... a bit of that

Where do I begin to tell my story?

I loved Christmas time when I was a child but my Mom had extra special powers in her grief the December my father died and cancelled Christmas.

As years passed a token effort was made but it was only when my son Kevin was born over 17 years later that I found I too had special powers and could reinstate Christmas any time I wanted.

I did.

I also found Jesus and together we did Christmas in a dashing tra la la through the sun, since we have no snow, until the breakdown of my second marriage years ago.

Jesus left or I left him with my divorce decree but I continued a bit of a ho ho ho [actually that is crap I did not have sex for a fucking long time after the ending of my marriage, so no ho ho ho here!] Christmas magic for the sake of the kids.

This year was the first year I felt I couldn’t even keep a little magic alive. Nothing. Yes, all six our children received gifts, we bought tiny gifts for those around us and my husband and I exchanged gifts.

There were no huge decorations and Christmas light as the years before….and I felt pretty crap about it, but I was honest with my own children and they understood that Mom is a little lost but loves them more than kichel. I really love that my kids have depth, compassion and empathy…and knows to offer tea when the mother appears more mental than usual! They rock.

The children all left after Christmas to spend the remainder of the holidays with their other parents.

{It amuses me that the other parent don’t realise that as much as kids share about one household [or in our fucked up case two], they share about the other so you get to understand each household has their good, bad, fantastic and totally bonkers moments. Nobody is perfect after all! ….and once you realise this is removes thinking you need to be the perfect parent pretending you always know what the right thing is to do or how to act! So much energy wasted lol. Anyway…..}

With my husband and I now alone having the opportunity for loads load sex and kinky hereditary illnesses…. new year was knocking on the door.

For some reason it reminds me of the story of the blood on the door posts to save the first born son from the bad ass death spirit in the Bible, well…. I am the Pastors first born grand daughter you know….and actually have a fair knowledge or the Bible, church and running from it.

I can tell you 2010 can lick my large white exfoliated vanilla smelling ass but I wanted it to pass thanks very much. Besides the truly most awesome romantic wedding on the top of a mountain, it was crap! So by all means, kill off the bad spirited 2010!

Since my small hereditary illness has been kicking my ass this week, as well as my Mom having a stroke [I don’t wanna talk about it], I did not feel very murder on the dance floor like.

With my body covered in blue blobs, I lay in bed while my husband cooked steak for dinner. He is a winner husband. Truly.

Btw, we did go earlier in the day to buy the steak. I hanging in a sexy provocative geriatric way on top the trolley like I was at least 92 with beautiful Clinique lipstick. It was sore to walk dammit.

IF I had a bedazzelled cane I would have moered Noid for saying I walk like an old lady!!!! Just mentioning.

So on the last night of 2010, as my husband cooked and looked helpless when I cried in pain, I thought how pathetic many of us are thinking that as midnight comes, our resolutions of eating healthy, going to gym, not ever shouting at our kids, walking on the sunny side of the street, calling our mothers more often, giving more blowjobs and drinking at least ten glasses of water is.

In truth new year, new starts, new beginnings is whenever you choose them to be. There is no magic clock strikes midnight. [Hence: Elope!] We are the clock and we can ding dong dell whenever we want to or we can just keep on ticking like we always do.

Well, I was one of those who always felt great excitement at the start of a new year. Yay! I get to start again, I get another chance! Like everything would be shining and new. World peace for everyone and FHM model I would be.

Until last night when I realised you only need a new year to start to get new medical aid benefits, go to a new grade at school, have a birthday party or plan a lucky legs eleven Thanksgiving……the rest is all stuff we can change any time we wish really and is not dependant on a new year starting.

So, as always…. I wish you enough.

Enough medical savings to last the year, a birthday as you like it, successful studies {especially as my son Kev is in matric this year! Bloody hell and I am only 14!}……..but more than that I wish you enough courage to make the changes you feel necessary to create happiness within yourself this year.

I may wanna stop sleeping with this Paulo Coelho dude. *wink*

Wenchy

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry by Wenchy from the second cloud on your left .

7 thoughts on “Where do I begin to tell my story?”

  1. Lol. I love this post. Giggling to myself. Thanks for reminding us that we are in charge and as you said it’s all up to us.

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  2. Here’s to a wonderful 2011 where things get more proper every day and we have many happy, pain free, awesome days, happy with our kids.

    I can like to believe this will be a great year in many ways (with setbacks as that is life after all) where we respond to all from a good place and we handle and get past the “bad” days.

    I love you and wish you MORE than enough every day

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  3. Oh you make me smile, you beautiful person!
    Hugs that you’re having a rough week (())
    Cannot believe you typed this whole post using your little BB!! That’s seriously impressive!

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  4. I thought of you during the holidays when I saw purple Christmas decorations in @Home. A bit random, I know, but I promise it was in a completely un-stalker, not-crazy-at-all way.

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  5. Kevin is in matric!? When did THAT happen?

    I wish you enough too. And I totally agree with New Year and deciding that 1 Jan things will change, when 1 Jan you are still hung over and on holiday and actually New Year means 3 January. Then you realize you can just as well wait until the kids are in school and you end up being just like last year.
    lol

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