Nocturnal Wenchy

African Hips Don't Lie

We love because it’s the only true adventure.

Break ups are hard. Torture. Soul destroying. Seldom does anyone ask, “So why you together?” but plenty are lightning fast to ask “So what happened? Why did you break up?”

I never liked him anyway…. You can do better than her … Never thought you should have taken on the responsibility of her kids anyway… Hates how he speaks to the children….. yes, if somebody couldn’t choose to be positive, you can’t make them….there is life after him….you are so much better off without her….now you can spend quality time with your children….it’s probably for the best….you will be fine…

You lived, you loved, you trusted, you believed, you share your soul – and then the darkness comes and shatters all illusions. We lash out in ways demons would be proud. Hell rejoices at your anger. We want to feel vindicated and set free, not wanting to own our part of the wrong.

 Disappointment, bewilderment, hurt, pain, disbelief and you are left questioning your core being. Where did it all go so wrong? What did I do? What didn’t I do? What could I have done differently? You sit in the shade as night falls on the floor…. and you cry. Not tears, deep to the core sobs filled with longing and regret. Why? Just why do you physically ache if a heart is an organ and there is no ‘undo‘?

Survival kicks in. You do what is necessary but you are not sure why because morning has no glory. You beg, borrow and short of stealing you do your best to provide for those that depend on you. You don’t trust your true self to anyone because the raw emotion may just push them away, and you… the edge is a thin line moist with an easier way out. So many mistakes, so much to overcome – is it even possible?

You pretend and smile saying how fresh starts all round is truly spring time for the soul. Fragile liar you are as you cry for what had been your joy.

Somewhere between broken and sunlight we found each other weeks later over tears, apologies, dissecting how we got in a deep black hole in the first place, how one can prevent such destruction and healing deep words.

The reasons are assumed by most, the truth known by few but hugely judged by many. The pebble in their own shoes lost for a moment as everyone’s gets to point, laugh, declaring a reconciliation a mistake withholding their congratulations …. and causing friendships to be questioned and others gratefully confirmed. Some celebrate that maybe, just maybe, love does conquer all and proclaims applause for bravery and a life lived to the full… most probably fearful for future pain…. but what are we if not vulnerable to live life?

Just perhaps the human spirit is stronger in fighting for life, than lying down to die… or lead a little life of safety. Maybe – regardless of the huge prices there are to pay in hard cash, in tender emotion or relationships that require healing for months to come, the massive life lessons learned and the deep regret that the darkness came at all.

He took me somewhere only we know. The hills were alive with his tears and mine. Heartfelt vows as the sun set on a beautiful day. No more Sunday, bloody Sunday.

There were no ‘till death us do part’ in the vows we wrote ourselves. God has a sense of humour but I don’t always like being the jester. My husband organized the wedding, the venue, the Minister, the chapel with as little religious overtone as possible, the helicopter pilot, my dress, a gift for me in our room with champagne and engraved glasses, perfect weather and kisses I will never forget. There were cupcakes and sparkles to drink, bubbles we blew in the air and laughter mixed with tears.

It will always be – somewhere, only we know.

Why are we together? I love him. He loves me. It is as simple and as complicated as that. Nobody else needs to understand it, like it or give approval. It is what it is…. We are excited as we go into tomorrow, dreaming of our children’s laughter and our delight that we dared the go big… and not go home.

Our words as we exchanged rings:

“With this ring, I give you my promise

that from this day forward, you shall not walk alone.

May my heart be your shelter

And my arms be your home.”


L’Chaim – to life.

 Pictures of our daring adventure

28 responses to “We love because it’s the only true adventure.”

  1. my dear friend, I think some of us were so shocked as we did not even know that you were back together….. you were hurting, we just want to wrap up in the bubble wrap that Liam gave you. You have lived your life “out there” for everyone – so excuse us … me for seeming a bit off when I found out. I truly do wish you ALL the happiness and love in the world. Thank you to Dion for being a total romantic.. reminds me of my husband.
    as always – love xxxx


  2. I have missed your writing so much. Thank you for this post.
    You both look so happy. Congrats once again and many, many blessings on your union.


  3. I am crying for you, for your happiness, your sadness, your hope, your love and you courage. Be happy, be real, BE. Together.

    With love.

    The day I heard it was over my hope died… now maybe, just maybe, my hope can slowly rekindle. Maybe I can believe in faeries after all…


  4. Ag, Aunty, it sounds simply wonderful!! I don’t know the ifs, ands, buts or whys and, frankly, I’m not sure I want to. I’m satisfied that you’re satisfied that this is where you’re supposed to be going. Love and happiness to you both!

    “Just perhaps the human spirit is stronger in fighting for life, than lying down to die…” – I can’t begin to tell you how true this rings for me!


  5. Your words, as I sit here with tears of happiness in my eyes…and the occasional Sniff… are absolutely beautiful and so true and so apt.

    This, your talent for putting into words , so well, the feelings and the emotions, is just one of the many many millions of reasons I love you.

    We lived, we dared, we bonded, we built a family, we rejoiced and we grew…in so many ways but then we lost each other and tried to justify it during the hurt and the separation but as you know, and I know there was always hope, we both believed and you were my dream all along.

    I love you and adore you and respect you and will always walk with you.

    Your loving and committed Husband.

    PS. I still smile every time I see your new name Mrs Kruger


  6. i’m so glad you’re blogging again and i am truly, truly, happy for you two. when i saw you together at the anglug wedding i thought you two were meant, though of course no one really knows the path that people travel except the ones making the journey.
    i’ve been in the break-up/make-up stages way to often, so i wasn’t really surprised by your update, just elated for you because i’ve lived in that pain myself. in any case i figured something was going on by how often a certain dion kruger was commenting on your fb page. 😉
    may you never walk alone. xxx


  7. Woot that you’re blogging again too!!
    So much of sadness and happiness in this post :))
    Love the comment by Sir Noid :))
    Love that you’ve found your happiness with eachother


  8. Welcome back !, and congrats to you both, may you be eternally happy….


  9. Hi There Sass, A certain Dion Kruger could not stay away! It is Love!!


  10. So long as you are happy my friend!! That is the most important thing. What others think has no bearing.
    Only good things for the two of you and your family!
    As you say, L’Chaim!
    Mazel Tov dearest Wenchy!!!!


  11. I either knew or hoped that your journey together wasn’t over. A few times I wanted to ask you if there was really no hope to reconcile but didn’t want to upset you. You have always looked so in love to me so reading that you were now Mr. and Mrs. filled me with much hope and happiness. Many wishes for happiness for you both. As I’ve said before Christel, you deserve a happily ever after.


  12. I am just so thrilled that you got back together and what a romantic new beginning. It just seems so right.
    Congratulations to you both.


  13. Still smiling! So so elated for you!


  14. I am so happy for both of you 🙂 It was quite a shock to see the news of your marriage, but a really wonderful, beautiful shock. You are blessed to have found your way back to each other, and I wish you both the very best. Here’s to you, Wenchy and Sir Noid, and to your Daring Adventure of a lifetime 🙂


  15. someone above said..just came as a shock to some of us…like over one day..married the next…ok with space in between..I don’t write as well or as beautifully as you. And this is a truly beautiful peace. You truly deserve to be are a really beautiful person. But have to point out that just because someone withholds congratulations or do the gushy thing doesn’t mean friendships have to be questioned…. I have friends that dont’ always agree with me or my decisions..and major ones at that..doesn’t mean they aren’t friends… I’M JUST SAYING! Be happy and keep up the amazing writing and taking such inspiring photos!


  16. totallycooked avatar

    he even organised the dress? dear gods he is good 🙂 love just must


    1. Very Proper husband I am and even Morantic


  17. I’m so glad you’re blogging again and very truly happy for you both.
    Still smiling and can’t wait to keep following your journey.


  18. You are such beautiful people:) mazeltov, and wishing you all the best in the future. May the most that you wish for be the least that you get:)


  19. Jy weet mos nou 🙂 Love you!!!


  20. Gaby darling avatar
    Gaby darling

    Hey you!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! A little late I know…but I am so not with the times! I did wish Noid Congratulations for the both of you when he told me the news…so I hope he passed them on!!! My goodness what a beautiful blog that was!!! I am happy to have BOTH you & Noid as my friends…and I hope it will stay that way for a LONG time….no loving one more than the other…EVER!!! 🙂

    Big loves & hugs!



  21. I agree with Heather. It was a shock to most people. Specially those walking next to you all the way.

    I wish you enough.


  22. When I saw the pictures on Facebook, my heart just raced into a flurry of happiness for you both. I am so thrilled that you have found each other, and I am also so thrilled that the Waltons will be together again.

    I am also giddy with excitement that you are blogging again! I have really missed your excellent writing.


  23. Sometimes two people need to step apart
    and make a space between
    that each might see the other anew,
    in a glance across a room
    or silhouetted against the moon.
    ~Robert Brault


  24. So glad you get your happy ever after and glad that you are back. I missed your writing.


  25. Moaning Myrtle avatar
    Moaning Myrtle

    congrats again Wenchy – only saw your new blog now 🙂


  26. Yeah. Thank you for sharing this post Wenchy.


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About Me

Mom to many, wife to SirNoid. Lover of water, walks in the shade and all things purple.

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