I grew up in a very strict and traditional Afrikaans home. Can you imagine my surprise when I was finding my female teachers as sexy as the boys did! My friends were looking at and discussing other boys, and I looked at their girlfriends! Oh dear. I did not dare say a word.

In my innocence I didn’t even know what people like me was called. In Standard 8 (Grade 10) I found out what I was and also realised that my parents and brother can’t stand people like me. I never played with dolls or dreamed of big weddings, I liked welding and building and carpentry, but in all of this, loved being a woman.

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I lived with my secret in silence till the age of 32, when I finally told my Mom. She was very clear. “I need you to stay out of my life”.  So, I did. Having allowed myself to have a partner for the first time, I realised exactly how many people do not like “our type” very much.

I dress like other woman, wear make-up like other woman, love beautiful lingerie like other woman, yet got treated differently. I found it heart-breaking at first, because I have a weakness, people. I absolutely love and adore people, any people. I find them beautiful and amazing.  There is nothing better in the world, than loving people, no matter what flaws they might have; they are all absolutely beautiful works of art. Finding myself not being accepted by so many of them, was hard to deal with.

It amazed me when I realised that so many people think it is a choice you make. If it was a choice, I would definitely not choose to be frowned upon by so many. It just is, and always was, right from the beginning of my life.

My mom contacted me again after a few years, but I was kept away from family and friends. Nobody could know about my scandalous lifestyle. I obliged. I had enough of feeling like a leper.  Rather stay away than being reminded. Life has a weird way of turning things around though. Gremlins started seeping through the woodwork of the family tree and suddenly my stain was not so dark anymore.

It took me a long while to accept the fact that there are so many people out there in the world who will never accept the type of woman I am. But I am strong in the knowledge, that I am just that….a woman. There is no better feeling in the world than being a woman. Nothing makes you stronger than being a woman, and nothing will ever replace that wonderful feeling of gentleness, empathy and strength within a woman.  Do I feel sorry for myself, heavens no! I am a woman after all!


Dear friends, family and other interesting creatures,

During the month of August I have contacted a few woman and asked them to share some of their stories  Subject choice is up to the writer and I trust you will enjoy this introduction to the special females on my various platforms. If you want to be part of this series, mail me wenchy@mweb.co.za

Happy Woman’s Month!

I wish you enough,


Author: WεηchƔ

In September 1997, “The Nocturnal Wenchy” started her blog. The blog remains painfully real but these days she is more of an intermittent Blogger! 😉

6 thoughts on “I AM A WOMAN”

  1. You are indeed a Woman! A very special one in so many ways. Your strength and amazing ability to stay positive at all times are an inspiration to all you come into contact with.

    People who have missed out on knowing you because of their issues and problems are poorer for it.


  2. Wow! What a story.
    I shed a tear or five…
    It’s actually pretty sad to see that in this day and age people still do not accept people’s different sexual preferences.
    I agree that it’s not something you just wake up one morning and decide to go for.
    It must be very hard to deal with purely because of society.
    It’s very sad that some families (especially parents) would turn away from their ‘loved ones’ just because they are different to them and are worried what people may think of THEM. Those are the people who you need the most, when everyone else is judging or frowning upon you.
    It’s also very sad that people(like you did) have to live a lie just to please everyone else.
    I’m straight but one of my best male friends is gay and he’s one of the lucky ones who doesn’t care what people think. His family also support him.
    Yes it’s ‘weird’ to see any same sex couple being all happy and stuff as we learn from a young age that ‘this is not right’…
    But neither is stealing, killing or any other crime committed yet we turn a blind eye on that because it happens so often and people are unfortunately used to it.
    I wish people would take a minute to think about which one is more ‘wrong’ when they are judging you.
    My feelings towards any gay person/couple is…
    (And this is for a straight couple too), as long as there isn’t TOO MUCH public affection and as long as they are not trying to ‘make you be like them or make a move on me’ then why the hell does anything they do in life have to be YOUR issue?
    You should not be caring about what others have to say or think… You should be living a happy life for YOU!

    It’s the same as interracial relationships really.
    It’s not what we are lead to believe is right so it’s looked down upon.
    Would I personally do it? No.. but that doesn’t mean I have the right to judge those who would. And at the end of the day, THAT is a choice…Not people’s sexuality. 😉


  3. sadly it took me a long time to come out and my mother adores my wife but not as my wife, she is finding it very hard to accept that i am who i am, my son is awesome about it and loves having 2 moms, but society in general is not that happy with , my snr boss is struggling a lot with it, i have not changed I am still the same person i was before i became true to myself but others look at me differently


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