Nocturnal Wenchy

African Hips Don't Lie

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Melany, Jax and I met online via a moms e-mail group I administered, SAMomsOnline many, many years ago. As time went by we became a close knit group of woman from all over South Africa. It was a wonderful group of people and we all visited from Rustenburg to the South Coast! Nobody thought it weird to arrange a get together for waffles in the South Coast at the Waffle House. LOL I am still friends with many of these mom’s and I will treasure what we had forever.

(Never tell me the internet does not make for real friendships, connections and treasures untold)

Over time, a sub-division formed that we renamed “The Power of Three”. Gemini’s of the world unite (our birthdays are few weeks apart) – SuperMom (Mel), BroomGirl (Jax) and Wenchy (me).

At the time we were all married, we went away for weekends together and as families we spent lots of time together generally. Us girls shared EVERYTHING and thankfully the men all got along and the kids were very fond of each other (my daughter, Victoria has always had a crush on  Jax’s son Tristan and Kevin played big brother to Mel’s boys like a champion. I credit that relationship fully for Kevin’s fluency in Afrikaans!)

Life turned upside down and our white picket fences started to change colour – fast!!!! We were a great support base for each other. The standard response was that although we may not always have agreed what each chose to do, or how we responded, we will always love each other and be there for each other – AND WE WERE.

Mel drove hours to stand next to me to bury my Oupa Mike because I didn’t have anyone, Jax, I will never forgot had to come and tell me that my friend Noel had committed suicide, Jax sat next to me when my divorce summons arrived…. and cried with me as I signed it.  Mel sms’d daily and it simply said “You are more than a marriage”… They all threatened to bury Noid in the apple orchard if he should hurt me and I have no doubt they still will. LOL

Our rollercoaster had no end…  Jax and myself got divorced – Mel remained proper and is still married to Tommie.  Jax re-married and had another child and Mel had another child – I remained proper in not having another child, but I recently re-married. 🙂

A year or so ago life shifted once more…. and like the musketeers “The Power of Three” disbanded. There was no argument. No fight. No big break-up. Our friendship as a threesome became less intense, we saw less of each other and I admit, I felt the “missing/longing” daily for a long time.

Melany and I remain close as our friendship is one I cannot clearly define, it’s a bond (she is part of me, in many ways a nicer version of me and she says I am the more daring version of her)… while Jax and I work in the same building, we seldom see each other but chat occasionally via office communicator. We do remain protective of each other.

We no longer share the daily ups and downs of our lives in great detail but we are friendly. I cannot speak for the dynamic between Jax and Mel as I’ve never asked either of them. I miss seeing them both more often and I miss the times we spend together as families with kids running wild, braai on the go and laughter over absolute nonsense… but that was our season…

So, the “someone” I didn’t want to let go is “The Power of Three”…. but we did just drifted. Doesn’t mean I do not love and care for them both deeply… and I do miss the intense support, friendship and sincere love we shared. Nobody can take from us what we shared. Nobody will tell our secrets.

Here I stand, by the grace friendship – extended to me.


Thankfully seasons change all the time and I’ve made other meaningful connections with people whom I love and care for and who love and care for me….

10 responses to “Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.”

  1. This spoke to me, my faraway friend. A person who I was certain that I could never live without, moved to the other side of the world over 2 years ago. She’ll be back but things aren’t the same between us. Too much has changed in what will turn into 5 years before her return. My heart used to break daily from my sadness; now it’s just kind of sore from what I realize that we’ve lost and can’t get back. Love to you.


  2. Hope you can all reconnect someday, sounds like an amazing friendship 🙂


  3. Ok, that made me cry. You wrote that so well and for the past 4 years I have worked through the same feelings with friends left behind when we moved. The contact is now next to nothing, but the memories are cherished and the friendships were so important for their season and now I move on and build and cherish the new friendships. Thank you Wenchy for your post.


  4. I hate outgrowing friends. Sometimes with big life changes the drifting just happens. I hope the 3 of you can reconnect. You make me want to blog again my friend. And as for meaningful relationships from ppl on the Internet? My fiance and some of my best friends are people I met online.


  5. I miss all of that too….maybe more than you know. I don’t speak about it openly and I miss the face that everyone got along. I think having the men all being friends made it much easier. It wasn’t difficult to convince Tommie that we should go visit. Now …. i don’t know…things have changed. Doesn’t make me want to be there any less. Still feels like I should be in my car driving there most weekends.


  6. I know you miss your Friends and I think we must make a plan to go and visit Tommie and Mel.

    I really like them too.

    Am scared of being buried in an apple orchard but like them none the same.

    Loves you


  7. When I saw the heading of this blog, I knew exactly what you would write about 🙂 (that is a good thing).

    This mad me very sad.


  8. Your connection will always be special. Hopefully the season will turn again?


  9. Indeed, somehow there are times and seasons for friendships – some remain strong, others just drift. The season ended.


  10. my heart is sore… fading friendships seem to be a hallmark of my life… sometimes there is not much to be done for it but to be thankful for what once was…


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About Me

Mom to many, wife to SirNoid. Lover of water, walks in the shade and all things purple.

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