... a bit of that

I wish you a long life

My husband introduced me to Jason some months ago saying “You have to become Jason’s friend on Facebook. His status updates are hilarious. You would love him. ”…… I sent Jason a message introducing myself and he accepted my friend request. As Noid suggested, I immediately loved Jason. He is inappropriate, he is equally offensive and he loves his wife.

Soon enough I was introduced to his wife Cindy whom although much younger than I am, felt like I had known my entire life. Sometime you just connect with a soul. Such has been my experience in being accepted as friends to both Jason and Cindy, being welcomed into their lives and home.

Jason is a testament that great personal destruction can be overcome or that we can beat our inner demons. He is incredibly funny, has tremendous energy and a sense of honour and respect I have only come across a few times in my life. He speaks to you as if you are the only person in the room… truly listening and responding.

Cindy is a beautiful young social worker who clearly adores her husband. She is loving and tender, giving and filled with an innocence that one cannot capture, but only experiences with the calmness that is her. She is tremendous with children and is wise, understanding and encouraging without ever being intrusive.

During Noid and mine recent turbulent time, I did what I always do. I pushed people away. I climb in the cave and I surrender to personal destruction. One I fear may someday be the end of me.

Amongst others, I sent Jason and Cindy a sms saying they are Noid’s friends, that I love them but it is too painful, I can’t be their friend. I asked them to look after Noid and wished them good things. They responded that they are my friends too and that if I needed anything, they would be there. I didn’t have words.

In one of my heart sore moments I again pushed them away a second time and Jason wrote back saying he is saddened…. I remember sitting in my car looking at his reply on my phone and I cried. Somebody wasn’t giving up on me. I am not big on God but there is a scripture that says that once you have been in the palm on God’s hand, He would not let you go. Jason’s response made me feel like I was in the palm of a hand I trust, but may not know.

During the sad time, Jason and Cindy arrived at my gate one night. I looked terrible. I had been crying for hours before they got there. They came in and they each held me as I cried. Actually my tears surpassed sadness, I felt filled to the brim with sorrow and I must have felt heavy as they held me in their arms. For a moment, I felt like when I still believed in God and somebody would hold you while praying for you. In their friendship, I was light. I felt loved, supported and safe. They may not even remember this moment, to them it may have been a moment in time, visiting a hurting friend, but they were balm to my soul. I never forget kindness.

Jason’s mom died last night. As is Jewish tradition the funeral was early this morning. Noid and I attended after giving it a bit of a sms to Jewish friends as to custom, tradition, what to say and do (thanks Joanne and Gina)…. I may be a little in love with all things Jewish…. Strangely for one who doesn’t do actions, I love the rituals, the sense of community and purpose – but short of becoming a Catholic, my chances of being a Borat loving, tattooed Jew is even less.

Slowly as men changed the carrying of the coffin, we walked to the grave site…. I felt proud of Jason being the leader of his family, standing tall, fearless in his mourning. I imagined my son being that brave and knew his Mom must have been very proud of him. I felt incredibly sad for Cindy who was clearly hurting. As Jason picking up the shovel to cover his mom’s coffin with the dry, brown sand I felt my tears smack my chest – it was burying Oupa Mike all over… it always is.

There is much I want to write about, many happy and joyful places and things I celebrate – but tonight…. to my friends, whom have taught me much in a short space of time, I wish you a long life….

11 thoughts on “I wish you a long life”

  1. Real friends are hard to come as was clearly seen by some of the judgement from some of our “so called friends” as we travelled our road over the last while.

    Through it all though, Dear Jason and Cindy were by both our sides and they are friends in a million.

    We love and respect you both and are blessed to have you in our lives.

    From my side, I was proud to be your friend today and I also wish you both a long life.

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  2. How lucky you are too have such amazing friends……and they in turn are blessed to have you and Dion (a beautiful couple)

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  3. i think it’s my catholic upbringing that makes me fall in love with teh ritual of things… everything from listening to a church service said in latin to eating sushi… anything with a certain amount of ritual and proper way of doing things fascinates me!!

    I’m so glad you’ve had friends like that to carry you through. xx

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  4. Thank you for sharing this post Wenchy. I’ve read each post going back for Nov 1st. Entery time you mention “so called friend” I feel sick in my heart. Pls can u forgive me? Pls can we still b friends? Pls say it wasnt me.

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  5. So I read this when jays mom passed away, and remember sitting in the house crying to what u wrote. but im sitting at work now feeling so overloaded and in some ways alone, and i just remember to look at what you wrote. We are honoured to have such amazing friends like u guys. Everything in life happens for a reason at the right time. We became friends when both jay and I needed friends the most. For this, I am eternally grateful.

    Love you los friends:)
    Mwuah

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