Step up onto the scale

I am battling with the weight and exercise thing. BADLY. Perhaps because I did so well for so long in sticking to regular exercise and loosing a respectful amount of weight, I now feel like I am failure cause I don’t seem able to keep it together.

I wanna drown how I feel with stuffing the emotion out with food… am loving a bit of a biscuit!!

I eat because I miss Noid and I am lonely, I eat because I worry about money, or I am exhausted by work demands so eat to feel it is gonna be okay… my insomnia is also getting to me, I am not sleeping enough, or for an extended period….

Exercise seems an exhausting activity. I would rather have a sleep, I am bloody tired… but it simply isn’t good enough!!! I am fucking disappointed in myself.

I need to get back to eating less {and make better choices} exercising more and drinking water!!! I need to feel good enough and it is something only I can do for myself.

On the plus side =

I have a husband who adores me. As I type this, he has gone in search of cauliflower because I said I feel like it. I didn’t ask, I didn’t hint… He just got up and said he will go get me some. I am not pregnant or sick or even down…. He just does so many things for me…just because. I love him very much.

My kids are good…. my job is great…anxiety and depression wise I am doing okay, actually life overall is looking seriously promising … as much as I know I am not defined by this body … for me to feel good enough – I have to kick this body image demons ass…

I am so much bigger than being the fat girl.

PS. I ate a lovely packet of heart shaped biscuits {while typing this} that my Mom in law got me because I mentioned my craving for biscuits…. I am however feeling properly guilty and am off to get some water, and maybe more sex can count as exercise?

See, all is not lost!! 🙂

Posted by WεηchƔ with WordPress for BlackBerry from the second cloud on your left.

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “Step up onto the scale

  1. Dave says:

    Sometimes it’s so much effort, to keep going- I’m impressed with how well you do though!
    (oh, and sex *totally* counts as exercise!)

    Like

  2. SirNoid says:

    We all love you just the way you are!

    If you feel for losing more weight then it can be done. I am in the same boat as you but struggling to commit!

    Love You

    Like

  3. I so know your feeling of not able to get your butt into gear and start exercising again. I felt like this many times in the past and I am sure you will get back onto the wagon any time soon.
    I know you CAN.

    Like

  4. M says:

    🙂 oh me too. me too. The only thing that ever works for me is to toss all the junk and only keep in the cupboards what I may eat. No chips, no choc, no temptations. Tough luck for the kids – they must eat healthy with me or starve. Even my handbag has little woolies packs of dried fruit so that the lazy in me just eats the prunes cos it is closer. 😦

    Like

  5. You’ve got all my sympathy! I am right there with you! We know what to do, and how to do it! But we don’t do it… I have “started” with a Patrick Holford health plan last month, but my scale does not reflect it… Must be something to do with those cookies! 😉 (And it does not make me feel good about myself! ;-( )

    Like

  6. Daniela says:

    As I see it, you need to have SO much compassion for yourself and to be SO nice to yourself. Now is obviously not the time to beat up on yourself & try to starve yourself! You have so many other issues going on right now. Changing your lifestyle is a big thing, and should only be done when you’re in a strong mental state. For now, I would eat and realise that this is not the time to lose weight and to leave it at that and to have so much love for the little girl inside of you who is hungry! Treat her as you would your daughter. xxxx

    Like

  7. Adele says:

    I had a teacher come see me this morning about my son’s behaviour in class … and guess what I’ve done all day? Emotional eating … cheated on Weigh Less really bad, simba chips, russian roll and many more. My healthy lunch has not been touched 😦

    Like

I'd love to hear from you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s