I am not truly sure how you mourn something you never really had, but (I) some do.
The white picket fence ends for every one of us who got divorced with kids. Those who divorced before having children, still have a chance in my head, but I can’t speak for them.
Once your fence is shattered you deal with visitation, maintenance, maybe a new l♡ve, a job with the real life burden of supporting your kids, alone, your shattered heart…. eventually his kids, your kids and even our kids. You had one shot. (Insert Eminem song here) It is gone.
You never going to be the high school sweetheart, met, married, have 2.5 kids, a dog and a mortgage from hell. You never all going to have the same surname. Whoever you l♡ve next, may carry pieces of their own broken fence – kids, an x person. All of the relationships needs constant work. It may or may not pay off.
You going to be a step somebody and your partner may be a step somebody. You and your partner, may like, care or l♡ve your step kids. The children may never care for you or for your children. In most circumstances, the best you can hope for is manners and acceptance.
Eventually your kids, his kids and if you have our kids – they all grow up. The start their own quest for the white picket fence. Now, that is exceptionally difficult. I feel too young to have to deal with that. Life doesn’t care. It carries on.
Believe me, the echo in your head is a prayer for the un-believing, always searching for how you can plaster and paint your white picket fence of many colours.
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