Shattered Lives

Shattered Lives : The story of Advocate BarbieShattered Lives : The story of Advocate Barbie by Laurie Pieters, Liezl Thom

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The book captures the saga surrounding the relationship between Cezanne Visser and Dirk Prinsloo. A sordid tale of a mousey girl with a brilliant mind but low self-esteem. Cezanne comes across as naïve and dazzled by the very successful and charismatic sexual predator we find in Dirk Prinsloo. Both Advocates, one could be forgiven to think that they would be esteemed, moral and fulfilling the laws of the land. Church goers even.

As other people in the book said, what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom (bathroom, kitchen or any other space really) have my blessing, but exploiting young children, desperate woman and prowling for prostitutes just doesn’t fall into my scope of approval.

The book covers the story of the different people whom they interacted with in terms of staff, young girls and woman they either molested or paid for sex. It describes their home and the amount of publications of porn displayed all over the house, digital porn as well as pornographic images of children as a place that would have Lolly Jackson look like a Pope. Celibate. Never touched a nipple. Descriptions are quite vivid in places.

The pictures in the book are quite explicit in terms of nudity of Cezanne who does not appear to be a battered woman to me. Perhaps a woman who got fell in love and lust… and when it got harder to keep to the straight and narrow, and in order to hang onto her perverse lover, threw caution to the wind and indulged in all things possible to cling to her man. I do think she must have enjoyed the attention of men everywhere, the media “personality” her dear man was trying to create and going from church mouse to blonde bombshell. Who wouldn’t? I felt just a pinch of pity for her once or twice.

The sexual deeds and misconduct described in newspapers and in the book, I am not sure if a seven year jail sentence is adequate. Cezanne does not appear to feel or show great remorse in her part of sexually abusing young girls, and the trauma caused to the characters is so deep seated and painful. I felt pity to their domestic worker who I am sure did not sign up to be washing sexual toys as part of her day. Prinsloo flee to Russia as is currently in jail for robbing a bank. By the time he gets back to South Africa to face these charges, Cezanne should be out of jail.

Overall, I would give the book a 3 star rating because it gave insight into the people wronged, their lives, how they got involved, got out… or sadly died. The book has a spelling error in the first couple of pages. No real chapters, but paragraphs just randomly starting on a new page. The book could have done with more proof reading! The reason this really annoyed me, was that I had paid R200 for my copy from PNA and I expect at least a spell check and proper layout for that price! I do like that the various behavioural and mental issues are explained at the end of the book as well as contact details should you feel after reading this book that you may be in an abuse situation.

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…pix mix sweets


My life is very “Lion King” singing a loud rendition of “The circle of life” acapella – a haunting echo through empty spaces and minds.

Everything happened to fast. Steady boyfriend, marriage, budgets, home loans, babies, divorces. Repeat and rinse. Repear and rinse… Need I continue? Liam James started running at 9 months. Why walk if you can run right?

Here I am. Almost 40 and the empty nest season settled with a big gush. No kids living with Noid and I full time. Weekend visits that passes too soon.

I am learning to cook for two. I could have left out the “for two” bit. LOL

We are busy relocating to a smaller place as two people are lost in a four bed roomed house. Neither of us want a pool nor a garden. Noid wants DSTV. I want books and rooibos tea. Settled.

We have outgrown family garments that no longer fit and have embraced a new design which, not being familiar, does not fit all that well as yet, giving way to the silent world of tears.

Thankfully smiles too.

I wish you enough time,

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The Semicolon Project

Dear reader,

My daughter, Victoria (13) is an avid activist even if she is not aware of it as yet. I have watched her take on issues and raise awareness on the platforms available to her – somehow reminding me of Eva Peron as I always tease Victoria about her the way she wears her hair. 🙂 She speaks out over many issues that touches her with confidence and conviction. Be it in a school environment (where she has only just started High School), in a social media setting and in personal interaction.

Over the weekend she spoke to me about the semicolon project. I could certainly identify with her words and once I googled it, I wish today I had the means to go and ink a semicolon on my wrist because it indeed sums up so many days and experience in my life… and in hers.

So today, please be aware and encourage one another. You may not know the road the person next to you  is travelling.

On April 16th anyone who struggles with self harm, is suicidal, is depressed, has anxiety, is unhappy, going through a broken heart, lost a loved one, etc. draw a semicolon on your wrist (;)

A semicolon represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to…The author is you and the sentence is your life.


Thank you Chicken. Mom loves you so very much.

I wish you enough,


Train insane or stay the same

“Never discourage anyone…..who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.” – Plato

Hello my friends,

You know in a horror movie when the girl is in the shower and the killer is walking up the stairs? We scream “Look behind you!” as we can see the neon sign with flashing lights above the bathroom door screaming “VICTIM HERE!”?

That is very similar to the fat girl joining the gym.


We signed up at @virginactiveSA gяєєиѕтσиє when Liberty Life launched their “Own Your Life” product end November 2012.

As I am by no means a small or average size girl, I expected to feel rather out of place and self concious. I felt very aware of my body and its limitations. The truth is very different.

So what did I find it is like as the fat girl in a busy, mainstream gym?

* If you are not the cute girl with the tight pant with the ponytail (some even sport make-up!), don’t worry. Nobody else does. Honestly.

* Put your ear phones on and just do your thing. No slow dancing with the moon music! You need up tempo angry chick kinda music. LOL Pink works well for me.

* Bring a bottle of water. I have a 750 ml bottle and it is finished in an hour. I wouldn’t mind a bigger bottle.

* There are trained staff to help you. Ask! Pace yourself. I started off doing 20 minutes of cardio (bike/treadmill etc). Start slow and build. I now do 60 – 80 minutes of cardio and sweat till my clothes are wet. THAT makes me feel kinda bad ass. LOL

* You must bring a sweat towel, it is the right thing to do. I sweat like a pig, although I have personally never seen a pig sweat! You need that sweat towel to wipe your brow, but also to leave equipment hygienic for the next user. There are however many cleaning staff that spray (no spit) and polish each machine after each user. It is very proper.

* I have found a packed gym to be less social than a deserted grave yard. The only time people truly interacted with me, is when the staff at the front desk swipe my membership card.

* The one exception to the above is when I wore a shirt that revealed more ink. Always the same question: Did it hurt?

** Answer: Off course it hurt! You are paying someone (in my case, Brent 076 914 7030) to use their creative skill to cause socially acceptable mutilation in a pretty pattern and/or colour. So YES, taking an sharp object, cutting your skin and injecting ink – hurts! (Why *I* personally ink, is another blog post on its own.)

* Men remain friendlier to me and may *smile* kinda in recognition that you see each other often at the same time. Woman, not so much.

* On the weights floor, big boys dominate. I find the showing off big boys annoying. They are like little kids who keep wanting you to say how fabulous they are each time they do an action. Ugh! I prefer the section with no light action telling you to move to the next machine. You find more humane people (mostly male) there who is also just doing the best they can.

* I have not ventured into any class situation. Don’t have the confidence for that… So I have not done water aerobics, yoga etc. Hopefully one day!

* The ladies change room is a funny place! Black ladies are far more confident than any other race and in my opinion much prettier. Everyone else tries to kinda hide unless they FHM material. I can with confidence tell you that FHM material are few and far between when nakkid with no make-up. Most woman are flawed. Hallelujah! Okay everyone didn’t go to town with the concept like me, but real, naked woman look nothing like the movies!

* I am not a sauna fan, but I l♡ve the steam room. My skin looks better and my sinus feels better. I always seem to have some or other sinus issue!

* I pack hotel size shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash and a great big towel. I often forget my hairbrush so I look kinda windswept when I leave.

* I find tracking my visits and what I did on that particular day helpful. There are facilities to track via PC, so at the end of my visit, that is the last thing I do.

* There is a creche for small kids but I can give no feedback on that as my kids are now big.

* ….oh and a small organic type outlet for smoothies and such. Just a tad expensive.

There you have it. 🙂

I wish you enough,

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