Learning (Gratitude 31/150)

Minutes flows into hours, hours become days and soon weeks have passed.

It is an odd place living in limbo. I am on sick leave with few answers past the immediate. Leaves me stranded in making plans for the future, not that I have plans to make, places to go or many people to see. Well, certainly not in the immediate!

I have always enjoyed the thought of looking forward to something, having a plan, a target. Targets is what keeps the bi polar me more focussed. Right now I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and the happiness it brings me every year. I need something to look forward to like a drug. Most bipolar people I speak to feel similarly. You need to keep seeing a future and life abundantly. Is hard being mentally disturbed you know :p LOL

« Some random bits »

  • Noid and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary which fell on Heritage day this past weekend with friends and family. All the Waltons kids were with us, except Nic who is writing exams at varsity.
  • It all turned out well although some things I had planned I forgot all about and they never happened
  • We had losa cupcakes made by my friend Jax which disappeared in seconds, a huge ice cream cake from trustworthy Bassetts in good old Germiston with a wedding picture. Noid’s Mom made krummelpap for the braai which was so good – I ate kerummelpap for the first time in my life! My fabulous, glitter friend, Will {every girl needs a gay friend as an accessory! :p } made his by now famous biscuits with our original tattoo that Noid and I share on them, and smiley heart faces for the kids. All delicious, fun and fabulous! I love our new home which makes entertaining so effortless.
  • Kathy Raven and dear Graeme played the blues and oh my soul, the beauty of Kathy’s voice!…and Graeme very clearly an accomplished musician.
  • Kev later joined in and played guitar and much to my surprise played and sang Mr Jones all by himself. I was so incredibly proud!!! My liewe sussie, Rentia also sang awesome and it was home grown beautiful.
  • By evening I could not move but I had a really fabulous time!
  • We now have two kittens, Lady Cayte is 16 weeks and Countessa Gina is 8 weeks. I can’t believe I became a cat lady! I am driving my husband nuts with matching bowls, injections and the likes. Good thing we never had a baby.
  • Liam James has started at a new school. Still private, still tiny classes, still expensive but a teaching method he appears to respond better to.
  • I started a round of 24 weeks of chemo yesterday. No bomiting, but extreme fatigue so far. Let’s see how next week go.
  • Because of the steroids also being used, my doctor told me I can forget about losing weight in the next 24 weeks, when I once again requested that I would like to look thin and gaunt. They seriously think I am joking. I am not! {In reality gaining or not loosing weight scares me like a midnight axe murder nightmare. Am already so down right attractive you know….. Sigh}
  • Kev has finished prelims and has his matric dance this weekend.
  • The kids are on a short week long holiday so we have them for a long weekend and their other parents have them for a long weekend. I am so happy because I have to drop and fetch and sometimes I am in pain and is bloody sore to push the clutch in. Generally small things that hurt that add up to a big thing!
  • I have been loving my new car!!! Oh is awesome. Now people can swear at me by name in traffic! Hahahhaa! Every time I see the car with it is cute number plate I smile! ….even giggle.
  • Our housekeeper, Elisa has not been herself lately and eventually when we confronted her, she wanted to go back home. Then she changed her mind but her performance has been less than satisfactory so a hunting for a new housekeeper we have gone. New lady starting on Monday, hopefully she is a keeper. I don’t like change.
  • My neck pain is driving me insane.
  • I love these vitamin waters! Expensive but oh so fabulous.
  • I am happy rugby world cup fever did make it to South Africa, although not as big as the soccer world cup. I am loving my bokke shirts, but I did buy an All Blacks shirt for when they play cause black is slimming, the haka is orgasmic and the tattoos is a huge plus.
  • I would like a new tattoo on my left foot…. Ivy and yellow roses, an elaboration on what is already there.
  • I had another horrific month with Tranquil Body Treats just not selling. It is such an awesome product!
  • If you into crime novels do read “The Whisperer” by Donato Carrisi. I couldn’t put it down! Really fantastic.
  • Currently reading James Patterson’s “Now you see her” which I am also enjoying.

    Okay then, all I can think of for now….

    I wish you enough,

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  • The final Honeymoon of our first year of marriage Day 4 final (Gratitude 30/150)

    Day 4… and the end of pamper Princess is in sight.

    After breakfast I went for my final treatment, reflexology. It was like having your health read via your feet. I stuck with the same therapist and she was amazing. She immediately picked up on my spinal issues, my neck that I cannot hold up for hours on end, she told me about my digestive system not being proper and a host of other bits. I found it highly amusing and informative.

    I was just back in my usual resting spot with my book when Noid’s parents arrived round 12pm. We had invited them to join us for the carvery lunch. The food was really lovely and it was totally relaxing. We drank tea and chatted under the trees until we said goodbye.

    Noid and I packed up and arrived home round 7pm. A wonderful long weekend it had been!

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    The final Honeymoon of our first year of marriage Day 3 (Gratitude 29/150)

    Sjoe. Day 3 is a total blur!

    We had breakfast in the pub with our Sprinbok shirts on like everyone around us to watch the early morning match and eat.

    The aim for the day was to get my favourite therapist, Sophie to give my dear husband a pedicure. It was a battle let me tell you. He didn’t want any of it, but in the end I think he did enjoy it!

    I had one treatment, a manicure scheduled for very late afternoon so I lay in one spot in the spa reading, drinking mostly water, having lunch, swam with Noid and sat in the steam room with him…… I also slept!

    He watched rugby, lay on the sundeck, steamed and swam and I knew nothing of it…. I slept until my treatment!

    We had supper which was yum….. and returning to the room I was in agony, my stomach was in such pain! I had eno’s, ulsanic, prescription meds for my ulcer, citrosoda, bloody anything I could think off and the pain stayed. Not fun….. I did not sleep well and continued taking medication throughout the night. If you can overdose on eno’s and the like, I must have. It was a HORRIBLE night. Yuck!

    In the morning I felt tender on the stomach, but hugely better than the night before! Yay!! for that.

    I am so grateful I pack a mean medicine case. Prescription mostly! 🙂

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    The final Honeymoon of our first year of marriage Day 2 (Gratitude 28/150)

    Cherishing every moment alone with Noid. I do love him so lots.

    We had a typical hotel style breakfast today while reading matching newspapers. Made me think we look very colonial English! 🙂

    I spent the day lying on a fanTy bench in the spa drinking water, while my husband made his way to Pecanwood for some golf. He did ask me to join him and his friends, but instead I had a lymph drainage massage and a pamper pedicure with hot wax and a good book {on recommendation of my NEW friend, Natasha I am reading “The Whisperer” by Donato Carrisi” which I am enjoying very much}.

    I really love the hot wax bit and although the lymph drainage massage was sore in places it wasn’t close to what I was imagining! The therapist worked on two major knots down my spine OUCH and I could actually feel them go. She had to skip my right hand as that joint is simply too sore to massage. Yes, the headache was immediate so I take it I was full of toxins.

    It was a most relaxing day with humour provided by Liam James who stayed over at Jax’s last night {he thinks Jax is hot!}. I spoke to Liam James on the phone and he gave me the run down.

    Since Connor (9) is just a baby Liam James (15) {both have ADHD, classic text book behavior, both are bonkers, Connor just likes glitter more!}, I told Jax to feel free to drug the kids randomly or sell to passing gypsy’s.

    Apparently Connor woke Liam James during the night and asked Liam James if he woke up because of a nightmare…. to which Liam James replied “Connor, you are the nightmare.” Jax and I laughed lots!

    Liam James also apologised to me for “being a Connor when he was small”. I laughed and wondered when his apology for the crap he gets up to now will come! LOL He also said “poor Jaxie” who still has many years till Con is big.

    He also told me that Jax’s Dad only pretends to be a grumpy old man but he is actually a cuddly bear. Hahahah I have known Jax ten years and her Dad is yet to recognise or greet me. LOL

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    The final Honeymoon of our first year of marriage Day 1 (Gratitude 27/150)

    My husband told me about a week ago that he has two days leave and to find somewhere to go that is not too far to drive and reasonably priced. I suggested Mpumalanga as we have not been there together, but he said is to far and my pain is unpredictable.

    Then I thought about Sparkling Waters. I have been coming here since Kev was little, but Noid and I came here for a weekend two weeks after our relationship started. It was a suitably dirty, sexy weekend {Yay!!}, we drank too much {I sweated out the alcohol the following morning in the steam room hahhahaha} and lay on the ground looking at the stars with strangers we met in the pub, so a winner weekend all round as far as wanting to feel alive goes!

    Fast forward, «almost» four years and so much has happened. Good, wonderful things and not so desirable bits had swept over our paths …The Waltons were born, we eloped after breaking up, we lost friends, gained new ones, we survived living separately for eight months and flourished once relocated and reunited as a blended family… only to find new challenges awaiting us.

    Me wanting a cat {huge surprise as I am very scared of animals} and me being diagnosed with AS after many tests, creating havoc with our vision of our future both financially and my personal worth as a professional member of a team. {How one defines oneself is currently a leading topic of self discovery inside me head.}

    Anyhow, with our first wedding anniversary a week away, I booked our accommodation and arranged a room scattered with rose petals, champagne and orange juice, a drink I love! …not sure my medication is going to allow much, but just for today….

    This has been a good week pain wise. One particularly crappy painful day, but the rest have been manageable. There was one day I slept from 8pm. I get tired easily.

    We arrived after 3pm and I think Noid was suitably surprised with a room with rose petals everywhere. We unpacked, read, threw rose petals around. Buffet dinner, very nice and we sat watching a Neil Diamond concert were I was draped over the coach as my hip bones were now sore. Had a hot bath, took pain meds, and kept waking up..

    So far this morning my usual pain is alive with pain and stiffness. Will take it easy today.

    xxx Wenchy xxx

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