When your child lives over the sea.

“It is eerily terrifying that there is no sound when a heart breaks. Car accidents end with a bang, falling ends with a thud, even writing makes the scratching sound of pencil against paper. But the sound of a heartbreaking is completely silent. Almost as though no one, not even the universe itself could create a sound for such devastation. Almost as though silence is the only way the universe could pay its respect to the sound of a heart falling apart.”
― Nikita Gill

Next month it is a year since my Liam James moved to the UK. I feel as if I both mourn and celebrate him daily. I am excited about the things he does over the sea, yet the sadness of being without him clings to me. Continue reading “When your child lives over the sea.”

Some of my best work

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.
– Rabindranath Tagore

My children are some of my favourite people in the world. Not because I made them my own self 😉, but because they are tremendously, independently awesome in their own right.

They fascinate me as individuals. The characteristics that seperate them. The timeless bond that keeps them connected to me and to each other.

I wish you enough,

Wenchy

#theoriginalcast
#wenchytude
💜

The boy with the blue eyes looked up smiling.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I woke up and heard a commotion downstairs. At first, I couldn’t make out what was going on. I could hear @SirNoid speaking to someone. It sounded happy so early in the morning. I got out of bed and walked to the landing for a peep.

I looked down and saw @SirNoid hugging a young man, with lines shaved into his light hair.

I felt my breath completely disappear and I heard myself saying “Liam”. I wasn’t sure if the whispers were actually escaping my body. Continue reading “The boy with the blue eyes looked up smiling.”

Lee.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

My chest feels heavy and every now and then I feel myself gasping for air. There is a lump in my throat as a cry wants to escape. A wetness in the corner of my eyes. Breathe.

I miss my Liam. Writing the words, the wetness escapes my eyes and I feel the tears running down my face.

It has been a month since my boy left for England, yet it feels much longer. It is painful. I feel a desperation I don’t know how to describe.

Every smidge of news I absorb. Every picture shared I save and print it into my memory. I don’t want to miss a thing.

I don’t want him to feel sad. I want him to see things, do things I’ve never done. Go places. Laugh. Be you. Touch the world as only you can.

My Liam James is doing just dandy over the sea. It is only me who is not. There is this hole, this empty space in my life where Lee fits in that I don’t know how to fill.

Does it get better?

I wish you enough,
Liam’s Mom.