Nocturnal Wenchy

African Hips Don't Lie

The ultimate freedom.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

We want to be liked. We want to be love, and be loved. We want to be included. We want to be needed. We want to be accepted as we are. We want to be pinned to a wall and kissed until we are breathless. Okay, maybe that last one was just me.

Very often we say “Yes”, when we actually want to say scream “No”.  We do not want to be rude,  perhaps inconsiderate or offend. We dont want to miss out, so we say “Yes” to a task, a favour, an event …. when we wanted to say “No”.

Sometimes we end up having a great time! We may learn something new or meet amazing people. You never know …. You could also end up resenting being on the roster for the school cake sale again with the nosy mom who is always fishing for information.  True story.


I read a long time ago that declining an invitation without an explanation is the ultimate freedom. I yearned to do just that without feeling guilty or have all the reasons above as to why we say “Yes!” just tumbling in my head.

There is nothing wrong with saying “Thank you, but not tonight Josephine.” or something to that effect – right?

I wish you enough,

3 responses to “The ultimate freedom.”

  1. Nothing wrong with it at all! Very liberating!


    1. It is rather! May be easier to do as one gets older?


  2. It took me the longest time to realise that I could say no to people without feeling guilty. I used to justify turning down invitations. Time scheduled for myself was always pushed to the back of the queue in favour of a guilt-date but the day I started learning that saying “I can’t I’m busy” required no further explanation, was the day my world changed.Sometimes you just have to say no.


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About Me

Mom to many, wife to SirNoid. Lover of water, walks in the shade and all things purple.

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