I am loosing my mind, but if you need me…. I am right here.

Today is not my best day. I woke up next to my husband which to many is the most ordinary thing in the world. To me…it is a simple pleasure…like seeing a butterfly in your garden or seeing an old friend unexpectedly. It was as it should be.

Last night, we had a lovely evening out with friends. Sharing a meal and playing 30 seconds. My husband and I am not halve bad at that game {actually Noid and I rock!} So another plus there.

I slept solid, no insomnia and woke up feeling like somebody has beaten the ‘I must owe the godfather money’ or something out of me. Battered and bruised. Now this inflammation illness of mine comes and goes…it kicks ass, but it always leaves again.

I find it amusing that for one as ‘negative’ as I am often accused of being, this illness did not mean a life of painful movement, blue marks and anti-inflammatory medication. It just is, part of my genetic make-up, along with anxiety and depressive episodes or wishing it would rain. It is as part of me as singing in the car or spending my last cent on Xanor and a book. Trying to figure out a Wench seems impossible, but the journey appeals.

As I had spend the night at Noid’s and he was playing golf today, I decided to go home.

I love walking into my falling down house with the chipping paint, the overgrown grass thanks to the rain, the organza curtain in my room that has torn due to age and a beating of the sun. It may be an old beaten down house to many, but to me….with its less than a swamp like pool…., it feels the closest thing to home I know at this uncertain time.

I put on some washing as it appears my domestic worker is not returning as agreed, or ever. Makes me feel slightly overwhelmed: house, work, kids… ± daunting.

Eventually I ran myself a lemon grass bathe and lay there with my sore body……and decided I need to go out. See other things and people as I started feeling sad missing the kids and walking does help my inflammation.

I came to Norwood to beat the blues and join the Jews, and to be perfectly honest after slowly making my way round for an hour, I don’t feel well enough to drive this minute, so here I am sitting with my legs propped up for the pain behind a pole in hiding at the Mugg and Bean, waiting to feel at least semi normal for the real short drive home. Was hoping the Jacobsons will walk past so I can see baby Faith but I am out of luck there.

Okay…. Laytah.
Wenchy

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry by Wenchy from the second cloud on your left .

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11 thoughts on “I am loosing my mind, but if you need me…. I am right here.

  1. I’m concerned. Has a diagnosis ever been made re: this inflammatory illness? (Maybe could help zero in on a more effective treatment.) Positively dreadful, that is.

    Of your house, you paint such a word picture. Despite the flaws it does come across as “home.”

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  2. Awww, Im sorry you are not feeling lekker…
    Now if you had told me you were there we would have made a plan 😉
    Please please pop past me if you can, Im home pretty much all day every day, would love to make you a cuppa tea/coffee and you can coo over Faith as much as you like!! 🙂

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  3. I hope that you’re feeling better today. You cherish the fact that you woke up next to your hubby. After 10 years, I still cherish every day that I can wake up next to my hubby – I consider myself lucky and blessed by God for this 🙂

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  4. Waking up to you so often is a blessing but my favourite is falling asleep next to you.

    Sorry about your pain. Wish I could do something. I feel helpless.

    Love you more than life.

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