Anxiety – @SADAG

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

Some say (flashback: The Stig) one does not admit to these subjects in public. What if your clients suddenly believe you are incompetent? What if people think less of you? If that is so,  it is their ignorance and not my inability to be real.

Anyone who regularly reads my blog knows that I deal with excessive anxiety on a daily basis. It never goes away.  It dulls at times,  but it never truly leaves.

I’ve been on and off meds since I was 14 when diagnosed. Nothing you can tell me about the condition,  it’s treatment or the influence it has on your daily life.

I am really battling at the moment.  I wake up with my skin crawling and I go to bed feeling like my breathing is constricted. 

Nothing has to happen for this feeling to be heightened. It is not based on events.  It is almost my default emotion.  It isn’t fun.  It doesn’t make me unique or special or dysfunctional.  It simply is. 

Everything I have achieved in my life was with this feeling present.  Every failure in my life happened with this emotion present. 

I don’t really know a different base line. Medication takes the edge off (for which we are truly thankful), talking helps,  accepting yourself as you are,  all helps.

In myself, I am really happy.  My husband loves me,  my kids are good,  I am well provided for,  I am steadily decreasing the size of my ass…. I enjoy what I do. 2014 was an awesome year.  2015 shows amazing promise.

Perhaps today,  as people start going back to work and life resumes as normal with schools returning etc,  I want to encourage others not to always believe what you think,  to ask for help if you need it and to be true to yourself.

Your self worth is not determined by others opinion of you.

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

One thought on “Anxiety – @SADAG

  1. Dearest Wenchy, the bit that really resonated with me was to not always believe what we think. Our thoughts and emotions are not us, and are not always real. Learning that has helped me so much over the last year.
    My wish for you is that you feel safe.
    XX

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