if you like, but with all the thrill that the big screen brings. I was invited to attend a Mother’s Day event to see The Age Of Adaline and it was the perfect end to celebrate being a Mom Day.

After miraculously remaining 29 years old for almost eight decades, Adaline Bowman has lived a solitary existence, never allowing herself to get close to anyone who might reveal her secret. But a chance encounter with charismatic philanthropist Ellis Jones reignites her passion for life and romance. When a weekend with his parents threatens to uncover the truth, Adaline makes a decision that will change her life forever.

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Adaline Bowman: Tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go.

Ellis Jones: Let go.

Directed by Lee Toland KriegerThe age of Adaline is a touching and beautiful romantic, drama and a most believable fable.  Blake Lively is a most convincing young woman and you do believe in her sophistication of having experienced many more years.  I found her love affair with Michiel Huisman slightly sad, as in my heart, I wanted Adaline to end up with another love, the talented Harrison Ford … a love that belonged to another lifetime. Perhaps that made the story that much more intimate for those who believe love is timeless.

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My teenage daughter, Victoria and I left suitable warm and fuzzy as one should, especially on Mother’s Day. I highly recommend The age of Adaline for everyone who wishes to escape and dream for a little while. It’s soul food.

I have received many goodie bags as a blogger and as a Social Media Diva (Do like my page please – #shameless gasp!) but I must give huge credit to whomever suggested “Goodi Box” for this event at Ster-Kinekor at The Zone in Rosebank. I am hugely impressed with the gorgeous goodies we received. Suitable, high quality and I felt absolutely spoiled. Thank you so very much. I do hope to receive many more of these “Goodi boxes”!!

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Thank you sincerely for the invitation Ster-Kinekor. Cine Prestige was perfect. You made my day!!

I wish you enough,

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The ultimate freedom.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

We want to be liked. We want to be love, and be loved. We want to be included. We want to be needed. We want to be accepted as we are. We want to be pinned to a wall and kissed until we are breathless. Okay, maybe that last one was just me.

Very often we say “Yes”, when we actually want to say scream “No”.  We do not want to be rude,  perhaps inconsiderate or offend. We dont want to miss out, so we say “Yes” to a task, a favour, an event …. when we wanted to say “No”.

Sometimes we end up having a great time! We may learn something new or meet amazing people. You never know …. You could also end up resenting being on the roster for the school cake sale again with the nosy mom who is always fishing for information.  True story.

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I read a long time ago that declining an invitation without an explanation is the ultimate freedom. I yearned to do just that without feeling guilty or have all the reasons above as to why we say “Yes!” just tumbling in my head.

There is nothing wrong with saying “Thank you, but not tonight Josephine.” or something to that effect – right?

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

It’s a shock!

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I visited Ultimate Hair today for our regular colour adventure. I love Judy and we have a great time during my visits.  Lots of laughter,  chatting and discussion.

I have been thinking about playing around with my hair colour a bit (more) and Judy is always up for the craziness I come up with. I’ve been colouring my hair since I was 14. I’ve been every shade of red, black and violet… I once had some blonde streaks but I’ve never gone lighter.  Maybe today?

My family is all rather dark of complexion.  Brown eyes and darker shades of brown and black hair.  My Oupa Mike use to say blonde hair and people with a light complexion looks washed out to him, not much substance. I wonder if someone of that description had let him down,  or if dark hair was just his preference… (like my husband)?

The Ambre look is currently very hot.  I have seen it done looking spectacular, but also shockingly… So in my adventure leading up to my visit,  Pinterest and I became very close!

One look that I entertained was going grey, also trendy right now… My regrowth is 100% grey and maintenance on dark hair can be taxing. So, I was thinking “Oh Shirley!” Shall I embrace thy grey? I’ve been loving the dark with the purple mixed in, but again the contrast of the regrowth is irritating. My hair grows fast, so every two weeks, we back to grey.

Judy listened to all my ideas and pictures. We agreed that bleaching my hair excessively in one sitting, as you need almost white hair for the grey to take properly, would not be sexy as the condition of my hair would be severely compromised. As we are in a long-term relationship, we decided on a plan of action.

Judy did a bleach bath on my hair to strip the colour. This sounds much sexier than it is. Where the hair was previously bleached for the purple bits, the bleach removed the colour. Where my hair was predominantly a dark colour, it naturally went orange as expected, leaving me a delightful Strawberry Blonde!

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To lighten your hair the tint or bleach has to either remove (bleach) or cover (tint) those pigments which are darker than the target shade. Black is the first pigment to be removed or covered, assuming it is present in the hair, then brown, red and yellow in that order. If your hair has come out orange then not all of the red pigment has been removed or colored.

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From the lack of positive responses on Twitter and Facebook, I can tell you that nobody loved me as a Strawberry Blonde. Don’t worry neither did I. I posted the pictures and left it at that. We had a good chuckle as to the lack of responses from my usual busy social media platforms!

I messaged my husband a picture who said he is not coming home and is taking up residence in his car as he does not want a #instaginger wife. (My husband likes my hair dark, short also works for him.) My son Liam James said to please shave my head. I did have a good giggle.

As the future vision is grey purple, no more tint was applied, but instead a purple strainer which naturally fades to grey. I’ve noticed over the past few months that the fade starts from the bottom so hey, I’ll be rocking the Ambre look by default.

A rich treatment was applied to assist in repairing the damage which follows when bleaching hair. I sat under the dryer, like an old lady. Haven’t done that dryer thing in forever. Btw, the old ladies who speak really loud when they sit under there are not necessarily deaf. You seriously can’t hear very well from there!

Finally, the purple strainer was washed off, hair blow dried and I left rocking the purple! It is going to take some time to get all the red pigment out, have the grey grow out more gracefully and stained with the purple… have no fear, while embracing the grey with a side kick of awesome!!

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Thank you Judy for a job well done with #purplelove. @SirNoid it is safe to return home and Liam James I won’t be shaving my head. Mammie you can breathe now! :)

I wish you enough colour to keep you shocking in the face of beauty!

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PS. I used the exact same setting on Retrica for the #instatginger and the #purplelove pictures.

The People’s Princess of Cambridge #RoyalBaby

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

When I was a little girl, I was obsessed with Princess Diana. I was very upset that I had to go to school while the woman in my family gathered to watch the royal wedding and that my Mammie refused for me to cut my hair like a Princess!

My Mammie bought me heavy, hard cover picture books of the Princess in beautiful clothes (which I still have) that I would browse all the time. I never tired of seeing her. A Princess. Magic!

I had a framed picture of the Princess wearing a crown and a yellow dress. I looked at this picture every night before I went to sleep. She was my first Hello and my last Goodnight.

I Googled and found the picture. :)
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I was 24 years old when she died.  I woke up in total disbelief watching Sky News and cried like I had known her all my life …. watching her funeral on TV, I was inconsolable.

My father died when I was 11. Seeing Prince William and Prince Harry walking behind her coffin was heartbreaking. Remember the card that read “Mommy”? It was terribly sad and I thought her boys were so brave.

Today Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to her second child, a baby girl… Princess Diana’s grand daughter. Such excitement! Such joy! It may be silly and boring to some,  but believing in a little bit of a fairytale can go a long way! I hope her names include Victoria and Diana….  :)

Welcome to the world…. Your Royal Highness, Princess of Cambridge!

I wish you,  enough.

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Wenchy

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

My thoughts on Phobias and the genocide taking place in South Africa

Wenchy:

An absolutely thought provoking and emotive blog. A must read.

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Originally posted on couragecouer:

xenophobia

Growing up in South Africa, I was always reminded by those around me that I was different to everyone else. In primary school, I had a much darker complexion than I do now, and super white teeth – the telling marks of a foreigner that betray you even when you put on your best English accent. It is just too obvious.

My name is Lovelyn Chidinma Nwadeyi. I am a Nigerian. Born in Nigeria to two Nigerian parents. Raised in Queenstown, Eastern Cape by those same Nigerian parents right up until I completed my Bachelors at Stellenbosch. I bear citizenship of both worlds. I speak fluent Xhosa, Igbo, Afrikaans and English. I can make sense of Tswana and Sotho. I enjoy a good braai, I love vetkoeks, especially the bunny-chow, I can’t get enough of Bokomo WeetBix, I love Ouma’s rusks and I can pull off my panstulas with…

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I went to the woods.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

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Yesterday I stood at the Union  Building in Pretoria amongst many people gathered in our 67 Blankets Guinness World Record attempt.  I was blessed to be near the front and looked up at Tata Madiba’s statue.

The noise of the crowd filtered away and all I comprehended was standing in the shadow of this man I so admired. More than liberation,  this man chose to live a life of forgiveness,  tolerance and understanding.

Last night I attended a vigil at Constitutional Hill near Hillbrow in remembrance of the horrific state our land is in.  As Africa danced and sang as we do in times of abundant sadness or joy, I was reminded of our vibrance and resilience. I left encouraged.

This morning I find myself unexpectedly at Hyde Park shopping centre as I had to return a faulty appliance.  With every fibre of my soul I crave silence.  Tranquillity.  In my urban jungle I found myself heading for the forest.  A place of peace.  Silence.  Escape. I sat on the floor between the books and breathed deeply before heading back into the noise of life.

Where do you escape to?

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.