Nocturnal Wenchy

African Hips Don't Lie

fanTy fences

Btw – my son Liam took the above picture!

Driving to work this morning I was thinking about a blog entry Noid’s mom wrote, (read it: HERE) about her life as a wife and mother.  When I read it the first time I cried… and every subsequent time.  She writes beautifully, sincerely and with so much love for her husband and children, it touched the very fiber of what family is about.  How wonderful it must be to have experienced such absolute dedication, belief, and commitment!  I am truly envious…. in a big way.


Noid’s Mom has something I will never have… style, grace and “a white picket fence.”


A “white picket fence” happens when a girl meets a boy; they fall in love, get married, have 2.4 children, and live in the suburbs.  They love each other very much, they have sex three times or week (that is what the books say people!!) their house is a home, they are a close, warm, loving unit who adore their children… and although they have their up’s and down’s, they work on their differences and continue to give to their relationship… hence, they live happily ever after i.e. no divorce for them!  Yay!  Fairytale.


Btw, if the original girl and boy end up disliking each other with her hoping he would spend more time playing golf, and him wishing she would spend the afternoon with her mother, friends or anywhere really… as long as she is far away from him……. but stay together for the kids/money/fear/fill in reason here…. but smile lovingly for their annual family picture, beautifully illustrated on a Christmas card, they do not get awarded the “white picket fence” badge.  Sorry.  


Although you are not your past and you get to reinvent yourself anytime you choose, in terms of the world at large, you only get one chance at the traditional “white picket fence” badge.  Sorry, en so.  Mess it up… and you become a failuredivorcee(a word I dislike almost as much as the Afrikaans word for nipple!), a single parent, or a blended family (at least that sounds colourful!) and if you very intelligent and oulik, you get to think of a fabulous, fanTy name like “The Waltons”!  (Your many, many, many children, mine many, many, many children and our bed.)


Because your life was not as you imagined, you are not disqualified for the “white picket fence” badge.  Do not give up.  No!  But, if you phone now…  You can and you must try again!  ….  BUT – because you are now singularly blended and colourful, as a consolation prize you get to invent your own fence!  Yay!  No more virginal white for you.


I want my white picket singularly blended fence to be yellow with purple flowers (… and the green roof of our house in the distance – postcard perfect huh?).  I want it to represent love, life and laughter abundantly… just like the “white picket fence” of old.




I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities.  I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.

– Billy Connolly

11 responses to “fanTy fences”

  1. White picket fences are not all that… they weather and look kak, and take a lot of upkeep and maintenance to keep up the charade. Pah…

    Thanks for your concern today. *hug*


  2. Just imagine someone thinks you are worth the effort to keep painting that fence, to keep repairing, regardless… and you deem the other worth the effort also… sjoe… for real, no charade… (I don’t want a charade, no matter what colour it comes in!!!)

    You welcome babe. Thinking of you.


  3. awesome post wenchy- i could not agree more! i’m working on my first fence!!


  4. almost forgot (again) to tell you how much i love your profile pic.
    and the photo is stunning! liam has quite the eye.


  5. I love non traditional fences. And add in a few other nationalities while we’re at it. Family in many countries. Kinda fun to paint your own fence. And blue morning glories ALL over it for me!!!


  6. Babe I know where this came from after you telling me your stuffs and I can only hope you heard what I said to you tonight and that you understand what I was trying to tell you. If You do and you did I am sure your can have your fence in any colour scheme you like.

    Thoughts become things and so on…..

    I love you


  7. Liam has his Mothers talent!
    Love your post, so true and honest. Hoping that my white picket fence holds up for a while, I’m a terrible painter 😉


  8. Such a bad painter I am. Paint …. peeling ….. paint ….. peeling…. Some things are just never meant to be.
    Agree with Hay, Liam has his mothers talent.
    Lots of hugs for you today my friend. We will smudge our make-up together today.


  9. Moaning Myrtle avatar
    Moaning Myrtle

    We all want the white picket fence, even though it means different things to different people. We all deserve to have happiness that it represents. Have a good week. xx


  10. Colourful blended fence for me. My white picket fence burnt down.


  11. charmssespens avatar

    I had the white picket fence already and lost it to death – so I’m now building on a new one and hopefully it will be bright and bubbly and last forever or at least as long as I do.


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About Me

Mom to many, wife to SirNoid. Lover of water, walks in the shade and all things purple.

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