Shut your eyes and see.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures, 

Every year,  I do my best to approach December as a passage of time, just another month. Some years I do better than others.

The anniversary of my father’s death is on the 14th, and my Oupa Mike on the 12th… Just before Christmas is Oupa Mike’s birthday.

I remember the eleven year old me running into the safety of Oupa Mike’s arms the night my father died.

I remember a 14 year old Kev holding me the morning Oupa Mike died. The unsure reassurance we offered each other.

December holds memories I don’t want to remember, but just can’t forget.

I have found Christmas more difficult since the kids moved out. At least when the kids were home,  I had a reason to go through the motions. They all have their own lives.  Own friends.  New traditions and memories to make. I never want to guilt them into visiting.

It leaves me yearning for a yesterday  when I would decorate the table, put gifts under the tree and we would pretend whatever I burnt,  undercooked or completely stuffed up was the best thing ever.  🙂 I usually would redeem myself with pudding at least!

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I know if we stay home it will be like any given Sunday.  I want to feel something, go somewhere, make my heart dance…. but going out is double the price for Christmas, and having the kids all together is near impossible. Besides,  wherever you go,  you take yourself with you.  🙂 

How do YOU hold a moonbeam in your hand and have yourself a merry little Christmas?

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Posted from the galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

He traveled very far, over land and sea…

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I wanted this child so very much. I prayed him down from heaven, including asking God that please,  I do not want a boy with red hair! Have mercy. I never found out the gender,  but I was having a boy. My boy.

I wanted to give him the world but my ruby slippers were dusty and instead, life dished us a bone-crushing of a white picket fence.

My Kev was there for every happy and very sad… Every sunshine and every rain,  every peanut butter sandwich and everyone with cheese.  I cringe with heartache when he casually shares what he remembers. I wish he didn’t.

Not long ago I was once again apologising for something I felt I could have done better in his life.  He looked at me with empathy (which he reserves for few, mind you) and said :

“Nancy,  thank you for leaving my father. If it wasn’t for your bravery I would never be where I am today. Those experiences made me who I am now. I am grateful. Thank you. You did good. “

Besides that, I still don’t know why the kid calls me Nancy… I cried. What do you say to that? Sure? Anytime!? Twice on Sunday?

None of my biological or adopted by heart kids are wallflowers. They are all opinionated.  Loud in happiness and sorrow. Very me,  but don’t tell them.  They all want to be their own people. #dammit

Be Kev’s principles right or wrong… or at very least extremely questionable,  you can forget about him changing his mind.  Wonder where he got the stubborn streak from?

Kev did not mention his intention,  nor the design of this tattoo with me. I stumbled across it on Instagram in the middle of the night and looked at it for a long time,  a lonely tear falling down my cheek.

The bear paw (an easy nod amongst to the Gay community) Kev got in remembrance of his Daddy Brian (the second in my long list of husbands – which sounds less exciting than it is, but the father my children deserve), who came into Kev’s life when he was four years old. You do not need DNA to be a Dad.

The butterfly inside the bear paw is for me.  I have a huge butterfly on my right arm representing my kids which is why Kev decided upon the butterfly. Skin colour,  no ink. Thank you, Kev. It means so much to me.

Kev did laugh and say he was thankful we were at least both born in 1973!

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Love is patient,  love is kind and love never questions another man’s ink.

I love you, my boy.

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

In conversation with Liam James

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I’ve slowly been building up a series of interviews I have done with the kids in my life. Kinda get their perception of me…. So far I’ve published Kyle and Kyla ‘s answers to my many questions. Go check them out.

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Today’s is a little different. I found a post where I had interviewed my son Liam James when he was 12, and also now the answers he gave me at 19. I think you are going to laugh at this one. On the 12-year-old interview… I especially enjoyed his response to question 10 and number 18 is a comedian in the making! Don’t even mention his reply to question 21!!

LIAM JAMES (12)

Liam as a 12 year old

1. What is something mom always says to you? You can do better.
2. What makes mom happy? When she is with her kids, knowing she has enough money so the kids will have food on the table.
3. What makes mom sad? When we disappoint her, when she doesn’t get her way, when we talk to her ugly.
4. How does your mom make you laugh? She says those fanTy words… and these interviews!
5. What did your mom like to do as a child? She liked to read books, ride her bicycle and spend time with her uncle Chris.
6. How old is your mom? 35
7. How tall is your mom? Like 5.1 cm?? I don’t know. Whatever the right height thingie is.
8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV? Grey’s Anatomy. Idols.
9. What does your mom do when you’re not around? She spends time with @SirNoid and tries to have fun.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Acting. She is such a drama queen.

Liam James

11. What is your mom really good at? She is really really good at singing, acting and cooking.
12. What is your mom not very good at? She is not very good at maths and getting to places on time and that’s about it.
13. What does your mom do for her job? Does accounting and manages people’s monies.
14. What is your mom’s favorite food? Souskluitjies.
15. What makes you proud of your mom? She has been there for me and is always looking after me.
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? I think Donald Duck.
17. What do you and your mom do together? We shop.
18. How are you and your mom the same? We take medicine, we both very emotional and we both not very good in the head.
19. How are you and your mom different? I think we are different because I’m a dude and she is a dudette and I don’t care about my weight and she does…. And I love to eat allot and allot.
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because she goes out of her way to do things for me, except for the one time when she went to Gold Reef City without me. I know you love me because you care for me and always try to make things better.
21. What does your mom like most about your dad (the x-person)?This may take a while… give me a few hours or some days… Sorry I can’t think of anything.
22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go? Cape Town (without us). Is this interview over?


My Lee has a truly beautiful, sensitive and giving heart who loves to go to the gym and eat cheese. Cheese is a big deal in his life. He always tells me he eats Strawberry Pops when he misses me (May I just mention, I have not had any since I started banting a year ago).  It is only Liam James and Ouma Chrissie that I know always puts on body lotion whenever they come in contact with water. He is big on hydration and installed a water drinking challenge app on my phone to make sure I drink enough water.

He understands me very well (my weaknesses and strengths) and while he can come across abrupt at times he is actually a very thoughtful person. He likes to visit with friends but like me, also needs solitude. He prefers living “in the countrybecause he says “not even the birds sound sincere in the city”. Ha ha ha! I loved that comment.

We do laugh and talk enthusiastically (meaning loudly!) when we are together. Lee adapts to a situation with ease. He is able to walk up, introduce himself and off you go. He may hook up with the cleaner and the CEO in one evening. No problem. He speaks to anyone and treats people equally. He does not judge. He has a very low threshold for people who they think are better than another because of their financial status. The boy also did not come with tact. His words are out before his brain has any chance of filtering that information... remind you of anyone?

He is the one who will take off his shoes and give it to another, with no second thought. I will never forget that he asked for a Bar One as a Christmas gift one year, … and another time he just wanted packets of jelly for his birthday. (We are not alike in this department.) Lee is a dreamer. Lovable, never boring and quick-witted. He is also as naughty as hell can handle, and creates mayhem with ease!

Liam James is really easy on the eye, and has a certain charm about him… he calls me MOTHER btw. Nutter. Who does that? 🙂

My blue-eyed wonder whom I love very, very, very much….. My one and only shot at any of my kids having I LOVE MOM tattooed on them! 🙂  Love you my darling boy. Wishing all your big dreams come true, that your life works out the way you would like and not in the corner you have been pushed. Remember, push back.  (Things Maureen says… inside joke…)

LIAM JAMES (19)

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1. Is there something I say to you often? I love you

2. What makes me happy? Purple giraffes and seeing your kids in one place.

3. What makes me sad? Feeling helpless and when you cannot help your kids.

4. How do I make you laugh? You just be yourself around me.

5. What do you think I was like at your age? Fun, exciting – not a trouble maker.

6. How old am I? 14

7. How tall am I? 5ft 5

8. What is my favourite thing to do? Besides the obvious spending time with your family… Reading.

9. What do you think I do when you are not here? I think you work.

10. If I was famous, what would I be famous for? Social Media Empire.

11. What am I really good at? You are good at making people feel loved.

12.  What is I very bad at? Hmm very tough question aha making pancakes!

13. What do I do at work? Make other people famous.

14. What is my favourite food? I think salmon and eggs and cream cheese.

15. What makes you proud of me? You will to survive and adapt in any situation.

16. If I was a character on TV or Movies , who would I  be? Judy Garland.

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17. What do you and I do together that you enjoy? Talking I think.

18. In which way are you and I the same? We have sympathy for poor people.

19. What do you and I disagree about? Lol everything!

20. How do you know that I love you? You keep me out of jail.

21. What do I like about @SirNoid? I actually don’t know … he is really awesome and makes you happy.

22. Where do I love to go? Cape Town and Drakensberg.

23. Is there a song that reminds you of me? Jolene –  Dolly Parton

24. Where is my favourite place to go on holiday?  Uvongo, use to be don’t know if it still is. 

25. If you introduce me to your friends,  what do you call me?  This is my mom Wenchy or Aunty Stel.

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I wish you enough,

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In conversation with Kyla Jean

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

The second in my series of interviews with my kids.

I always knew I would have many children. You know, I collect stuff. 🙂 Yes, it is meant as light hearted as it sounds.

It never occurred to my younger self that I did not have to conceive, nor give birth, to love without condition and support without being asked. Some connections just are… and I seriously have enough stretch marks already.
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I see my heart stumble and fall, finding it’s own place in the world. I worry, I guide, I do not want to interfere…. I smile when Ky is happy and I cry when sadness crosses her path. The living water flows between us.

Kyla Jean is 22 years old and to be honest, age is irrelevant to the soul she carries. Ky is exceptionally strong in her spirit. Stubborn. Moody. Principled. You will not break her, and if you did try, @SirNoid and I will be forced to step in and break you.

She is loving, generous, kind and loyal. Streetwise and naive at the same time. She sends @SirNoid and I long voice notes, pictures and random thoughts. I know I’m alive in her.

Our Kyla has great compassion for people and animals and is one of the most passionate Liverpool FC supporters I know. She introduced me to the colour grey which is not beige at all, I assure you.

I don’t think people realise how spiritual our Kyla truly is. Her religion is kindness and what she can do that is good in the world. A world that has not been a very kind host to her.

She gives of her time, she is smart, funny and much like Liam James, she says she won’t, but she always gives people another chance.

She is my Princess, who woke on a bed with many layers and a hidden ‘pea’. Together we will destroy every ‘pea’, until there is only Egyptian cotton left.

Blood may genetically link people, but a love you choose for yourself, is forever.

Mommy loves you Ky.

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1. Is there something I say to you often?
You miss and love me lots.

2. What makes me happy?
My peanut butter cookies.
All things purple.
Having us kids around.
Love.
Your love life.
Going to Drakensburg.
Laughter.
Long chats with me.
HUGS!
Yummy cocktails.
Theatre.
Other people’s happiness.

3. What makes me sad?
Not having us kids around often enough.
Being in pain.
Crap days.
Rude children.
Thinking about the people you miss dearly.
The crappy things from your past that occasionally pop up in your mind.
Others pain and sadness.
Racism.

4. How do I make you laugh?
Laughing is just our thing mom, we just happen to laugh at and with each other about almost anything. I think we’ve learnt it’s cheap and easy exercise for the body and mind.

5. What do you think I was like at your age?
FUCKING STRONG!

6. How old am I?
14.

7. How tall am I?
Tall enough.
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8. What is my favourite thing to do?
Be you, duh.

9. What do you think I do when you are not here?
You miss me like crazy, sometimes cry. And you live your life.

10. If I was famous, what would I be famous for?
Mom, you’re like a diva celebrity to me.

11. What am I really good at?
Being the most amazingly authentic, crazy self. You’re everything opposite of mediocre.

12. What am I very bad at?
Sometimes you suck at living in the moment.

13. What do I do at work?
You be fabulous.

14. What is my favourite food?
Lamb chops?

15. What makes you proud of me?
Your strength, authenticity, your huge fucking heart, your ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude, being my mom 💜.

16. If I was a character on TV or Movies , who would I be?
Dorothy Gale

17. What do you and I do together that you enjoy?
We talk about everything, we laugh, we love, we just vibe together.

18. In which way are you and I the same?
We love unconditionally and occasionally live in the past.

19. What do you and I disagree about?
A particular man.
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20. How do you know that I love you?
I add value to your life and vice versa, therefore I know that we have both made that decision to love each other for the qualities we both bring to our relationship.

21. What do I like about @SirNoid?
His unconditional love and support.
The fact that he challenges you.

22. Where do I love to go?
The theatre.

23. Is there a song that reminds you of me?
Black Velvet.

24. Where is my favourite place to go on holiday?
Drakensburg.

25. If you introduce me to your friends, what do you call me?
My mommy.

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions Ky. I look forward to doing it again in the future and see how your perspective on me changes.

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

In conversation with our Kyle.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

In the years past, I use to write in depth about my children but as they got older, I’ve tried to be more mindful of their own sense of privacy. Also, my family structure became more complex. I still write about my many, many children, but more topical than as individuals.

With inspiration from other Bloggers, I decided to do an interview with the kids in my life.

My kids are older than the Mommy Bloggers kiddies I interact with, so I adjusted the questions a bit.

Posted the questions to the kids individually via WhatsApp. I am publishing their replies as they wrote them. 

In no particular order, I’m randomly starting with Kyle.  🙂 We call him “Superman” because of his physical likeness to the character.
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Kyle is 22 years old and I love him sincerely from the very depth of my soul, while being born from my heart.

He is a genius when it comes to art and is generally extremely creativity. He loves body building, working out and food!

Kyle became an instant, loving and involved Dad to Abigail’s when he married her mommy Emma earlier this year.
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So, here are my questions and dear Kyle’s replies.

1. Is there something I say to you often? 
I love you.

2. What makes me happy?
Your children.

3. What makes me sad?
People close to you suffering, or struggling emotionly.

4. How do I make you laugh?
I laugh when you tell me interesting stories of people you’ve met or silly things you have done.

5. What do you think I was like at your age?
Hard working, stressed but happy, maybe a bit emotionally confused about where you were at that time of your life and where you wanted to be, but you lived in the moment.

6. How old am I?
42

7. How tall am I?
5.4
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8. What is my favourite thing to do?
Blog.

9. What do you think I do when you are not here?
Cry cause you miss me 😋.

10. If I was famous, what would I be famous for?
Taking photos.

11. What am I really good at?
Writing.

12.  What am I very bad at?
Drawing.
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Clearly Kyle drew the above and not me. I’m hopeless in that regard!

13. What do I do at work?
Blog.

14. What is my favourite food?
I dunno.

15. What makes you proud of me?
Your ability to love.

16. If I was a character/actress on TV or Movies , who would I  be?
Judy Garland

17. What do you and I do together that you enjoy?
Seeing each other.
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18. In which way are you and I the same?
We both love Kev.

19. What do you and I disagree about?
Nothing.

20. How do you know that I love you?
You tell me all the time.

21. What do I like about @SirNoid?
He’s cuddly.

22. Where do I love to go?
Isabella’s.

23. Is there a song that reminds you of me? 
Not that I can think of.

24. Where is my favourite place to go on holiday? 
Drakensberg.

25. If you introduce me to your friends,  what do you call me? 
Mom.

Thank you babe for indulging me and answering my questions. I know when I read them over the years to come, they will be like gold glitter to me. Sentimental silly girl I am.

Obviously, some answers are subjective but once I’ve published all the kids replies, I’ll answer a few of the less obvious ones. 🙂

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

The day I said YES to myself!

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Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

It was the scariest and bravest thing I ever did…. I left.

I was 24 years old with 2 small boys and thought to myself,  “I don’t care if we are alone forever, but we won’t be here…. and I’ll never be afraid of Friday again.”

Happy Friday darlings!

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

She is 16, going on 17….

Somewhere in my youth,  or childhood… I must have done something good.
– The Sound Of Music 💙

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To my darling little chicken,

There is much I can write about your unique talents, your quick sense of humour and how you changed our world.

Instead,  I will write that without you I’d be poorer in spirit,  I would be lonely in being misunderstood and I would own more clothing.

You know you said you want no embarrassing stories? 

Well,  here is one for you.  I’m your Mom and there ain’t nothing you can do about it missy!!

This song was played at your blessing :

“Forever Young” –  Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every one
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

I wish you the best parts of me,
Momma

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

Rocking the 3am #Wenchytude

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Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

The past week I’ve averaged three hours sleep a night.  It’s been exhausting but the days and evenings exciting. I don’t know how I made it through each day but I did, smiling for most of it.

My son Liam James came to visit for the first time in months. I enjoyed spending more than 5 minutes with him.  I felt sad that he had to leave.

Our geyser gave in the week before,  this week our downstairs flooded with a burst pipe in the wall behind a the bath.  Cold showers are underrated but then it is summer here and hot. @SirNoid and I each have our own bathroom and mine is affected, making me feel like I am camping.  lol 😁 Yes that is Diva behaviour…  #justsaying

I went to see a play, a premier of a movie,  attended a number of greatly successful business meetings,  did numerous costing exercises,  I attend two media briefings with multitude of celebrities,  I received a wonderful stat report unexpectedly that just made my day, did a corporate interview,  knitted for @67Blankets, worked on numerous social media accounts, visited The Saxon twice in one week, visited my mom and Tayla-Jade (my niece who had a heart attack at 17 very recently) for a short while, attended  a wedding with my daughter Victoria,  wrote for publication, played #ClashOfClans,  #HayDay and #CandyCrush when I couldn’t sleep,  wore actual business attire more than usual,  updated my purple hair,  went to the optometrist,  did some banking,  took a selfie with Mr. Mandela’s statue in broad daylight in Sandton Square… and still have 1 000 unread emails in my inbox and a mountain of admin that awaits.  Yikes!

I love “Suits”, but I cannot stand Lewis.  No amount of pity thrown his way,  ever makes me feel sorry for him.

My friend Melany introduced me to a special coffee many, many years ago, Enrista , the weak one. I love it. I decided to give it up after looking at the carb content. It has been one week. I miss my coffee,  my brand – but my weight loss has moved in the right direction. I MISS MY COFFEE.

My husband has been long suffering this week. (Trying to make it sound dramatic) He attended two events with me which is most unusual but made me happy.  On Monday evening we were at a cocktail function in Sandton. 20th floor.  It was spectacular! First the sunset and then the lights. Wow #Jozi!

By Friday evening…  I could not walk.  Ankolysing Spondylitis and Fibromyalgia kicked in.  My husband had to park my car.

I WANTED to spend the afternoon with my husband,  instead after I came back from The Norwood Niche Market and I promptly fell asleep.  He woke me up at 19h00 wanting me to still sleep tonight.

Included in the week was showing the next generation how to make a duck face…  Don’t say I don’t give back.  #Wenchytude

What are you looking to this coming week?

I wish you enough.
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Very random thoughts after midnight.

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Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

×  I saw my son Kev recently. We sang together. One of the highlights of my year.  My son playing Tim Mcgraw.  🙂

x Claiming to be slightly coloured has great advantages.  SirNoid and my “step kids” look like lobsters. Victoria and I are just dandy. White people problems.

x  Have a great many ideas for 2015. Personally,  projects,  privately,  publicly,  professionally,  purpose,  passion, proactive,  pretty,  participate,  partnership,  prevent,  play,  ponder.. . PLAN!!!!!

x The thought of Christmas in a week doesn’t thrill me.  We can’t afford it.  We can’t meet expectations of lavish gifts and great fanfair. No 13th cheque. No bonus. Thankfully any travel was paid months ago. Wish I could fulfill all the ideas in my head. Not this year Josephine!

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x All Victoria wants for Christmas, is her brothers all together. I want that too. Seems so simple in theory.

x  My year end quiz will be published later this month. That is a must read. You will be able to read all previous years year end posts too if you really want.

I wish you enough.

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Wenchy