Anxiety – @SADAG

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

Some say (flashback: The Stig) one does not admit to these subjects in public. What if your clients suddenly believe you are incompetent? What if people think less of you? If that is so,  it is their ignorance and not my inability to be real.

Anyone who regularly reads my blog knows that I deal with excessive anxiety on a daily basis. It never goes away.  It dulls at times,  but it never truly leaves.

I’ve been on and off meds since I was 14 when diagnosed. Nothing you can tell me about the condition,  it’s treatment or the influence it has on your daily life.

I am really battling at the moment.  I wake up with my skin crawling and I go to bed feeling like my breathing is constricted. 

Nothing has to happen for this feeling to be heightened. It is not based on events.  It is almost my default emotion.  It isn’t fun.  It doesn’t make me unique or special or dysfunctional.  It simply is. 

Everything I have achieved in my life was with this feeling present.  Every failure in my life happened with this emotion present. 

I don’t really know a different base line. Medication takes the edge off (for which we are truly thankful), talking helps,  accepting yourself as you are,  all helps.

In myself, I am really happy.  My husband loves me,  my kids are good,  I am well provided for,  I am steadily decreasing the size of my ass…. I enjoy what I do. 2014 was an awesome year.  2015 shows amazing promise.

Perhaps today,  as people start going back to work and life resumes as normal with schools returning etc,  I want to encourage others not to always believe what you think,  to ask for help if you need it and to be true to yourself.

Your self worth is not determined by others opinion of you.

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

Saturday Six cc @FATC_SA

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

1.  I detest the heat. I absolutely hate it. I am 100% a winter person. That I adore Sunny South Africa proves that God has a great sense of funny.

2.  It is our 7th anniversary on the 16th. Wondering if @SirNoid will remember? Ooohhhh we all know my 7 year “curse” … I think it may have been broken.

3.  Am loving my new hair colour done by Judy from Ultimate Hair! It is a small salon, plenty one on one attention and located very close to Cresta Shopping Centre. Very reasonable prices and proper specials. What I love about Judy is that she takes her time, she does a proper consultation …and then makes sure the style and colour is a work of art. The colour makes me feel very much me! My husband smiles and shakes his head lots at my madness.  :) Judy does regular give-aways on her Facebook page so it would be a good one to LIKE.

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4.  Ever looked at The Forgotten Angle Theatre Collaboration and what they get up to? The real deal, grass root with creative substance public arts festival.  They have a #fatcflash campaign coming up during the first week in February.  Follow them on Twitter @FATC_SA and on Facebook.

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5.  I picked up a very unwelcome 3kg during the buffet style eating at Sparkling Waters Hotel & Spa … then the fresh Cape Town fish…finishing with my sister-in-law, Jenni’s carrot cake in Swellendam during December. Happy to report I lost 1kg this week. Yay!

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6.  Our Cayte loves to check out the neighbourhood and was missing for 3 weeks.  I was thinking of how to tell the kids that my favourite cat has left us to chase Parktown prawns in the big meadow in the sky when she came wandering in here… starving but otherwise well, 3 nights ago.  I was very happy to see her!!

I wish you enough weekend to feel relaxed.

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2014 – Year End Quiz – @RichSimmondsZA pls RT

Dear friends and other interesting creatures –

As my December tan is busy peeling off, so the days of the new year is racing forward ….

I put this quiz together in 2008… so if you complete it, link back to me please? I would love to read about your year. :)

My answers for the past few years to the quiz can be found here:

2013 – Year End Quiz Answers

2012 – Year End Quiz Answers

2011 – Year End Quiz Answers

2010 – Year End Quiz Answers

2009 – Year End Quiz Answers

2008 – Year End Quiz Answers

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The 2014 edition:

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

  • New Year started with me in the bath at my Mom’s house. Never done that before.
  • I stayed with my husband’s 2nd x wife for a number of days. Jenny treated me very well and I appreciated her kindness during a difficult time.
  • I visited a divorce attorney, and did not proceed with the divorce. The serial bride found someone who won’t give up on her.
  • My niece and god-child, Tayla-Jade and I ran through sprayers. A memory we both cherish. It was a real year of growth for our relationship Yay!
  • Assisted with editing a book with Rich Simmonds. Thanks for many things.
  • Quite by accident I won an evening stay at Budmarsh Private Lodge (the most amazing chef, Chris) and new friendship were formed. It is now my favourite weekend getaway.
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  • My eldest biological son Kev and I visited Kievitskroon the week he turned 21. It was a really special stay with one on one time with my grown up boy. Watching him eat caviar for the first time. I played chess with those giant pieces with my son Kev. In the end I declared that I am staging a take over. Can’t believe I grew such a fabulous man.
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  • I attended gay pride in Pretoria for the first time and literally walked my talk with my daughter @VictoriaT99 at my side. When I say I am pro gay rights, religious freedom and the right to choose what happens to your body. I mean it.
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  • I rung the big brass bell at The Market Theatre!
  • Loving Theatre as I do, I have always wanted to attend the Naledi Awards and in 2014 I was invited. Thrilled! I cried for much of it LOL.
  • I ate in former, @MasterChef_SA winner, @deenamcsa restaurant Aarya at Montecasino and had Chef Bennie rate my pizza.
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  • Flew on my own to Cape Town, hired a car and worked/played for ten days while staying at Reading House. I had an awesome time visiting movies, restaurants and tourist attractions alone. It was a great time for reflection for me and getting paid for what I love is a massive blessing.
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  • I visited Khayelitsha for the first time, with thanks to City Sightseeing.
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  • Visited Mjejane in the Kruger Park with my parents. It was amazing to take my parents somewhere fabulous!
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  • Went down the tube slide at Valley of the Waves at Sun City. I am not a fan of such things but I think @SirNoid was proud of me. Yes, Douglas has hit the teenage phase of not wanting his picture taken. It seems all boys do that.
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  • I have done a photo workshop before, but never a photo tour. Thank you to Cape Photo Tours, @SirNoid and I enjoyed it tremendously. Learned lots and it ignited my love for photography once more! It did involve walking all the way up to the light house at Cape Point which I have never done before either… as well as visit Chapmans Peak which I had never visited before either!!
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  • Arriving with a fear of heights, @SirNoid and I did the Cape Canopy Tour – 13 platforms and slides up to 320m long way up in the air! Something I never would have entertained 30+kg ago! Would love to do it again.
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  • I test drove the @FordSouthAfrica #FiestaST for a week. Such fun and a truly fantastic car.
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I met incredible people in 2014, from a fast variety of platforms. From people living in squatter camps and destitute to celebrities including beauty queens, drag queens, sports starts, TV stars, fashion icons, music and theater performers. I’m blessed beyond anything I could have imagined.

I attended a massive amounts of diverse events, learned a great deal and were spoiled rotten. It is unreal the amount of love I received in 2014 from social media. Massive amounts of gratitude – don’t stop now !!

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

For 2014, I had the following resolution:

To live authentically. To thy own self be true.

For once, I actually feel I did achieve my resolution.


For 2015 I have the following resolutions:

declutter

[dee-kluht-er] 
1. to remove mess, unnecessary items or clutter from (a place).

2. to organize and prioritize (one’s commitments, material possessions, relationships etc.)

Declutter my time, home, thoughts and relationships.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Our nephew, Benjamin was born to Darryl and Sera on 4 May 2014. I absolutely adore the little guy.

When @SirNoid and I play with Benji, I wonder what it would have been like to have had a child of our own… then he cries or needs his nappy changed…and I immediately recover and go back to Twitter or reading a good book.

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4. Did anyone close to you die?

One of my first Internet, turned real life friends of almost two decades, Belinda Norman died. Two decades ago, we did the Bee-Bar and Wenchy show on ###SouthAfricaChat…. *sigh* as well as my childhood friend, Vicky’s mom, Mom Alta died late December 2014.

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Both deaths upset me greatly for very different reasons.

5. Which countries did you visit?

South Africa …. and far off places in my head.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

  • ‘Zen’ – (Mother Mary you know what I mean!)
  • Placing greater value on my abilities and time.

7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory?

Nothing comes to mind.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Changing the way I see food, the way and what I eat – and in the process losing weight.

9. What was your biggest failure?

  • Not thinking before I speak.
  • Forgetting silence is also an answer.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

While chronic illnesses is just that, chronic, I had a good 2014.

I’ve been able to go off a bundle of medication as my results are now all within normal range since I started #banting. All except iron which is at an all time low. Doctors have not been able to find out why my body does not hold onto it.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Silicone baking stuff. I know right? That doesn’t sound like me at all!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My husband, @SirNoid – overall resulting in 2014 being one of our happiest years to date.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

I confused friendship with dementia, resulting in a very unpleasant situation. I will not be inviting anyone into our home to stay again.

14. Where did most of your money go?

@SirNoid is the one who earns the money and it goes to living expenses.

I’ve been able to provide a very busy social life with many advantages and great experiences. Often allowing us and our children events and experiences we couldn’t otherwise afford.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My sister in law, Jenni getting engaged to Johan. She is my favourite Kruger and deserves someone who will love her for the brilliance she is. Johan is also a great catch – basically I came home and told @SirNoid, he is Jenni in man form. He is THE ONE. The kindest soul.

Any man who goes to the pharmacy for a girl he met once at 10pm, drives out of his way, because he is the only person she knows in town and buys meds, including tampons… that’s a keeper! 

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16. What song/album will always remind you of 2014?

Scarborough Fair

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? I am very happy.

Thinner or fatter? Thinner.

Richer or poorer? Richer in spirit. Financially, not so much.

18. What do you wish you had done more of in 2014?

  • Said “NO”.
  • Read.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

  • Procrastinate.
  • Over commit myself, creating avoidable anxiety.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

A very lazy day with @SirNoid at home with my two youngest (step) children, Douglas and Jenna-Lee. We had a braai late afternoon and an amazing thunder storm straight after. Awesome!

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

Social media related contacts and clients. I still detest speaking on the phone and prefer to communicate via email, whatsapp or smoke signal. My voice mail clearly says not to leave a message.

22. Did you fall in love in 2014?

A big YES.

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23. How many one night stands in this last year?

All with @SirNoid.

24. What was your favourite TV program?

  • Homeland.
  • The Black List.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I detest actions or behavior, not people.

26. What was the best book you read?

I did not read near enough and didn’t keep my Goodreads up to date…. how sad is it that I can’t give a title?

27. What was the best theatre production you saw?

Alison!! The Sound of Music, Liefling, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Mixed Tape – phenomenal productions this past year.

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28. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Mary Lambert – Secrets being my favourite.

29. What did you want and get?

A happy, solid, hard working, committed, sexy and loving husband….. and an ice cream maker. Ha ha ha!

30. What did you want and not get?

Maybe that is a joke amongst freelancers?

31. What were your favourite films of this year?

“Begin Again” Loved that!

32. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 41. Had a pizza party. Had an awesome birthday.

33. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I hadn’t underestimated myself so much.

34. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

For once I actually had some fashion ideas, especially after attending SA Fashion Week.

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35. What kept you sane?

Dreaming. Believing.

36. Which celebrity/public figure made an impact on you?

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The fashion due, Alan Foley & Krishen Samuel – @AlanKrishen. Because of their reputation, fashion icons baby, I was quite intimidated meeting them. The moment we were introduced I found two true gentleman. Classy. Full of humour. Intelligent. Genuine. No pretense. Hearts of gold.

37. What political issue stirred you the most?

Zuma…. Asking for the second coming. Seriously dude?

38. Who did you miss?

I always miss the kids, sometimes more and sometimes less! I’m a human mom dammit.

39. Who was the best new persons you met?

Two people truly stood out for me.

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Zavion Kotze. @Survivor_SA contestant, wedding planner and general gem. Read my interview with him and you will understand why I like him so much.

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Albert whom I met at Reading House. While he is old enough to be my son, he showed me great kindness, an awesome sense of funny and a tremendous dedication to his craft. I arrived a stranger, but left a friend.

40. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014 and how it made your life better.

  • People may leave, not because of who you are, but because of who they are.
  • I learned it can be very liberating when you realise you are not responsible for the actions of others.

41. Quote a song lyric that sums up 2014?

Jy met jou drome en gedagtes in jou oë
Jy met jou vrede wat in elkeen hoop en glo
Jy met jou deernis jou geduld en jou verstaan
Jy wat jou seer alleen wil dra

Ek wil vir jou
Somer wees en stilte gee
Ek wil vir jou
Die son gaan haal die wind die see
Ek wil so graag
Myself vir jou gee 

Jy met jou woorde en gebede in jou hart
Jy met jou vreugde so in oorvloed uit jou hand
Jy met jou wysheid jou geloof in elke dag
Jy met die seer agter jou lag

Woorde en Musiek: Christa Steyn

43. Most cherished memory of 2014?

@SirNoid offering me his last Rolo.

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I wish you enough,

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DVD GIVEAWAY!! @BestOfMeMovie @Sterkinekor @NicholasSparks

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I am going into 2015, having only a week or so ago, started a personal blog page, instead of using my personal Facebook page for Social Media. I ask very nicely that you follow The Nocturnal Wenchy.

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The Best of Me Movie released on the 24th of December at Ster-Kinekor Theatres. The film is based on the Nicholas Sparks novel of the same name and stars Michelle Monaghan , James Marsden , Lily Liberato and Luke Bracey.

I have some DVD hampers to give away!

The DVD Hampers consist of :

A bag containing:

  • Dear John DVD
  • Safe Haven Movie DVD
  • The Lucky One DVD
  • The Notebook DVD

    To win one of these hampers, please make sure you have liked The Nocturnal Wenchy and answer this easy question in the comment section of my new page!! 

FIVE prized will be drawn randomly 4 January 2015!!

Who wrote the books that served as the inspiration for the films?

Whoop!

I wish you enough,
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#DiscoverYourJourney with @capephototour cc @Safari365 @JohannMSmith

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Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

@capephototour is offering a HUGE discount for all who wants to join me on our the Peninsula photo tour and #DiscoverYourJourney on 27th December 2014. The departure point for this event will be 09h30am from The Cape Milner Hotel – 1 Milner Road, Tamboerskloof, Cape Town.

A very special price of R600 per person wanting to join! (The Chase the Sun Peninsula Tour usually costs R1 500 per person!)

You can get the discounted tickets by clicking on this link:  NocturnalWenchyDiscoverYourJourney 

The Peninsula Tour includes:

  • lunch in kalk bay
  • entrance to boulders
  • entrance to Cape point
  • sunset on Chappies
  • You can even use a Samsung NX300 if you so choose,  for free!!

I look forward to a wonderful Cape Town experience,  #DiscoverYourJourney with @Safari365 and the bookings they have made for us! Next up… Cape Canopy Tour!

I wish you enough,
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10 Things Me @LIEFLINGx @RoleneStrauss @connellcruise @sa_artists @sterkinekor @mnetmovies @TheatreOnSquare @NCT_Parktown

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

1. I collect mugs.  Places I’ve been.  Things I want to remember. Gifts from places and things other have seen.  So, if you travel or see something fab, I would appreciate a mug!

@LIEFLINGx is an amazing Afrikaans stage production.  Take it from a mug addict. You can charge more! I would have paid it.

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2. I’m a little smaller. @SirNoid bought me a new costume while visiting the North West Province this week. I loved my other (purple) one but it is simply to big. I am no @RoleneStrauss and I never will be, but eating the #LCHF way has enabled me to loose a Backstreet Boy or two. I have no goal weight,  let’s just see where we go. I suspect a year from now,  I will have hit a natural plateau. If you want to keep up with recipes etc like my Facebook page www.facebook.com/wenchybanting

3. The ‘empty nest syndrome’ hit me hard and proper.  While I enjoy the freedom,  time alone with @SirNoid… I do miss the laughter of a large family and knowing my kids are safe. I never thought I was a helicopter mom,  but it seems aviation isn’t far off. I miss all my kids,  not just those that gave me stretchmarks.

4. I don’t do actions.  In Sunday School (my grandfather is a pastor) when you would do matching actions to a song, I was like NO! In Primary School during war cries and people would clap and all do the same actions,  it was a NO! Now at concerts when the band is all ‘put your hands in the air!’,  I’m like…. It’s a NO! If I felt moved by your performance I would already have my hands in the air.  Don’t give me instructions.

5. I am not Sporty Spice. I hate going under water,  I am petrified of heights and being put in situations where I can’t control physical injury.  @SirNoid gets very frustrated with me. I was not an overweight child. I was very active. Who knew?  Also stupid. When nobody was around I would jump off the grandstand into the sandpit to purely because it scared me.

I understand my unwillingness to participate in situations like theme parks is annoying, however besides my fears, I do have Ankolysing Spondylitis and Fibromyalgia and I really am truly afraid of injury to my body. I felt like I lost precious time while the Dr’s were figuring it all out for MONTHS,  trying different medication. I can’t go back to that.  It’s a NO!

@SirNoid and I have been invited to do the Cape Canopy Tour next week,  I am petrified of heights but am assured I am in good hands and hopefully, like after doing the Whale Trail, I will have a sense of accomplishment! I admit,  losing weight has helped me feel I can attempt new physical experiences. Hopefully @SirNoid won’t trade me in for Sporty Spice.

6. I like urban living. After @SirNoid and I gave up Estate living for the urban jungle, there are two things I miss.  My spa bath (I love to bath) and the huge amount of space for entertaining (I love entertaining).

@SirNoid does not miss two hours in the traffic vs six minutes to sitting at his desk now! The younger kids miss the freedom of the Estate and the pool, but we couldn’t justify the cost,  vs the actual time they were with us.. especially since I was diagnosed, we were one salary down.

Being only two people in a massive house made me think of kids going hungry in townships….  I know. The smaller space did not feed the hungry kids!

7. I am involved in the world around me.  #OurDorothy  at National Children’s Theatre was a tremendous success. I hope you will continue to support @Theatre_Culture as we raise funds to take kids to the theatre who has never been. It is a R70 donation that may just spark an interest in tomorrow’s performers or various employment options within theatres!

8. I love to read.  My soul for a book.  I am in the process of collecting children’s books for children in our public health care section in association with the fabulous,  entertainer @connellcruise who is a resident.  Very Grey’s Anatomy!

Carel from @sa_artists has been incredible in his support and his hand of friendship is always open. A hand over of a portable library needs to be arranged as it currently adds to the decoration in our dining room. I would love to add more books before we do so however… You know I Like to go big or go home!

World Literacy Day is on 8 September 2015. It is still so far away….. but imagine how much bigger our outreach will be!!! Schools, other organisations, so many can still donate!  Please fill up my dining room!!! I beg REALLY well.

9. I am too busy to get the most out of every day. 2015 is all about the bass. Nahhhh it is about using the opportunity presented by a large Twitter following (almost at 23 000 followers!),  my 18 years of blogging and my Facebook transformation from personal account to a blog type page which allows a bigger following with a more focus. I would like to focus on more specific areas….

Naturally the performing arts and movies because I enjoy it hugely! I have had tremendous support from both industries for which I am most grateful. I would like to expand to more book reviews so if anyone can hook me up,  please do. I want and need to write more about the stage,  movies,  books…

A more general thought, I know I am a more effective marketing tool on Twitter but I need to cross that over to other social platforms. That said,  do LIKE my brand new page on Facebook www.facebook.com/thenocturnalwenchy –  Thank you!

10. I moved out!…. Into the blue bathroom. This bathroom use to be more bipolar than me.  It would shower and bath at the same time.

Eventually I called the plumbers and since water pressure is a huge issue in old buildings and we live in a duplex,  it was either gonna be a cold shower or a normal bath.  I chose bath as I love blue Shipmate. Now there is something few know about me! :)  @SirNoid thinks it’s ridiculous but he really should know after all this time that I am mere windswept and exotic!  So,  I have my own bathroom now which I quite enjoy.

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I wish you enough,
Wenchy 2015 signature