Dear friends and other interesting creatures,
I felt it building. The exhaustion. From Monday to Thursday I realised I was incredibly tired by bedtime. Like there isn’t enough sleep in the world to feed me.
Last night I felt myself crashing. It’s a tired I can’t explain. I took my daily meds to assist sleeping and not having my body present itself as a stiff job in the morning. Usually I fall asleep soon after. Nothing.
I’m so tired that my eye lids feel heavy but still, no sleep. Round 3am I took my anxiety meds. Again feeling more relaxed I should fall asleep, but nothing.
I think I have the feeling that toddlers have when they are over tired down. No wonder they are so grumpy.
I lay down this afternoon and slept about 90 minutes… but again, not a deep sleep either. I woke up with a headache firmly in place (probably from a lack of sleep) and that familiar Fibromyalgia ache all over my body. I really am not keen on a flair up please. Spare me.
It makes me sad. I feel guilty if I ask @SirNoid or my children for help as they work long hours and I feel like a burden during weeks like this one.
I physically hurt and psychologically it makes me feel pretty useless. Really positive on the self esteem chronic illness is.
I try to communicate how my body feels but I know it doesn’t translate well into words. I just sound like I need some cheese with that whine.
I wish you enough,