I grew up in a very strict and traditional Afrikaans home. Can you imagine my surprise when I was finding my female teachers as sexy as the boys did! My friends were looking at and discussing other boys, and I looked at their girlfriends! Oh dear. I did not dare say a word.
In my innocence I didn’t even know what people like me was called. In Standard 8 (Grade 10) I found out what I was and also realised that my parents and brother can’t stand people like me. I never played with dolls or dreamed of big weddings, I liked welding and building and carpentry, but in all of this, loved being a woman.
I lived with my secret in silence till the age of 32, when I finally told my Mom. She was very clear. “I need you to stay out of my life”. So, I did. Having allowed myself to have a partner for the first time, I realised exactly how many people do not like “our type” very much.
I dress like other woman, wear make-up like other woman, love beautiful lingerie like other woman, yet got treated differently. I found it heart-breaking at first, because I have a weakness, people. I absolutely love and adore people, any people. I find them beautiful and amazing. There is nothing better in the world, than loving people, no matter what flaws they might have; they are all absolutely beautiful works of art. Finding myself not being accepted by so many of them, was hard to deal with.
It amazed me when I realised that so many people think it is a choice you make. If it was a choice, I would definitely not choose to be frowned upon by so many. It just is, and always was, right from the beginning of my life.
My mom contacted me again after a few years, but I was kept away from family and friends. Nobody could know about my scandalous lifestyle. I obliged. I had enough of feeling like a leper. Rather stay away than being reminded. Life has a weird way of turning things around though. Gremlins started seeping through the woodwork of the family tree and suddenly my stain was not so dark anymore.
It took me a long while to accept the fact that there are so many people out there in the world who will never accept the type of woman I am. But I am strong in the knowledge, that I am just that….a woman. There is no better feeling in the world than being a woman. Nothing makes you stronger than being a woman, and nothing will ever replace that wonderful feeling of gentleness, empathy and strength within a woman. Do I feel sorry for myself, heavens no! I am a woman after all!
Dear friends, family and other interesting creatures,
During the month of August I have contacted a few woman and asked them to share some of their stories Subject choice is up to the writer and I trust you will enjoy this introduction to the special females on my various platforms. If you want to be part of this series, mail me firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy Woman’s Month!
I wish you enough,