Missing you comes in waves. Tonight I’m drowning.

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My liefste Oupa Mike,

Sometimes I am consumed by overwhelming joy, just because of how you loved me. Sometimes I see Frisco coffee or Turkish Delight and am able to smile in gratitude and remembrance. Other times objects, sounds and memories is a raw, open wound.

To you I had no faults. If there were, you would make light of them as if such things could never taint me. I was beautiful, funny, talented and you always reminded me how proud you are of me. I never truly felt I deserved your praise…. but I loved bathing in your reflection of me.

Tonight the years since we lost you to death feels like decades. I want to bury my face in your chest,  cry and you would stroke my hair and kiss my forehead. I miss you intensely. I hope my life brings you some pride…. and a bit of a brag. 🙂

The only thing worse than my own heartache is seeing my Mammie in so much emotional pain.  I envy Mammie for she had you longer, but her ache for you leaves me breathless. I feel helpless.

I hope my impact on people when I leave this reality will be as profound.  I would have achieved much, if I touched people the way you did.

Baie lief vir Oupa….en dankie.
Stel x

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