Posted in #OriginalCast, ... a bit of that, Memories, Thoughts

You’ll Never Walk Alone

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

My first real, solid true love…. The very first anything I felt was MINE.

He never gives up on me. He will fight for me and he will fight with me. He will care for me … while sighing a lot. 🙂 He will drink vodka with me. He will play guitar and sing for me.

Continue reading “You’ll Never Walk Alone”

Posted in #OriginalCast, ... a bit of that, Memories, Picket fence of many colours, Yesterday Again

For the good times

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,
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This reminded me of beautiful you,  Victoria . My youngest biological child.

The way you use to look at me with wonder when you were little.

I told you if they could one man on the moon, why couldn’t they put all of them there?  🙂 

You seemed to think I knew answers.

I love you chicken little.

I’m sorry for the bad times,  let’s raise a cup of tea to the good times. #theoriginalcast

I wish for you never to be afraid of depth.

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Momma xxx

Posted from the galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

Posted in #OriginalCast, ... a bit of that, Memories, Picket fence of many colours, Thoughts

The first time ever I saw your face.

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My darling chicken little,

I miss you tremendously this morning. A sore that runs from my heart to my hands looking for yours and ending in a tear.

♡ #SmileBeautiful.. That is what you taught me. You need to © that shit.

♡ Be kind,  you never know which chapter of their book another person is on. Especially a teenager person…. or an old and frail person like me.  (Stop laughing!)

♡  Go give a random Grade 8 a hug today.

♡ You are funny,  without trying!

♡ You are perfect,  just as you are. (OK,  I’m sorry about that small hereditary illness, but hey… I didn’t choose it either!)

♡  You are an artist in so many ways. It comes with the freedom of never having the explain yourself.  Don’t.

♡ Some people will never get you. That’s OK. You were never meant to be a “one size fits all”.

♡ When I die,  you will inherit all my books. Remember this is not a valuable reason to kill me now!

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I wish you enough unicorns,  fairy dust and empathy to keep you real,  enough rainbows to keep you wishing but mostly enough magic to keep you sparkle.

The flawed Momma xxx

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

Posted in #OriginalCast, ... a bit of that, Memories, Picket fence of many colours, Thoughts, Yesterday Again

Shut your eyes and see.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures, 

Every year,  I do my best to approach December as a passage of time, just another month. Some years I do better than others.

The anniversary of my father’s death is on the 14th, and my Oupa Mike on the 12th… Just before Christmas is Oupa Mike’s birthday.

I remember the eleven year old me running into the safety of Oupa Mike’s arms the night my father died.

I remember a 14 year old Kev holding me the morning Oupa Mike died. The unsure reassurance we offered each other.

December holds memories I don’t want to remember, but just can’t forget.

I have found Christmas more difficult since the kids moved out. At least when the kids were home,  I had a reason to go through the motions. They all have their own lives.  Own friends.  New traditions and memories to make. I never want to guilt them into visiting.

It leaves me yearning for a yesterday  when I would decorate the table, put gifts under the tree and we would pretend whatever I burnt,  undercooked or completely stuffed up was the best thing ever.  🙂 I usually would redeem myself with pudding at least!

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I know if we stay home it will be like any given Sunday.  I want to feel something, go somewhere, make my heart dance…. but going out is double the price for Christmas, and having the kids all together is near impossible. Besides,  wherever you go,  you take yourself with you.  🙂 

How do YOU hold a moonbeam in your hand and have yourself a merry little Christmas?

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Posted from the galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

Posted in #OriginalCast, ... a bit of that, Memories, Yesterday Again

He traveled very far, over land and sea…

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I wanted this child so very much. I prayed him down from heaven, including asking God that please,  I do not want a boy with red hair! Have mercy. I never found out the gender,  but I was having a boy. My boy.

I wanted to give him the world but my ruby slippers was dusty and instead life dished us a bone crushing of a white picket fence.

My Kev was there for every happy and every sad…. Every sunshine and every rain,  every peanut butter sandwich and every one with cheese.  I cringe with heartache when he casually shares what he remembers. I wish he didn’t.

Not long ago I was once again apologising for something I felt I could have done better in his life.  He looked at me with empathy (which he reserves for few, mind you) and said :

“Nancy,  thank you for leaving my father. If it wasn’t for your bravery I would never be where I am today. Those experiences made me who I am now. I am grateful. Thank you. You did good. “

Besides that I still don’t know why the kid calls me Nancy… I cried. What do you say to that? Sure? Anytime!? Twice on Sunday?

None of my biological or adopted by heart kids are wall flowers. They are all opinionated.  Loud in happiness and sorrow. Very me,  but don’t tell them.  They all want to be their own people. #dammit

Be Kev’s principles right or wrong… or at very least extremely questionable,  you can forget about him changing his mind.  Wonder where he got the stubborn streak from?

Kev did not mention his intention,  nor design of this tattoo with me. I stumbled across it on Instagram in the middle of the night and looked at it for a long time,  a lonely tear falling down my cheek.

The bear paw (an easy nod amongst to the Gay community) Kev got in remembrance of his Daddy Brian (the second in my long list of husbands – which sounds less exciting than it is, but the father my children deserve), who came into Kev’s life when he was four years old. You do not need DNA to be a Dad.

The butterfly inside the bear paw is for me.  I have a huge butterfly on my right arm representing my kids which is why Kev decided upon the butterfly. Skin colour,  no ink. Thank you Kev. It means so much to me.

Kev did laugh and say he was thankful we were at least both born in 1973!

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Love is patient,  love is kind and love never questions another man’s ink.

I love you my boy.

I wish you enough,
Wenchy