My immediate negative self talk answer was my body, but then it would be a lie. This is Africa, I get plenty compliments on the size of my ass from black men and my white husband seems to have had a mind shift and seems pretty keen on my ass or any other part really… so I guess I can’t go with that. LOL
So……………….
I never get complimented by any beautician when I go for a pedicure on how beautifully I cut and paint my toenails because I have zero fine motor skills and I do a crap job. It basically looks like I have just filled all possible nail away and then slam dunked my toes in colour. Crap I tell you.
Problem solved…. I have them painted FOR me and cut FOR me at the salon! I admit, thankfully they don’t chip so easily and don’t grow madly so I don’t need to have them done all the time so it is not that expensive (my husband IS reading this you know!) I must tell you however that Victoria has shown great promise in this department and does her OWN toe nails every Friday and she does a fantastic job with glitter and everything, so soon I’ll be saving on costs!!!
PS. Please make sure my nails are painted when you bury me = PURPLE. I no longer want to be cremated. I want a Jewish type funeral but with yellow roses and sunflowers… but plain box and my own people to cover me, the men who loved me… and lots of people are to make great speeches about how fantastic I was. Please put nail art also, Clinique chocolate ice lip stick and make sure my hair is coloured (no grey anywhere) and straightened (GHD, don’t cheat). Bury me in my wedding underwear ’cause they gorgeous… I don’t wanna look crap when I see my father, my Oupa Mike, Ouma Chrissie and the dead boy Tim and Noel. I wanna be proper….. and I am sure they all will appreciate a bit of lace after all that harp singing and all. 🙂
AND if I catch a moment of your not be fucking mournful, I will give you a small haunting. 🙂 Yes, I know I always say life is for the living but that is only for after you have cried for me ALLOT..
Oh wait! I never get complimented on my love of country music either… so listen to Tim McGraw sing “Just to see her smile… “
Nocturnal Wenchy 
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