Nocturnal Wenchy

African Hips Don't Lie


Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

​She is a friend of mind.  She gather me, man.  The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order.  It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.  

~ Toni Morrison, Beloved 

I’ve never been a great pretender. I don’t keep it together for the kids, hence all that therapy! 

If I’m happy you will all know about it. When I’m sad, dissapointed, hurt, ashamed – I’ll tell you. Feelings are neither right, nor wrong. They simply are. I just acknowledge them out loud with no apology. 

Today I cried. 

My soul mate. My person. We met online sixteen years ago and we immediately bonded. It was stronger than “we clicked”. It was a surreal “Oh there you are!” experience. 

We have supported each other even when we have totally disagreed with decisions made. We have loved, forgiven and protected where and when we could. We have been apart, but a nudge away. We are my most successful marriage yet! 😉 For richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us do part. 

When she said “It’s cancerous”, I said #fuckcancer… followed by “We need to learn how to make African headgear, very stylish”. When she said surgery, I said “Who needs breasts anyway?” When she said chemo, I said “Now there’s a way to lose weight.” Poking at cancer has become the subtle, empty joke to deflect from my inner “I want to vomit in fear” reaction. 

Mel is gracious and kind. She is respected and people look up to her. She is caring and giving. She is slow to anger and quick to forgive. She is funny and loving. 

She is everything cancer is not.

Her cancer journey started at diagnosis. The tumour has been removed. The chemo port was fitted yesterday. It is all too real. 

Melany is greatly loved by many and while we will all walk with her with massive support, I know it is not going to feel that way at 3am. 

I know you will keep it together for the kids. Your parents. Your friends. Die Tannie by die Tuisnywerheid …. so let me assure you, that I will be your 3am.

I will love, honour and cherish you throughout this journey. I’m so grateful for you. 

Stel ♡

8 responses to “Beloved ”

  1. #FuckCancer

    I am sitting here crying

    The Love you two share is amazing and undeniable.


  2. With the first words I knew you were writing about Mel.

    I have sent and will be directing thoughts of support and and best wishes into the universe from coastal South Carolina,USA. And from Roswell, New Mexico where I am thus moment.



    Liked by 1 person

  3. I had to stop reading. At office and you know I only cry when I hug you. I’m going to read this at 3am, so that I CAN cry. I can’t finish it now….I just can’t. You are my person.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my word C this is beautifully written.
    Mel is amazing and I know she’ll win this war… especially with the support she had


  5. Oh Wenchy this is so special the bond you two have. We are so Thankful she had you in her life. Together we will get her through this horrible time lying ahead ❣️❣️. Thank you for being their for our girl 😘


  6. I know, what you mean, Wenchy. I sit and cry here too, every day almost. I read about chemoports on the time when I should work. I dream about chemoports at night. I never ever felt such badly for 10.000 km between me and Mel. Many times I said “I would love to be there for you”. This time I feel like selling the house and car and everything and buying tickets. Sounds stupid but every single cell wants to be there.
    But OK, plan is different. I will fly again one day – just to fly with Mel over Pilansberg park with hotair baloon. We will do it. For 50th birthday, of 60th… or just for ordinary Monday together. Go with us, Wench! In wonderful, bright future without cancer…


  7. Beautifully said Wenchy!

    As I sit with tears in my eyes, I am absolutely astounded by the volumes you speak of Mel, who she is and what you share!

    Mel is lucky to have your sense of humour and caring heart! (And vice versa)

    Hang in there, Mel! You have your 3 am.


Leave a Reply to Noid Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me

Mom to many, wife to SirNoid. Lover of water, walks in the shade and all things purple.

%d bloggers like this: