Our neighbours are not proper. Okay, maybe they proper in some Somalian village or something but not in suburbia. They are forever doing things that annoy me…. like a few weeks ago it was peacocks, before then we have had bunnies, cats, dogs, hamsters, an African grey… and a baby that cries non stop that Liam says is freaky.
So Liam walks into a bar my room, “Mom, our neighbours are now Noah. Lovers of all animals. I swear. They have a goat.”
…. at which point I had to drop to the floor in laughter. F-uck that was funny.
It is at this moment the same neighbour shouts asking for their ball they had kicked over the wall. I say Liam give Noah their ball back…. Liam aswers: “Yes Master“.
……………………….. and we close with:
When the ark’s door was closed Noah called a meeting with all the
animals. “Listen up!” Noah said with a demanding voice. “There will
be NO sex on this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand
it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After
we see land, you can get your penis back.”
After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife’s cage and was
very excited. “Quick!” he said, “Get on my shoulders and look out the
window to see if there is any land out there!”
Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said,
“Sorry, no land yet.”
“Damn!”, exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.
This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs.
Rabbit asked, “What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for
forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able
to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day?”
“Look!”, said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece
of paper, “I GOT THE HORSE’S RECEIPT!!”
PS. I am newly wed. I am allowed to make kak sex jokes. 🙂
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