Turns out we both liked men.

Dear friends, family and interesting creatures,

I happened upon my dearest friend, Louw’s video about being different yesterday. I’d never thought different could mask the word gay.

When I finished watching Louw’s video about coming out to his Dad, I had an ugly face cry.  I hated that Louw had felt any hurt ever.

I felt compelled to acknowledge the truth in my own life. My children’s father is gay.

I usually am very quick and witty about this subject. I say things like: (insert drum roll here)

I love gay men so much, I even married one once.

The truth is nothing like that. Truth is jest.

I would like you to watch Louw’s video, before you read the 30 things Brian is most grateful for. Perhaps it will explain to you, why I have felt an assortment of emotion, but never anger, nor blame. It’s a strange, strange world we live in Master Jack. 

I urge to you attempt to accept, embrace and have empathy for what you do not understand. I know this is not easy. Not for you, and certainly not for the person standing before you.

Thirty things I am thankful for:

There are so many ways I could look at this, so I will probably split my thirty things I am thankful for between the serious and the slightly more flippant.

  1. I am thankful for the path I have walked, for better or worse I feel I am a more authentic me.

Roughly a decade years ago my life was in turmoil. I realized whatever life I was living it was not me. Being a sometimes compulsive writer I wrote my thoughts down at the time and made a decision to try something new.

What I wrote at the time follows:

“I have never been afraid of death until now, not death itself but rather the life I will live until I die. A life lived in fear, a life that becomes banal, uninteresting even to myself” For a few months I know I lost the plot completely and drew into myself. No More.”

I will not live an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to love
so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

– Dawna Markova.

To not live an unlived life I realized was to require an absolute freedom, not bound by the shackles of my past, or the shackles of a grafted on morality.

I would rather live a life guided by that which sits deep within me. An honest life that is true to me and true to those around me.

“Accepting a freedom like that is both exciting and terrifying. How much do the points of reference on a moral compass shift, when reliant on purely one’s sense of self and who one is?”

The words above were written by a man who had been living in absolute fear and conflict with himself, deeply closeted to a point of denial.

Making a decision to seek something different, I never imagined where the journey would take me.

Today, I am a happy, out of the closet man who can fully accept me without conflict. So yes, for this I am thankful.

  1. I am thankful for my three children. Each a unique and special blessing who have walked the long path with me. Who love and accept me for who I am, flaws and all. Without them I am nothing.
  1. I am thankful for the mother of my children. Without her I would have nothing to offer this world when I am dead and gone. I hope that they each carry a piece of me, so that others will know my character even if they never met me.
  1. I am Thankful for a Grandmother who carried me in my youth. She was a mentor, a confidant and a friend. Certainly she formed part of the mould for who I am today.
  1. I am thankful for those others dear to me no longer of this earth. The lessons learned the memories cherished. For them in those dark hours I will still steal away and cry.
  1. I am thankful for past lovers. Some left me hurt, some left me poorer. Some I will carry in my heart forever. The all left me older and wiser.  I am thankful for that wisdom.
  1. I am thankful for the children along the way who I did not raise but still call me dad. It has been my privilege.
  1. I am thankful to live in a country and community that makes room for all and gives all a place in the sun.
  1. I am thankful for a small but precious circle of friends. These are the family I got to choose.
  1. I am thankful for my brother. He will always be a shining star in my life. Never on this earth could anyone be more proud of a sibling.
  1. I am thankful for late night conversations, the sharing of tears. I hold these moments sacred.
  1. I am thankful for my first love. Music. The soundtrack to my life would be an eclectic mix. Everything I have ever felt can be expressed in music, be it the lyrics or the emotion of the instruments.
  1. I am thankful for the fact I have lived over two decades in the one industry, it was foretold I could never make it in.
  1. I am thankful for those who will put themselves on a stage to perform. These courageous people who put themselves out there for our entertainment.
  1. I am thankful for the artists in the world. The ones on gallery walls and the ones on the subway walls. Creativity in all its forms inspires me.
  1. I am thankful for the moments when my mind grows still.
  1. I am thankful that in most cases we get to try again tomorrow.
  1. I am thankful for a world rich in fragrance, be it a flower, a dish to feast upon or the unique scent of a man or woman.
  1. I am thankful for the tree lined avenues I travel on my daily commute.
  1. I am thankful for the random smile of strangers.
  1. I am thankful for the animals I have loved throughout their lives. I love them still.
  1. I am thankful to the genius who first took leaves from a plant and let them steep in boiling water. Five Roses African Select is its perfect form.
  1. I am thankful for the genius who figured out fermentation. Beer or wine for me.
  1. I am thankful for the genius who figured out distillation. Vodka anyone?
  1. I am thankful for the genius who first processed a Cocoa Bean. 75% Dark chocolate for me.
  1. I am thankful for the Afrikaans language. Truly a beautiful language.
  1. I am thankful for the months that run out before the money does. Wish it happened more often.
  1. I am thankful for the nights where I beat insomnia. I wish they were more.
  1. I am thankful for “out swimming” a lot of other sperm. (Sorry I could not resist)
  1. I am thankful for any of you who took the time to read this.

 

May love and laughter light your days,

and warm your heart and home.

May good and faithful friends be yours,

wherever you may roam.

May peace and plenty bless your world

with joy that long endures.

May all life’s passing seasons

bring the best to you and yours!

 

With Love,

Brian

31 reasons to fall in love with @Verushka143

1-Fullscreen capture 20160906 23310 PMWomen are made of Sugar and Spice and all things nice or so they tell us in the nursery rhymes we learn as toddlers. But it is true us women are rather complex with so many different sides to us.

1) I sing in the shower and let us just say I could audition for Idols and not be laughed at. Favourite shower song is from Pitch Perfect “Titanium by David Guetta and Sia“. Reminds of how strong I am and that I am a warrior.

2) As much as I love Technology , there are certain things I prefer the old fashioned way. Books for me need to be real and not ebooks. The feel of turning crisp clean pages,the smell of new pages and the sound of pages flipping send my soul to a happy place. I always carry a book on me.Literally I can spend hours in a book shop and lose track of time. Want to impress me ? Give me a copy of your favourite book !

3) A hopeless romantic who still believes in love even though my heart looks like a patchwork quilt.

4) I love making lists. Most people have a #BucketList of places they want to travel but I have several lists which include :

a) Books to read
b) Places to eat at around the world
c) Photos to capture
d) Experiences around the world

Spice5) I love watching Bollywood movies and I get lost in the magic of romance. I do not speak the language but over the years I have picked up the language by watching movies. My mum and I have days out where we go to get our Bollywood fix.

7) My parents live in the same house for the last forty years and we have the same phone number. Crazy especially as in this day and age people are constantly on the go.

8) My first teaching job was in the ‘lil town of Ixopo in KZN. I taught and lived at a boarding school. Alan Paton was a  Headmaster at this school and this was where he wrote Cry The Beloved country.

9) Vanilla is my most favourite spice. So be it perfume, tea or coffee there is always an underlying flavour of Vanilla.

10) Going down stairs, are a nightmare for me especially if there are more than 5 steps and they are narrow. I have a phobia of falling down the stairs though once I did fall up on a flight of stairs.

11) I have a real job besides my blog. Having studied an Education degree ,I have taught in schools and in London. Currently well for the last 5 years I have been lecturing at a local TVET College. I start work at 12 midday and finish at 8pm.

12) My most favourite chocolate in the world is Lindt. More specifically the Red Lindor Balls.

13) Mildly addicted to all things British. After living in London for almost a decade I know a cup of tea is always a good idea, a fry up breakfast is the best hangover cure and YES I still watch BBC soapies.

14) Rose Gold is my favourite metal and has been for over ten years. Fell in love with this metal after I discovered I love the colour pink. Long story cut short but hard to believe that once upon a time I hated the colour pink.

15) I have a medical condition called Keloids. This means my scar tissue over heals and leave excess skin and tissue in the form of lumps on my body. I have gotten keloids from my baby injections on my arm and on my eyes from having my ears pierced with a surgical gun.

16) I have 3 tattoos and still plan on getting more.

17) I do not feel dressed unless I have a watch on. I have on some occasions worn a dead watch as the battery had died and I felt bare with it on my wrist.

18) I have been bitten by the Travel Bug and all I want to do is travel. Through my blog I have been fortunate enough to get some opportunities.

19) I take daily Chronic medication for High Blood Pressure.

20) I love cooking for my loved ones. I see myself as the Indian Nigella.

21) When ever I watch any sporting matches and hear the South African National Anthem I get goosebumps and get all teary.

22) The name of my blog is inspired by a movie called Mistress of the Spices.

23) Mad about animal print currently on my lust list is an animal print sari.

24) I started my Twitter account before I started blogging.

25) I love statement jewellery. My sense of fashion includes combining my Eastern looks with Western statement jewellery.

26) Once upon a time I had my nose pierced but removed it after 3 years.

27) After watching the Stephen King movie “IT “ as a child I am rather afraid of clowns.

28) I love taking pictures of my world and myself. I used to be very self conscious about the way I look but not anymore. Love me for all my flaws or leave me be.

29) I used to not be an animal person but that all changed when I got my first puppy four years ago and now I own 2 dogs Chai and Zara.

30) As a plus size girl I am proud to be a Brand Ambassador for Curvy Girls Chronicles which is a Body Positivity Campaign in America with ambassadors around the world.

31) Proudly South African with a deep rooted Indian cultural identity.

Twitter : http://www.twitter.com/verushka143

Instagram : http://www.instagram.com/verushka143

Facebook : http://www.facebook.com/SpiceGoddessBlog

Blog : www.spicegoddess.co.za

Be Inspired !

Verushka Ramasami

From GLITTER to toast.

30 great things I’m grateful for – in absolutely no particular order of preference, except the first two.

Janice

1. My children – for the funny, the quirky, the challenging, the enduring, the different, the surprising, the everything … especially the love!!

2. My man – for his patience and his steadfast permanence, mostly when he has no clue what I’m doing (which is most of the time)!

3. Glitter (obviously!) – all colours, all the time!

4. Toast (ya – I guess that was obvious too!) – preferably rye toast, especially on cold winter mornings, with melted butter … mmmmmmmm!!!

5. My book Tribe

6. My doglets, Phoebe and Chandler

7. Tea & Coffee – such a confusing conundrum being a lover of both!

8. Notebooks – ring-bound ones

9. Actually, most stationery! I love stationery!

10. Living in a country where we have the freedom to practice what we
believe in, and to support others who might feel that this isn’t the
case.

11. Being privileged to watch incredibly talented SA performers on-stage on a
regular basis. I don’t think people realise what amazing home-grown
talent we have in our country – they’re so busy criticising anything
local.

12. Things we don’t even think about – the roof over our head, running water, electricity, clothes, shoes – that others only dream of.

13. Pain-free days. For anyone who suffers from any type of ‘invisible’ condition, where your pain is practically unbearable, so you just pop those pills and suffer in silence, you’ll know what I mean!!

14. My mom still being able to travel over from the UK to spend time with us.

15. The fact that we can all help anyone, change anyone’s life for the better, in an instant, at anytime (to paraphrase Anne Frank).

16. Google Maps (especially when I’m in Cape Town – sorry, telling me to ‘just look for the mountain’ doesn’t actually work for me!!!!)

17. Music that inspires me

18. Getting a good night’s sleep (rare, oh, so rare!!)

19. The incredible inspiration I get, and all the amazing, insightful things I learn from the diverse group of people I get to call my friends, both online and in real-time.

20. Emily – without her, our home and our lives wouldn’t actually operate … at all!!!

21. Soup – in all and any weather.

22. John Frieda Frizz-Ease Shampoo & Conditioner

23. Sweet peas in summertime – my favourite flowers

24. Work that fulfills and rewards.

25. Books, books, books, and more books!

… for the love of books.

26. My Kindle

27. My Cellphone

28. Garlic Bread

29. Lindor Balls

30. Lip Balm 

Blogs: www.jansbookbuzz.com 

www.glitterandtoast.com

What are you thankful for?

Abundance & Gratitude with Clairvoyant Lifestyle Blogger Neeta

1. I am Grateful for a loving husband! And our marriage of just over a year.

2: I am Grateful for the awareness and creativity I am able to share with everyone.

3: I am Grateful for my beautiful home.

4: I am Grateful for my gorgeous plants, I love my plants and that they grow.

5: I am Grateful for the ability to cook healthy meals with awareness.

6: I am Grateful to be healthy and vibrant.

7: I am Grateful for all the amazing friends I have, through blogging and media.

8: I am Grateful for the amazing diverse country and cultures I live in.

9: I am Grateful for the ability to work from Home as an entrepreneur, share my creativity with others, through art.

10: I am Grateful for amazing Neighbours and friends that are supportive and caring.

11: I am Grateful for running water and electricity, my cellphone.

12: I am Grateful for the ability to experience new adventures, through travelling and blogging.

13: I am Grateful for the best weather and sunsets in the world

14: I am Grateful for my helper, all the waiters and service providers we have in this magical country.

15: I am Grateful for my health and the ability to function in every way.

16: I am Grateful for the ability to stand out.

17: I am Grateful for the courage to drive on Jo’burgs roads, especially not coming from a big city.

18:I am Grateful for being an avid reader and learning more.

19: I am Grateful to communicate and share inspiration with everyone.

20: I am Grateful for my amazing family!

21: I am Grateful to inspire others.

22: I am Grateful for my qualification in the beauty industry.

23: I am Grateful for the ability to use my Discernment, and choose the right company for me.

24: I am Grateful for the travels and adventures I continue to go on.

25: I am Grateful I can paint and draw, create jewelry.

26: I am Grateful for the sensitivity and compassion I feel towards others.

27: I am Grateful for this magical day.

28: I am Grateful for a birthday coming up next month.

29: I am Grateful for spring, the birds chirping the love of nature.

30: I am Grateful for this journey, grateful you are reading this!

Neeta is a Lifestyle blogger, Writer, Creative Influencer & Clairvoyant

  • Blog:  Love Art By Neeta
  • Twitter: @neetaraga
  • Facebook Page: Loveartbyneeta
  • Instagram: loveartbyneeta

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Laura’s World

Personally I think that there are a 100 things that I can be thankful for but here are my top 30:

Laura

1. My parents – because they show me what true love really is every single day 

2. Good hair days

3. Good health

4. My rescue cat Fluffils purring, when she gives me morning cuddles

5. Starbucks Caramel Macchiatos 

6. Wine

7. Friends I can drink wine with – any time – day or night

8. Finding a pair of stockings without a ladder in them

9. Fireplaces in Winter

10. Yellow Daffodils in the Spring

11. Silk sheets when you’ve just shaved your legs

12. Google

13. Every good book I’ve ever read

14. Cheese fondue – all kinds of cheese really

15. Music that can change my entire day – on repeat

16. Bloody Mary’s

17. When those designer shoes you’ve had your eye on for months goes on sale

18. SALES of any kind

19. A really good pillow

20. Sleeping in

21. Pizza with cream cheese and chive sauce on it

22. Patrick Mavros jewellery 

23. Zimbabwe

24. My faith

25. Travel

26. Ryan Gosling – always

27. Bach

28. A rainy day indoors

29. Homemade tomato soup

30. A relaxing bubblebath


Join me on: 

Twitter: LaurasWorldza 

Instagram: laurasworldza

Zomato: https://www.zomato.com/laurasealy