Mishandel, misbruik, misken by Carla van der Spuy

Mishandel, misbruik, miskenMishandel, misbruik, misken by Carla van der Spuy

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I often receive books for review from publishers or authors but this book, I purchased. I was wondering why I have not heard anything about it, not a whisper. Now I know why.

Like other South Africans I have read the story of Joey Haarhoff and Gert van Rooyen in newspapers for many years. They are suspected of abducting and killing six teenage girls in 1988/1989. Gert very cowardly shot Joey before killing himself before police could arrest them. Were it not for these names I would not have purchased a copy of the book.

There is no doubt that Amor van der Westhuyzen had a horrific, abusive childhood and that it would manifest itself in many ways as she became an adult. That said, for me, the book lacked substance. At some point Amor picks up on a behavioural science of placing people into boxes based on behaviour and it appears that she believes this as black and white truth. Later, the reading of what people’s characteristics are according to their physical appearance was actually laughable and irritated me immensely.

I am sincerely happy for Amor van der Westhuyzen that she has faced her demons and that she is living a happy life within a successful marriage and has her own business. Sadly, this book will only be purchased because of the fascination the public remains to have with Joey Haarhoff and Gert van Rooyen.

I have just purchased another book written by Carla van der Spuy, so my disappointment in the book is not with the author. I think she did the best she could with the content she had to work with.

I wish you enough,

Wenchy

​Striving towards the thinner side of life.

My darling Bestie, @NocturnalWenchy again asked me to write a piece for her blog. And once again, I wonder if my words will have any impact on anyone else’s life.  

You see, I am quite the opposite to my outgoing, full of life, always smiling Bestie. The topic that she chose for me to write about is my weight loss journey.  And what an epic travel it is turning out to be.

I have always been on the bigger (read larger) side.  When I was a child, the weight issue got kept in check due to the vast number of sports that I participated in at any one time or another.  

So naturally after school, the weight piled on because I longer had the disciplines of the various sports to keep me going.  

I finished school weighing 85kg and a size 16.  And so it went for many years – the yo-yo dieting, the fluctuating weight and teetering between a size 18 and size 26.

Many of the days, it was just easier to give up and eat whatever. This was fuelled by the most cutting and snide comments from the ex. I got to the point that “who cares”. No one will love me being big, and I was my worst critic and enemy. This went on until the end of last year. 

I went on a cruise with my sister. I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with me at all. I just couldn’t see exactly how whale-like I had become. 

I got the shock of my life, when on a day in January, I decided to weigh myself.  I nearly died when the numbers stopped at 157kg.  

A fact that I am most certainly not proud of, in fact the complete opposite. I was sick to my stomach. How on earth had I let things get so completely out of control?  It was in that very instant that I decided that enough was enough and so the birth of #campaignsweet16 came about.  

I decided that working to a goal weight so often ends in failing, complete with the self-loathing and guilt that normally come with these types of things. 

The last time I was a size 16 was in 1992 when I finished school.  I have managed to get to an 18 quite a few times and then I fall off the proverbial wagon again.  Each time I was doing more harm than the time before.  I found a high protein diet on the internet and decided to give it a try. 

No it’s not Banting or LCHF or anything like that. Literally I started on high protein, no starch, no sugar, no added fats, no carbs, no colours or preservatives. So basically, think of everything that is yummy and nice and cut that out of your diet.  

However, I have found that if you are craving something, then has a small piece otherwise you end up binging and the whole cycle starts from the beginning again with the added “fun” of the extra self-loathing that you end up piling on yourself. 

I have also joined the gym, and hired a biokinetist to help me along my journey. So I try as much as I can to go five times a week.  I have had to take a little sabbatical due to broken ribs and torn tendons. That is a story for another day.  I have basically concentrated on cardio with a little strengthening and toning in between.  

My specialist has suggested that I begin swimming more often and also to join a yoga and/or pilates class to strengthen my core. This in itself should help the incredible back pain that I have suffered with over a number of years.

I think that the most important thing to remember is that it takes a long time to get into the “shape” that I got to, so getting back to the shape that I want to be will also take a lot of time. 

Unfortunately there are no magic pills, potions, rubs or miracle cures.  

It is simply working hard and sticking to a regimen that in total will benefit you. You have to be beholden to your own ideals and goals. Having said which it is generally a really grand idea to set goals that are achievable and work towards smaller short-term goals instead of looking at an incredibly huge number that you want to shed ahead of you.  This, I find, not only scares you and seems unachievable, but it is also easier to fall off the proverbial wagon.  

Smaller goals are easily reached and you are then able to “reward” yourself with little treats along the way.  

Most of all be kind to yourself.  Remember that we are all human and unless you have the will power that is as unbending as a scarecrow, there will be times that you err. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Keep in mind the end goal that you want to achieve. Keep going and you will get there. 

Be realistic. You can’t expect to lose everything in one month.  Slowly seems to be the best way to keep it off – as long as there are no huge binges involved as soon as you get some sort of positive result.   

I have also discovered that the more positive your mind set, the easier it seems to be to stay on track.  

So quite simply put, the happier you are, the easier it becomes to lose weight and the happier you become because you are actually getting to where you want to be! 

Having started this journey at the end of January 2016, I am now over 40kg lighter. I still want to lose another 35kg or so.

Most importantly I want to be at least a size 14!  I want those sparkly Guess Jeans. (Every girl needs diamonds on her ass at least once in her life!)  

So my original #CampainSweet16 has morphed in #CampaignSweet14GuessJeans.  

I will get there. I haven’t set myself a time limit (way too easy to set myself up for disappointment!) 

At the moment, I am a 16 on top and an 18 on bottom. So I am getting there. Top prize would be getting into those Guess Jeans by the time it’s my birthday. 

Birthday bubbles and sparkly jeans – sounds like a plan to me!

—– ♡♡♡—–

Thank you my lovely #bestie for sharing. Congratulations on a wonderful, inspirational weight loss journey! I cannot weight to see you in them jeans.

You can interact with Gail on Twitter:  @GailvonG2  ✔

Jozi Food Whore – leaves no dish untasted.

30 Things I am grateful for:

1. My Tall, Dark & Handsome. The man has oodles of patience and tons of love and I am blessed every day for having him in my life, for those generous arms around me. And he brings me cheese.

1-jozi2. Friendships. So many amazing friends have blessed me with their light and love since 2010, when I first started “living life”. Countless, spectacular people who have come and stayed, come and gone, come and gone and come again. The list is long.

3. My brother. We used to be each others’ best friends until our respective partners came along but our connection remains deep and sometimes even just a gesture or a word or a look can have me in fits of laughter. That’s years and years and years of friendship right there.

4. My doggies, Spud and Lemon. They’ve been with me for 7 years now, and they’re crazy – completely abnormal – pavement specials. But I do love them. And they were there through the worst times of life, without ever ceasing their attempts to lick me! And that’s what you need in a good friend. Ha.

5. Family. We don’t always get along but when the chips are down, family is there for you.

6. Good people in hard positions. It’s tough to remain a generous, giving person when you’re in an ‘ard-as-nails job but I’ve met people who still remain kind and big-hearted even when they often receive only negativity in return. That’s a special characteristic I cannot claim to have but which I can definitely appreciate in wonderful people I know.

7. Food, glorious food. We are so spoilt when it comes to food. We must never take it for granted. Every single bite should always be appreciated and savoured. And when it comes to food, there are many many many things to love. So many. But some deserve their own line.

8. Cheese, all the cheese!

9. Baked cheese cake.

10. Eggplant

11. Cannolis

12. Pasteis de nata

13. Biltong

14. 90% dark chocolate

15. Coffee

16. Any paneer dish.

17. Peanut butter

18. Beer …

19. … and wine. Let’s be honest, people. Life is hard. But there are fantastic days that cannot be measured. Hot summer days where you get to put a cold beer to your lips, and swallow that goodness, and feel it tingle on your tongue, and tickle down your throat. And cold winter nights, when you sit around a fire, ignoring the fact that it’s freezing, and drink some lovely bold red wine from our very own shores. That’s when life is good.

20. Braai. Is there anything better than a braai? Tell me what. I will listen, half-heartedly. Braai has all the elements. Fire! Food! Company! Warmth! Community!

21. Laughter.

22. Sleep. I love my sleep and a good, solid, lights-out sleep is something I am extremely grateful for. It doesn’t always happen but when it does, I absolutely luxuriate in it.

23. Jo’burg thunderstorms. One of my favourite things is driving into Jozi from the north when a storm is just rolling in and you can see all the swaths of rain and the thunder going crazy from a distance.

24. My health. Though I’m not in peak physical condition (thanks, beer!), I’m in pretty good nick. I have a great many close friends and family members who are struggling with serious health issues daily. Never take your health for granted.

25. My job. I’m often heard bemoaning my day job and the fact that I can’t attend certain events as a result but truth be told, I was about to lose everything when this job came along so I’m more than a little grateful.

26. My phone. Oh, how I love my phone. This little treasure chest gives me all the functions I need to run my food-loving moonlighting life. Without it, I would be lost!

27. My car. There was a time when I almost sold it to get a scooter (cost-saving stories). But seriously, I would have missed my “Ossewa” (it’s a mommy wagon, basically) a helluva lot. Useful does not even begin to describe my MPV.

28. Nature and the great outdoors. Saffas don’t always stop to appreciate how amazing our quality of life can be. Step out your door, even in the urban sprawl of Jo’burg, and you won’t have to go far to find nature in all its glory: lush green spaces, trees, flowers, and beauty.

29. This city, Jozi. I’m not from here but I feel like I should be. If you ask me where I was born, I’ll say Rustenburg. If you ask me where I’m from, I’ll say Jozi. I love every single part of this city, even the grime and the dark bits. Yes, it needs a lot of work. Jozi is like a porn star who made some poor choices in the past, but who is also trying to kick some bad habits and come clean as a soccer mom: she’ll forever be edgy and a little dark but she’s trying to do the family thing. At least her kids will always be able to take the knocks and get back up again, even if they are a little dysfunctional.

30. This land. Say what you want, political and cultural arguments aside, this place is in my bones. I was born here and I played in the red dirt, and when I played rough and the dirt rewarded me with scratches and scrapes, it mixed with my blood. I go away, and I miss it. I meet foreign faces in foreign places, and I smile when I think about my countrymen and women. I visit a land where the sun hardly shines, even for just a few days, and I dream of turning my face into the sun at home. Not everyone loves it. Not everyone believes I should love it. It’s irrelevant. I love it.

Find me on Twitter and Instagram as @JoziFoodWhore and on Facebook at facebook.com/JoziFoodHo. I also have a blog! www.jozifoodwhore.co.za

The Food Musketeer – #21 REVIEWER IN JOHANNESBURG

☆ Love ♡ Food ♡ Photography ☆ ☆ Living Life 1 Meal at a Time☆

30-thankful

Think this is a wonderful initiative, to count our blessings in a way… so here is a quick snapshot of the things I am grateful for.

  1. My Family near and far
  2. Awesome friends who accept me as I am
  3. Living in Beautiful South Africa / East Rand
  4. My health that’s improved over the years
  5. Pork Ribs
  6. Braais with Masala lamb chops
  7. Privilege of always meeting new foodies along my journey
  8. Highveld thunderstorms (when they arrive)
  9. Lindt chocolates
  10. Bacon
  11. Vodka
  12. Technology
  13. Spices, without them what would food taste like.
  14. Access to semi clean drinking tap water (you appreciate this when travelling abroad)
  15. Electricity, when there is no power cuts.
  16. Having the ability to work and make a living
  17. Good, will always prevail over bad.
  18. My moms chocolate cake
  19. Hairdryers and straighteners
  20. Beautiful flowers to brighten our days.
  21. Amazing weather
  22. Birthdays, it means we survive another year
  23. Being able to travel.
  24. Learning something new everyday
  25. Rainbows
  26. Weekends and public holidays
  27. Internet
  28. Diverse cultures that give us new perspectives on life
  29. Challenges that make us stronger.
  30. Swearwords to express myself…lol

Twitter: @dajeeml

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News24 Voices: Maya Dajee

Objectifying men since birth… Weslee Swain Lauder

“Spieëltjie, spieëltjie aan die wand, wie is die mooiste in die land?”

1) Facebook memories every morning.

2) Nakhane Toure‘s music.

3) Salticrax @Bakers_Biscuits – red onion flav.

4) Sunshine.

5) Gautrain– taking the edge off driving.

6) The golden butterfly snap chat filter.

7)  Actually. Francois Hougaard’s snapchat.

8) Actually. Snap chat all together.

9) Grande Capps from Seattle coffee co .

10) In the morning, driving to work, about 2kms from the total garage on the N 14 to Pta there’s this open veld that gets caressed by the sun. It’s beautiful.

11) My sight.

12) Musical theatre.

13) Glitter.

14) My parents.

15) The Zombie apocalypse fantasy.

16) Thankful for supportive parents.

17) Today I’m PROUD AND grateful to our government for banning Stephen Anderson from coming to SA.

18) Water.

19) lady gaga .

20) Grace.

21) Aussibum underwear– I always feel so sexy wearing them.

22) True friends.

23) My family.

24) Wacky Wednesday’s at Steers .

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25) Jazz dance.

27) My new lil apartment.

28) Horror films.

29) Bread- all bread.

30) Plain Greek yoghurt with honey.

Creatively yours,

Weslee

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