I winked and you were gone.

Dear Kev, Liam James and Victoria, I miss you tonight with a pain so intense in my chest, it makes breathing difficult. Tears burns my eyes silently. Remember when we were all we had? Burning marshmallows over a candle on the bedroom floor because I was a “cool” mom like that? I always wanted to be a Mom. All four of us sleeping in the same room because we didn’t feel safe? Kev doing us all a favour really… Fighting to get Liam James to put his socks on for school…or get out of bed … or brush his teeth … Continue reading I winked and you were gone.

You’ll Never Walk Alone

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

My first real, solid true love…. The very first anything I felt was MINE.

He never gives up on me. He will fight for me and he will fight with me. He will care for me … while sighing a lot. 🙂 He will drink vodka with me. He will play guitar and sing for me.

Continue reading “You’ll Never Walk Alone”

.. so lui die ou, ou sprokie my kind

As die reën van stof en roet verby is en die rook verdwyn Sal daar in die sterrelose hemel ‘n neonboog verskyn En kyk maar goed, want as jy hom vind vertel ek vir jou ‘n sprokie my kind, van ‘n skatkis met ou kettings gebind aan die neonboog se punt Volg hom elke nag oor swart riviere Oor kranse van beton, as jy aanhou stap tien duisend ure sal jy dalk daar kom Maar hier moet jy jou nimmer laat bind want so lui die ou, ou sprokie my kind, As jy geluk en vreugde wil vind soek die … Continue reading .. so lui die ou, ou sprokie my kind

Shut your eyes and see.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,  Every year,  I do my best to approach December as a passage of time, just another month. Some years I do better than others. The anniversary of my father’s death is on the 14th, and my Oupa Mike on the 12th… Just before Christmas is Oupa Mike’s birthday. I remember the eleven year old me running into the safety of Oupa Mike’s arms the night my father died. I remember a 14 year old Kev holding me the morning Oupa Mike died. The unsure reassurance we offered each other. December holds memories I don’t … Continue reading Shut your eyes and see.

He traveled very far, over land and sea…

Dear friends and other interesting creatures, I wanted this child so very much. I prayed him down from heaven, including asking God that please,  I do not want a boy with red hair! Have mercy. I never found out the gender,  but I was having a boy. My boy. I wanted to give him the world but my ruby slippers was dusty and instead life dished us a bone crushing of a white picket fence. My Kev was there for every happy and every sad…. Every sunshine and every rain,  every peanut butter sandwich and every one with cheese.  I … Continue reading He traveled very far, over land and sea…

If I should fall behind, wait for me.

Happy Anniversary to my darling husband! The man with the thighs. @SirNoid made from huge patience, a quick temper to match my own, tremendous dedication, huge love and passion for the girl who has her head in the clouds and her feet on a yellow brick road… sprinkled with purple fairy dust. Not always practical, never conventional and needs the challenge only testosterone provides. I appreciate all you do for us (today I am only writing about you and I… no kids), everything you give me from your heart, the haka on a beach, to helicopter flips over Victoria Falls, … Continue reading If I should fall behind, wait for me.

In conversation with Kyla Jean

Dear friends and other interesting creatures, The second in my series of interviews with my kids. I always knew I would have many children. You know, I collect stuff. 🙂 Yes, it is meant as light hearted as it sounds. It never occurred to my younger self that I did not have to conceive, nor give birth, to love without condition and support without being asked. Some connections just are… and I seriously have enough stretch marks already. I see my heart stumble and fall, finding it’s own place in the world. I worry, I guide, I do not want … Continue reading In conversation with Kyla Jean

In conversation with our Kyle.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures, In the years past, I use to write in depth about my children but as they got older, I’ve tried to be more mindful of their own sense of privacy. Also, my family structure became more complex. I still write about my many, many children, but more topical than as individuals. With inspiration from other Bloggers, I decided to do an interview with the kids in my life. My kids are older than the Mommy Bloggers kiddies I interact with, so I adjusted the questions a bit. Posted the questions to the kids individually … Continue reading In conversation with our Kyle.