​Into The Woods Again

Dear friends and other interesting creatures, 

Thrilled to check in with my friend Wentzel,  with a guest post! Although we have never met in person,  this young man share a knowing of life at 3am. I’ve grown to love this boy. #wenchyskids 

I hope Wentzel will become a monthly guest,  at very least?  💜

I wish you enough, 



It’s a new year. But I suppose you know that.

What can I say? Generally this is seen as a good time. A happy time. New beginnings and all that. But I would like to think that we as people have grown enough to know that this notion is not necessarily true. It can also be quite scary. Let us be honest. We are entering the dawn of the Trump presidency. That’s enough to make me want to build an underground shelter for when all hell breaks loose. The idea that a new calendar is going to make things better is a little dumb. I made that mistake last year. I didn’t think that it could possibly be any worse than 2015, but 2016 ended up being one of the worst years of my life. As long as you’re alive things can get worse. They really can.

When Madame Wench said that she was opening up for New Years guest blog posts I knew that I wanted to write one. I was pleasantly surprised by the reaction to the last time I wrote for her and I guess that I wanted a little more attention from you guys. The thing is, I’m not really one for New Year’s Resolutions. As you might have guessed by now, I’m quite a pessimistic bastard. That said, I wanted to try in any case.

I thought about it, and I have four main resolutions, or perhaps dreams rather, for 2017:

1. To be more romantic. 2016 wasn’t all bad. In late December, I met a wonderful man who seems to be occupying my thoughts more often than not. This is all very new for me. I’ve never really been in a solid relationship. It’s as exciting as it is terrifying. I look forward to experiencing life with someone there next to me.

2. To make more art. Last year very almost crushed my love for acting, but I’ve had some time to think about it. Theatre is the great love of my life. To walk away from it at the age of 25 would be absolutely stupid. After watching Meryl Streep’s speech at the Golden Globes I was once again reminded of how important the work actors do can be. So, I’ll keep auditioning and I’ll keep performing, come hell or high water.

3. To fucking study further. My reason for using an expletive here is because Unisa is making it so bloody difficult for me to be accepted, despite the fact that I have everything I need to study there and more. But I won’t give up. I want my B.A. in English and Linguistics and they will accept me one way or another.

And lastly…

4. TO BREATHE. We can only control so much of our future. Good and bad things happen, and they don’t ask permission. They just happen. We can only deal with them once they occur. I’ve spent so much time worrying about the future. I’m tired of that. I’m letting it go. You should too.

“The way is dark. The light is dim. But now there’s you, me, her, and him. The chances look small. The choices look grim. But everything you learn there will help when you return there… Into the woods you go again. You have to every now and then. Into the woods, no telling when. Be ready for the journey.” ~ Stephen Sondheim

2016 took my hair with it.

The chicken that crossed the road. 

Dear friends and other interesting creatures ,

17 and a bit years ago we had the pleasure of welcoming our baby daughter into our world. As she was born, her Dad said, “There’s my little chicken!” and her nickname would stay.

When she started school 12 years ago she had a shor bob haircut, a totally oversized dress with a bag she could probably fit in.

When we fetched her that day,  the teacher called us aside as she needed some clarity on what Victoria prefers to be called.

As it happened the teacher made name tags for the children. Victoria gave her tag back and said that is not her name. The teacher had written “Vicky” on the tag.

Victoria explained to her teacher that “Vicky” is her “Aunty Vicky’s name”and that her name is Victoria which has many more letters. Well that set the stage for Queen Victoria to reign.

This year is to be known as #vixmatric2017 – Victoria’s final year of High School.

After the whirlwind we shall call Liam James… Victoria has been an easy girl to parent. Joyful with excellent projection as my dear friend, Godfrey Johnson would say. Strongly opinionated and not to be walked over. She enjoys painting,  reading, movies on the big screen, baking and spending time with her boyfriend whom she calls #Deadpool.

As this final year starts, I would like to wish our little chicken patience, believe in who she is at the core which is kinda #kickass…. to enjoy the wild, up and down journey Matric is. I hope she knows she is DEEPLY loved by many. I trusts she never questions that she can trust herself to make decisions. She is well equipped.

You’ve got this Chix. All of it. Just click ’em high heels Dorothy’s child. 

I love you more than purple, drag queens soetkoekies and the smell of cinnamon.


PS.  Keep growing the hair mermaid,  you are not from this world.  You swim far too deep.


The Kindness Of Strangers


2016 was a tough year

Hi. My name is Wentzel Lombard, I’m a 25-year-old freelance actor and (kind of) writer.

No, you don’t know who I am. I haven’t been in any big movies and I don’t do musicals. It’s not that I don’t like musicals, it’s just that I can’t sing or dance for shit. I’d like to make a film or two, but I don’t have a pretty face and I’m not masculine enough for the patriarchal Afrikaner audience. I do much better in theatre where I get to be anything I want to be.

As for writing, well that’s another case. I write on and off, and occasionally I get paid for it. The rest of the time I just scream into the abyss that is my blog. This is where her royal Wenchness (fuck you, autocorrect, that is a word). She asked me to write a guest blog post, but caught me at just the wrong time. I don’t consider myself to be the world’s greatest writer, and shortly before she asked me to do this, a major publisher rejected a manuscript that I sent to them. This hit my confidence quite a bit harder than I expected and caused me to hit a complete creative block. Also, when people ask me to write something for them I have a tendency of freaking the fuck out. When I write for myself, I feel like I can get away with not being so good, but when other people ask me to write for them, I feel like I need to pull a huge rabbit out of the hat. In fact, this is my fourth attempt to write something for Wenchy (fuck off, autocorrect, you’re beige). I didn’t finish the other three because I thought that they were shit.

Now you’re just going to have to deal with my shit.

Being a “creative” person is hard. I once read in a book about acting that you never see a plumber break down in tears because someone criticised his work. But when it comes to being creative we are so fucking desperate to be validated and successful. People can give me so many positive comments about something, but that one negative response will be the thing that swims around in my thoughts. This is necessary to a degree, of course. We need to better ourselves as artists and people. When someone points out a flaw and we deem it to be a valid point, we need to fix it if we can. The most boring artists are the ones who become stagnant and believe that they “have arrived” or know everything.

This is why I recently attended an advanced film acting course. Being a theatrical actor, I often find it difficult to make the shift to camera. Last year I did the beginner’s course and learned a lot. This year I learned even more. But I was frustrated with myself. I felt very depressed going into the course, making it very difficult for me to focus when we filmed our scenes. This was very apparent when we did playback.

After I had a huge (and embarrassing) meltdown at a rehearsal, I returned to therapy and my anti-depressant dosage got increased. This had a good and bad effect – On the upside I was no longer depressed. My feelings of gloom and doom dried up. I am again able to shower every day and not sit in my car crying for no reason. The downside was that all my feelings seem to have dried up. When people ask me how I am, I don’t really have an answer. I find myself in situations where I know that I would usually be really sad, angry, or even happy – but I feel nothing. I just shrug my shoulders through this fuck up that is life.

This mostly poses a problem with my work. Being an actor and (sort of) writer, I need to be in touch with my emotions. I don’t know how to be creative without linking it to emotions. Stories relate to people and the human condition, and if we remove the ability to feel then we become robots. Fuck, I think I just realized that I’m a robot.

Where was I going with this? Oh yes.

So, after realizing that I have been stripped of all creative ability, I started thinking that I would never finish writing something for Mother Wench. Instead, I went to the theatre with a friend. Since I’m not acting, I might as well go and watch other people act.

After the show, my friend introduced me to a few people. This kind of thing is an absolute nightmare for me. I have terrible social anxiety, but being a masochist, I also decided to choose a line of work that requires me to constantly meet new people – much to my dismay.

But then the strangest thing happened.

The one girl I got introduced to told me that I looked cool. I reacted the way that I react to most compliments: (What? Me? Oh… uhm… uh… uhm… Thanks. Haha). I’ve been called many things in my life, but “cool” definitely isn’t a regular. Next, we spoke to one of the cast members. Someone said something funny and I laughed (or maybe I was just anxious). Suddenly, the actor remarked that I had a beautiful smile. I almost died. This very attractive man (straight, unfortunately) liked my smile?

And then it clicked. I knew what to write about. Kind of.

I have always had a hard time dealing with myself, if that makes sense. Whenever I go to auditions, or even when I’m just walking down the street, I feel so ugly. Thus, when someone compliments a person like me, they have no idea of the impact it makes. We all have a certain degree of narcissism inside us, and this needs to be fed. We aren’t bad people for wanting others to validate us. We are just… people.

The other night I sat up until 4h30am talking to a friend of mine, and we discussed the topic of ghosts. I said that I don’t understand why they feel the need to manifest themselves. We then both agreed that it’s probably because they wanted to be remembered. We all want to be remembered, don’t we? Not necessarily in the way that James Dean or Marilyn Monroe are remembered, but it would be nice to think that for some time after I’m gone, people will think of me and remember that once upon a time there was a person called Wentzel and he did something.

And I realized that in asking me to write this post, I was also being validated by Madame Wench. This is something very special. Our family and friends have to be nice to us. Those who have never met us or barely know us aren’t obliged to do anything. This is why their kindness matters the most.

Thank you.

Wentzel on Twitter

Wentzel’s Blog 


Paint your picture blue and grey.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I posted this exactly a year ago, and wanted to share it with you again as it reminds me how important writing is to me. Not stats, not the correct hashtag, but real and raw – me.

I wish you enough,

The Nocturnal Wenchy

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,


It’s 3am.

While desperately trying to slow dance with the moon,  it is not meeting my gaze long enough for me to choose the song. There is no dancing me to the end of love.

Elusive urban skies. The same urban jungle that bring me a strange comfort, has the ability to swallow me whole … but alas I shall not go quietly into this dark night.

My body is betraying me as I rise and fall with the raw,  prolonged pain running from the soles of my feet to my neck. 

Lingering like a lovers touch in the small of my back,  slowly drawing me in. I close my eyes for we have played this game before. I know how this plays out.

Meeting in the middle of my shoulder blades a sharp, stabbing pain reminds me love is not always patient, nor…

View original post 109 more words

The River 

The summers were sweltering. Walking towards a braai fire to greet you, I remember the extra warmth of the fire clearly. I remember your smile and the true happiness as we said hello.

You had clearly already started the Merry part of Christmas. I expected nothing less. You always were more of a bottle than a glass kind of guy. The Vaal river was running strong behind the trees and it soothed our souls. 

I hear the laughter coming from the kitchen. Hands clapping. My face exploding in a smile as I enter the house and I know I had been spotted. Hugs so pure and with such delight that it had the power to raise the dead. 

All was well in the world.

Even if contact was broken over long periods of time, I always knew you loved me, as I loved you. It was a rare connection. 

I think of you and the river, with a hole in my heart, a tear in my eye and a smile playing on my lips as I close my eyes. I’m a “monkey’s wedding”. Raining with sunshine.

Since you left this earth earlier this year, I’ve been more aware of you. Somehow you are closer. I’ve told nobody for the fear of sounding more absurd than usual. Maybe I needed the shoulder to lean on. Thank you for lingering.

Even though we both know you were not an angel, I felt safe knowing you are in my world. The landscape is forever changed.

I know now that the river had nothing to do with soothing our souls. It was the people that surrounded us with their love, acceptance and our sense of belonging. The laughter, catching fish and swimming with frogs is gone. Those hugs that could raise the dead, has died. 

Just as we were, in that moment, we were enough.
Stel x

PS. “Jy weet mos”. 

Relax..then do it.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

​Would love to read your answers.

1. Are you named after someone? Yes, my Ouma Chrissie and my Oupa Mike. Christel-Michel I have always loved my name as I adored my Grandparents.

The little girl me.

2. When is the last time you cried? Yesterday, seeing my 20 year old son, Liam James after four months, I made an ugly cry face. I was so incredibly happy.

My Liam James and I

3. Do you like your handwriting? Not anymore. Ankolysing Spondylitis  is affecting my hands and sometimes it hurts to write. 

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Ham with a pinch of English mustard.

5. Do you have any children? Many ! The original cast that I grew my own self is Kev  (23) Liam James  (20) and Victoria  (17).. then Nicholas  (26), Douglas (16) and Jenna-Lee (13) is my children gained when I married @SirNoid. He gained Kyle (23) and Kyla (23). …. on then I have #wenchyskids all over the Internet.  💜 @SirNoid says I collect kids.

7. Do you use sarcasm? Sarcasm is the poor man’s wit, so no.

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Nope.

9. Would you bungee jump? Medically, my well paid rheumatologist would kick my ass … and personally I think my breasts would knock me out. So …. no!

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? Strawberry Pops which I have not had in about two years.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I’m often barefoot. I don’t like shoes. 

12. Do you think you are strong?  Physically I was much stronger 20 years ago. Mentally and psychologically I know I am stronger than what I give myself credit for.

13. What is your favorite ice cream? @HaagenDazs_SA Pralines and cream 

#HDHealthyOption @HaagenDazs_SA

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? If their smile reaches their eyes.

15. Football or Rugby? Football. #YNWA

16. What is the least favorite thing you like about yourself? My stomach. Hate it.

17. What color pants are you wearing now? Jean pant colout

18. What was the last thing you ate? An apple round midnight.

19. What are you listening to right now? Birds, cars, city type noise.

20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple.

21. Favorite Flavour? Caramel

22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?  Victoria’s bae, Jeandré 

Jeandré & Victoria

23. Favorite sport to watch? Tour De France, Football #YNWA and Formula One.
24. What is your hair colour? Purple 💜


25. Eye color? Brown
27. Favorite food to eat? Pork Belly at the moment.

28. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings 

29. Last movie you watched? The Martian

I wish you enough,


Celebrity Chefs Table Hosted at DAVINCI Hotel & Suites

This gallery contains 5 photos.

Originally posted on Legacy Hotels:
Ten celebrity guests were treated to a unique chefs table dinner at the DAVINCI Hotel & Suites hosted on Saturday, 3 December 2016, hosted by Executive Chef Sylvester Nair. Guests were welcomed in Maxim Lounge with a taste of an Afropolitan Cocktail paired with smokey oysters.  Guests were then escorted to the…

Cruelty free.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I received a press release with information I thought some of you may be interested in.

I’m love Sorbet, and do want to keep my readers in the loop. Unfortunately my happy place of beauty, Sorbet Fourways does not have a Sorbet Drybar  but the therapists at Sorbet Killarney Mall is lovely. In a moment of need, it is a quick in and out and you look fabulous, without having made an appointment. My daughter Victoria’s hair is super long and very difficult to wash and dry, so for a special occassion it is a great spoil.


Cherry Blossom Flowers Shampoo & Conditioner

I wanted to share with you that PETA have endorsed the Brazilian hair care products from INOAR which you can purchase at your local Sorbet Dry Bar, or online – including the very popular Cherry Blossom Flowers Range.

Instead of animals, INOAR only uses vegetable-based ingredients in their formulations. This is why INOAR has been included in PETA’s list of cruelty free companies.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is a nonprofit corporation created in 1980, which has over 5 million members, and is dedicated to animal rights. PETA’s motto reads: “Animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, use for entertainment or abuse in any other way.”

Don’t say I don’t keep you informed. 🙂

I wish you enough,


@SirNoid ♡ @NocturnalWenchy 

Who is older?

@SirNoid is older as girls have started calling him “Oom“.  I’m #14forever. You do the math. ♡

How long have you been together? 
Since 12th of January 2008.

Who is the most sensitive? 
I am hyper sensitive and hurt emotionally and physically very easily. I laugh as loudly as I cry.

@SirNoid cries at Disney movies and adverts. I’m not sure if that means he is sensitive or appreciate the performing arts.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? 
Wherever @SirNoid gets invited to join me at a #foodie event, we dining out as a couple! ♡ (Can you feel the lack of budget tonight…? )

@SirNoid has become a #foodie in his own right, especially craft beer. Proud of him

Who has the quick temper? 
Coming from an Italian/ Portuguese background I have a red, hot temper. There is a reason I decided never to own a gun. I would take you out. I would not feel bad.  You clearly needed to go. I learned that lesson during my first marriage.

@SirNoid may have been born in Welkom but his temper matches mine.

Who is more social? 
I’m exceptionally more social the older I get… I care less and less how others feel about me,  which is scary and I started off on a rather low scale.

@SirNoid…  I think depends on the company.

Who is the most stubborn? 
I’m actually not sure. Imagine we had a child!

Who wakes up earlier? 
We both wake up when @SirNoid ‘s alarm goes off.

Do you get flowers often? 

Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? 
Me.  @SirNoid is never wrong.

Who has the craziest ex’s? 
There has been some hectic times but thankfully normality has settled.

Who wears the pants in your relationship? 

Who cries more? 
Me.  I am a dramatic art. Dammit.

Who said “I love you” first? 

Who is the better cook? 

Who is more messy? 
I am.

Who’s the best driver? 
Me  when @SirNoid is not in the car. (ha ha😵!)

Who makes the Coffee / Tea? 
I make coffee ☕  in the morning and at night. Something has to be an apology for my crappy cooking right?

BTW, what coffee do YOU buy?