Nocturnal Wenchy

African Hips Don't Lie

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

My immediate negative self talk answer was my body, but then it would be a lie. This is Africa, I get plenty compliments on the size of my ass from black men and my white husband seems to have had a mind shift and seems pretty keen on my ass or any other part really… so I guess I can’t go with that. LOL


I never get complimented by any beautician when I go for a pedicure on how beautifully I cut and paint my toenails because I have zero fine motor skills and I do a crap job.  It basically looks like I have just filled all possible nail away and then slam dunked my toes in colour. Crap I tell you.

Problem solved…. I have them painted FOR me and cut FOR me at the salon! I admit, thankfully they don’t chip so easily and don’t grow madly so I don’t need to have them done all the time so it is not that expensive (my husband IS reading this you know!) I must tell you however that Victoria has shown great promise in this department and does her OWN toe nails every Friday and she does a fantastic job with glitter and everything, so soon I’ll be saving on costs!!!

PS. Please make sure my nails are painted when you bury me = PURPLE. I no longer want to be cremated. I want a Jewish type funeral but with yellow roses and sunflowers… but plain box and my own people to cover me, the men who loved me… and lots of people are to make great speeches about how fantastic I was.  Please put nail art also, Clinique chocolate ice lip stick and make sure my hair is coloured (no grey anywhere) and straightened (GHD, don’t cheat). Bury me in my wedding underwear ’cause they gorgeous…  I don’t wanna look crap when I see my father, my Oupa Mike, Ouma Chrissie and the dead boy Tim and Noel. I wanna be proper….. and I am sure they all will appreciate a bit of lace after all that harp singing and all. 🙂

 AND if I catch a moment of your not be fucking mournful, I will give you a small haunting. 🙂 Yes, I know I always say life is for the living but that is only for after you have cried for me ALLOT..

Oh wait! I never get complimented on my love of country music either… so listen to Tim McGraw sing “Just to see her smile…

11 responses to “Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.”

  1. I loves your toes and how you paint them….is cute.

    And your fine motor skills are just “fine”. I will tell you why in private.

    So now you have been complimented on those two me thinks you are in a bit of a bother.

    Love for country music….. Well that is a bit of a push but the words are lovely.
    Loves you


  2. I cant paint my toes for shit… but I love having them done for me 🙂

    My moms only request when we bury her is to have D.D.T.W.I.G inscribed on her tombstone. It stands for Ding Dong The Witch Is Gone. No, seriously, that is what she has always told me, she even said if I dont do it she will haunt me 🙂


  3. I love going for a pedicure, it is the ultimate in pampering for me!


  4. Joanne Metcalfe avatar
    Joanne Metcalfe

    Stumbled across your blog this morning through who I think is your hubby on my hubby facebook profile. Got to say I throughly enjoyed it. You’ve had me in stitches and on the verge of tears at the same time. Have added to my favorites so will be reading on as you continue.


  5. Manicures, pedicures, facials and boxes of colour are all part of the household budget – right at the top.


  6. Natalie Archer avatar
    Natalie Archer

    Painting my toes are my downfall as well. Thus I try to wear closed shoes all the time. Enjoy your pedis when you go for them.
    I just love country music as well. My biggest wish is to go for some line dancing. Someday somewhere sometime…..


  7. I am the same, i have zero mani/pedi skills. i’ve never plucked up teh courage to go for a professional pedi tho, because my feet are in such awful condition!

    And i agree with the funeral requests. I will go full poltergeist on the first person i see not suitably devastated at my demise… just saying :-p


  8. OK. I am not actually interested in your toes or pedi skills. I do think that your tattoos are AWESOME!
    Love them.


  9. I have never had a proper pedicure, I think I must try it sometime!


  10. You are just one of those all over fabulous people,toes and all…


  11. I love painted toe nails, but I do my own. I hate people touching my feet, it’s just weird.


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About Me

Mom to many, wife to SirNoid. Lover of water, walks in the shade and all things purple.

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