Nocturnal Wenchy

African Hips Don't Lie

A life made from lego.

I am not truly sure how you mourn something you never really had, but (I) some do.

The white picket fence ends for every one of us who got divorced with kids. Those who divorced before having children, still have a chance in my head, but I can’t speak for them.

Once your fence is shattered you deal with visitation, maintenance, maybe a new l♡ve, a job with the real life burden of supporting your kids, alone, your shattered heart…. eventually his kids, your kids and even our kids. You had one shot. (Insert Eminem song here) It is gone.

You never going to be the high school sweetheart, met, married, have 2.5 kids, a dog and a mortgage from hell. You never all going to have the same surname. Whoever you l♡ve next, may carry pieces of their own broken fence – kids, an x person. All of the relationships needs constant work. It may or may not pay off.

You going to be a step somebody and your partner may be a step somebody. You and your partner, may like, care or l♡ve your step kids. The children may never care for you or for your children. In most circumstances, the best you can hope for is manners and acceptance.

Eventually your kids, his kids and if you have our kids – they all grow up. The start their own quest for the white picket fence. Now, that is exceptionally difficult. I feel too young to have to deal with that. Life doesn’t care. It carries on.

Believe me, the echo in your head is a prayer for the un-believing, always searching for how you can plaster and paint your white picket fence of many colours.

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12 responses to “A life made from lego.”

  1. Wow! What else is there to say?? As ever I love your way of expressing yourself. (((((((Hugs))))))))


  2. I so easily forget how lucky I am to have met my Q so early in my life, and that I don’t have as much baggage as others. ❤


  3. I so easily forget how lucky I am to have met my Q so early in my life, and that I don’t have as much baggage as others. ❤


  4. Lego is not that cool. When you step on a piece of those plastic building blocks, it hurts like hell! Maybe there is no need for a fence. Or maybe my *Silver Fence* will be the modern fence that will work for everyone. We shall give it a go in a few years (about 10 – 15) time, and maybe we will include a purple gate?


  5. aeroplanejane avatar

    Love the broken fence analogy. Sometimes things got to be broken to be better 🙂


  6. Beautifully written.


  7. I understand completely. As of February 4th, I am legally divorced: I have the papers… I feel like quite the failure right now,and that everything I have done in the past many years has been all for naught… I wish things could have been different. xxx


  8. “Life” has things in it we all have to deal with and while fences might be broken and have damages they can be mended.

    Time is the healer of all things and we are young and strong and we are choosing correctly based on our current reality every day.

    These choices help us to grow and as we learn and grow our choices may change but we need to react from our reality and then live with the consequences of those choices and then move forward.

    The fences will be fine.


  9. So very well written. In all honesty even us who looks like we have that picket fence may not. We may hav kids with problems and the burdens that place, histories if we married later in life. Whatever.


  10. no wonder life is so damn complex. i think i tripped over the picket fence one stormy nocturnal time, and life has never been the same since. some amazing new encounters, passions. and some awe full dark dungeons. thanks for depicting life a lot more clearly.


  11. “What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.” Remember that?


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About Me

Mom to many, wife to SirNoid. Lover of water, walks in the shade and all things purple.

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