... a bit of that

Some words remain…

Nothing like a wet, stormy night with wind whistling around the corners to ignite the passion of soul searching.

I am reading a book in which a woman shoots and kills her elderly step-father who had sexually and emotionally abused her as a teenager, and later her younger sister.

When her younger sister commits suicide as an adult, the woman kills their abuser.

She hands herself over to the police immediately, admitting her guilt. When asked repeatedly if she regretted her actions, she says she had no choice. She had to kill him.
Premeditated. She planned her actions and killed someone who had caused her to die inside and change the course of her life and her belief about herself.

My 1st step-father was a drunk. A man with money, his own business, a pretty wife, a lovely home and a luxury car – but a drunk asshole. He would occasionally be drunk enough to climb into the wrong bed. He would grope and I remember feeling plain irritation as I would shout for my Mom to please fetch him.

We didn’t get along – ever. I hated how he treated my Mom and how he gave and retracted attention from my sister. He was a self-centred ass. There were daily screaming matches. Between us with language any sailor would admire. It was the breakfast of champions, served cold. I hated him.

Someone once said to me that I didn’t mind his money. You know what? He could never compensate me enough for what he did.

The things he said to me changed my perception of life. Who I was, who I could become, and how a naïve young girl believed his LIES. I think even if he paid me in gold daily, all the days of his life, he could never repay me what he had taken.

I clearly didn’t kill him. I just wanted to get as far away from him as possible but I don’t blame the girl in the book and I do understand why she felt she had to kill him.

My Mom divorced him when I left school but I couldn’t wash his words off me. I felt relieved when he died years later – alone. Dare I write I was happy?

(Book: “Die staat teen Anna Bruwer.” Anchien Troskie as Elbie Lotter)

Posted by Wenchy♥ from the second cloud on your left with WordPress for BlackBerry.

8 thoughts on “Some words remain…”

  1. My stepdad and i fight like that, we still do. I dislike him with a passion and how it’s always me he picks on and goes after. Gah. Fairytales are right… Theres no such thing as a great step parent

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  2. He got what he deserved on some levels but people like this should be shot, no that is too painless> They should be tortured, castrated and then beaten to death.

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  3. SoOs die beste boek ooit daai! Even though ek dit nog nie self gelEes nie klink dit awesome, ek het dis ek AnnA gelees en moet net die opvolg ook lees. ❤ Wench

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  4. i dont visit often, but when i do, i catch up on previous months. Clearly 🙂

    My ex husband sounds like your step-fathers twin. Just before our divorce was final (obviously living apart), his friend called me at 5am one morning to say that my ex just tried to hang himself – and my first thought? “wow, you couldn’t even get THAT right”

    No sense of relief for me unfortunately

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