Dear friends and other interesting creatures,
Yesterday marked 20 years since the bravest day of my life.
I was a young mom with a four-year-old Kev and a baby Liam James and left my marriage of seven years, a relationship that ran the space of a decade.
I desperately wanted the white picket fence. I so wanted what I did not have growing up. The bare essentials of what constituted the dream were there, but my dream did not include violent, drunken, abusive behaviour.
A nightmare is what I woke up to for the majority of that life. An ill-equipped me who felt desperate to breathe, to escape while terrified. I did not think about feeling “happy”, I just wanted to feel “safe”, unafraid – I wanted my sons to know that this was not what marriage should be like.
Nothing about leaving that situation was remotely easy. It was brutal on every level. I had no money, I had two young children and my family was far away… but I also had an iron will that this would not be my life.
My life was exposed for all the world to judge. I did it alone and was exhausted to my core. People did judge, I honestly did not care. They had no idea as to the details of my daily life. To this day I care little for public opinion.
Looking back, my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
I wish you enough