Bacon.  The story of a pig. 

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

It started when the x person and I bought a house just after my 18th birthday. I realised I could have a party!

Hosting a party carried on into my second marriage, where it became more church and family focussed. Gatherings,  afternoon teas and surprise parties.  I remember my (step)  Dad’s dad,  Oupa Bert saying I was the most gracious hostess ever and what a treat it was to visit.

My childrens birthday parties were well attended,  every detail perfectly planned celebrations. As soon as a party was finished,  the birthday boy or girl would start planning their next birthday party. It was something I excelled at. I loved it.

Then the sickness came.  May 2011.

Since our move from estate living, where the river ran through it, to urban living in an area for the newly weds and the nearly deads, @SirNoid and I had totally stopped entertaining at home.

Our previous residence saw me effortlessly inviting fifty of our closest friends for a catered chef cooked meal to perfectly cooked steaks by the resident chef, @SirNoid.

Any reason I could ever come up with would warrant a dinner party.  My Mammie said to me she has no idea from whom I got this “let’s entertain!” flair from, but I loved it. My Mammie is a very private person and doesn’t need people the way I do.

The only thing I miss about having a big house with a garden to groom and a pool to keep blue is the space to entertain.

Yet….. Do I want a big house again? I don’t think so. The rain would have turned the garden into a jungle and the pool into a swamp. I did not enjoy having to colour chart those things.

I love that we can pretty much “lock up and go”. I have no security fears where we live. We have enough space not to share a bathroom, and @SirNoid still has a “man cave” to smoke in.

Now our entertainment is meeting our friends at restaurants (without play areas). Watching a football match in a pub and drinks before a show. Movies and arranged events.

The circle of life. The difference between raising a family and being a couple in the urban jungle?

Oh yes. I need to buy bacon.

I wish you enough,

Wenchy 🦒

@SirNoid ♡ @NocturnalWenchy 


Who is older?

@SirNoid is older as girls have started calling him “Oom“.  I’m #14forever. You do the math. ♡

How long have you been together? 
Since 12th of January 2008.

Who is the most sensitive? 
I am hyper sensitive and hurt emotionally and physically very easily. I laugh as loudly as I cry.

@SirNoid cries at Disney movies and adverts. I’m not sure if that means he is sensitive or appreciate the performing arts.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? 
Wherever @SirNoid gets invited to join me at a #foodie event, we dining out as a couple! ♡ (Can you feel the lack of budget tonight…? )

@SirNoid has become a #foodie in his own right, especially craft beer. Proud of him

Who has the quick temper? 
Coming from an Italian/ Portuguese background I have a red, hot temper. There is a reason I decided never to own a gun. I would take you out. I would not feel bad.  You clearly needed to go. I learned that lesson during my first marriage.

@SirNoid may have been born in Welkom but his temper matches mine.

Who is more social? 
I’m exceptionally more social the older I get… I care less and less how others feel about me,  which is scary and I started off on a rather low scale.

@SirNoid…  I think depends on the company.

Who is the most stubborn? 
I’m actually not sure. Imagine we had a child!

Who wakes up earlier? 
We both wake up when @SirNoid ‘s alarm goes off.

Do you get flowers often? 
No

Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? 
Me.  @SirNoid is never wrong.

Who has the craziest ex’s? 
There has been some hectic times but thankfully normality has settled.

Who wears the pants in your relationship? 
@SirNoid 

Who cries more? 
Me.  I am a dramatic art. Dammit.

Who said “I love you” first? 
@SirNoid

Who is the better cook? 
@SirNoid

Who is more messy? 
I am.

Who’s the best driver? 
Me  when @SirNoid is not in the car. (ha ha😵!)

Who makes the Coffee / Tea? 
I make coffee ☕  in the morning and at night. Something has to be an apology for my crappy cooking right?

BTW, what coffee do YOU buy? 

Happy Anniversary to my Parents.

​I am thinking of two beautiful humans, who are incredibly important to me. Two people who one day took me into their home and gigantic hearts.

Regardless of the fact that their DNA does not run through my veins, or that I do not have any of their eyes, or shared childhood memories, I became their dogter, I am one of their own.

When I needed a bed, clothes, food, career advice, a shoulder to cry on, a giggle or uncontrollable laughter, a push in the right direction, knowledge or just that look of I love you dearly dogter, they have done and still do their best to be incredible parents.

Mom & Dad, even when I am silent or not around, you are always in my heart, always on mind, always with me in some way.

They say a day without gratitude is a day wasted, so I would like two of you to know that I am grateful for you, always.

Thank you for being the incredible mom and dad that you are.

Thank you for being my peoples, for being in my heart and for having souls that vibe with my soul.

I miss the two of you, dearly and I am sorry that I am not around often.

I love the two you unconditionally, forever and always.

http://www.twitter.com/kylajeanv

Kyla

… He believes in me, I don’t know what he sees in me …

… trespassing on a farm outside Clarens in August 2008. We parked our day old 4×4 on the highest, smallest ledge on a koppie, after playing in the stream.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

From the beginning he was all in. While I analysed the unexpected love, devotion and absolute certainty he possessed about our future (not to mention the chunks of sexy that was coming my way), he was mixing our CD’S and DVD’s which at the time closed my throat with anxiety.

I came into the relationship with a healthy dose of fear, a mountain of debt, a geyser that kept flooding the basement and many children.

By the time he unpacked a reasonable amount of books, I felt more at ease with whatever amount of baggage he came with.

Continue reading “… He believes in me, I don’t know what he sees in me …”

Check your mate

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

Random thoughts:

* My anxiety is playing up at the moment and I am not loving it. My default emotion is anxiety so it does not require an event to plague me. It is not fanTy. Forgive me if I am not as chatty as usual. Although … I’ve become really good at hiding these issues.

* I love my husband, @SirNoid. He won a big ass TV and put it in our room for me toimage watch DVD’s. Not that I watch DVD’s all day long but it made me feel special that he did that. I do not want it hooked up to our DSTV! Perfect just like that.

Oh yes, dear @SirNoid gives magnificent massages. Not sure if I could return the favour in an equally fabulous manner with my lovely illness inflamed hands, but I will try.

* Before you pick up your phone to call me, think… Is this textable? I do not answer the phone (deep psychological reasons which surfaced after my Oupa Mike died. No therapy did not help). So, unless I gave birth to you, or I let you sleep in my bed, don’t phone me. I am not going to answer. Text or email. Flowers (yellow roses really do the trick) is lovely, and you are welcome to WhatsApp me. On the odd occasion that I may call YOU, know that you are incredibly special!

* I need to colour my hair at least every 7 to 10 days for the optimum #purplehairdontcare look. Been just over 18 months of having totally purple hair and I am loving it ! Even my @SirNoid loves it ….and he was very sceptical in the beginning. 💜

* After five or so years, it appears our furniture needs replacing… as does our linen. Electrical appliances seem fine but our bedroom, bathrooms, lounges etc need some attention / updating / love. How long does these things last in your house?

* @SirNoid and I do not share a bathroom. Very progressive thinking I must say. My husband says I’m odd to not share a bathroom, but why not, if you have another bathroom that isn’t being used? Would you like your own bathroom?

* ♡ I am posting my birthday #wishlist tonight, as requested. I love that I still get asked to do this. 😄 My friends are so proper.


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I’m posting this as a request from my friend Janice who tagged me on Facebook.

Four names I go by:
1. Momma / Mother/ Mom
2. Nancy / Nancy Pants
3. Aunty Stel
4. Wenchy / #MammaWenchy

If in any doubt, Wenchy is the name to go with (no surname – think Madonna, Cher – they don’t need surnames and neither does Wenchy).

Only my Mammie and Bank Manager calls me by my proper name. When my name is mess up. it annoys me LOTS. It is Christel-Michel or Wenchy. I dislike being called Chris, although I guess that would be the natural way to go for people who want to be friendly but don’t know me well. Yes, I may have some issues.

(My close family and perhaps those who would give me a kidney …call me Stel. I’m old fashioned that way, so respectfully, kids get to call me Aunty Stel.)

Four places I’ve lived:
1. In my head
2. In your computer
3. Potchefstroom
4. Johannesburg

Favoured things I love to watch on TV:
1. Game Of Thrones
2. The Blacklist
3. Chicago Med / Greys Anatomy
4. Blue Bloods

Four favourite places I have visited:
1. Victoria Falls (Zimbabwe)
2. Uvongo Lagoon where the water is forever deep (South Africa)
3. Pebble Beach at Storms River Mouth in the Tsitsikamma National Park (South Africa)
4. Grahamstown (The National Arts Festival, South Africa)
…..and as a bonus:
5. McGregor (South Africa)
6. Top of Sani Pass (Lesotho)
7. Drakensberg (South Africa)

Four things I love to eat:
1. Crème Brulee
2. Baked Cheese Cake
3. Pork Belly
4. Rare Fillet Steak

Favourite drinks I love to have:
1. Water
2. Strawberry Daiquiri
3. Cappuccino
4. Salted caramel milkshake

Four books I adore:
1. Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom
2. Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
3. Seks, Drugs en Boeremusiek deur Koos Kombuis
4. The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

Four people I TRUST will respond ( … and not be beige!) You can either respond on your blog, or in my blog comment section, or Facebook , but please tag me :

1. Birthsay Girl Jenny
2. Our Ky
3. My #bestie Gail
4. Tayla-Jade
….and bonus, dear 5. Shell (You can also join her group (all about beads) while you at it!)

Anyone else who wants to play is very welcome! 😇

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

For the good times

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,
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This reminded me of beautiful you,  Victoria . My youngest biological child.

The way you use to look at me with wonder when you were little.

I told you if they could one man on the moon, why couldn’t they put all of them there?  🙂 

You seemed to think I knew answers.

I love you chicken little.

I’m sorry for the bad times,  let’s raise a cup of tea to the good times. #theoriginalcast

I wish for you never to be afraid of depth.

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Momma xxx

Posted from the galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

“What makes the desert beautiful,” said the little prince, “is that somewhere it hides a well…”

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I have readers, loyal and long suffering readers that have been around 20 years next year (party?), and when I don’t blog, they text, email or whatsapp me messages to ask “Everything ok?” “You ok?”You gotta love it, right?

Thank you for knowing me well enough not to phone me. No idea however why I have not received flowers, cupcakes or chocolate…. although to be perfectly honest, if you can deliver low carb meals, snacks or general groceries to my house I will be forever grateful. #Smile

Everything is OK. I am permanently completely exhausted. Not tired, not need a break, not take the day off… It’s a much more intense level of EXHAUSTION. Although in all honesty, I do believe @SirNoid and I are in need of a serious holiday.

It is on an I can’t deal, I can’t think, I can’t remember,  I can’t reason, I’m too sore, it’s too much, please help me, without me asking, kinda tired.

Naturally having very close to no iron in my body, does contribute towards my levels of exhaustion.

It is VERY unpleasant and I’ve really fallen very much out of love with having no energy. None. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Medically. Every level I may have skipped, please include it, and tick that box.

December and some of January, I was in severe pain, not coming downstairs, just staying in bed, “wish me luck as you wave me goodbye” kinda pain. Christmas, New Year is all a blur really.

I felt very aware of how scary or helpless this must have been for @SirNoid, but also for our 15 year old son Douglas. I think it was one of the first times Doug saw me mid pain attack, crying, asking @SirNoid to help with small things. Pour water, help me down the stairs, covering my legs like I’m 104 years old because the heat and the little pressure helps the pain,  while other times having any fabric touch my skin0 is hell. It is very confusing for all of us!

@SirNoid like many, expresses his helplessness and wanting to make it better, in getting angry, … but I’ve come to realise I don’t know who to direct my anger at. This acceptance bit is a bitch. I’m nowhere near accepting any of this.

I feel excessively exposed and vulnerable… Chronic illness has stolen from me, my husband and children which leaves me with more pent up anger.  Yes, it has been suggested a bit of counselling may go a long way.

I saw a new Rheumatologist &  Specialist Physician this past week.  For someone with “ailments”, I actually do not enjoy going to the doctor.

She was very proper and I liked that she saw ME, and spoke to ME as a person and not a number. The consultation was all consuming and as she predicted by the time I was done,  I felt a small tractor may have driven over me.

She has requested previous documents from other doctors and off course, ran more tests. She wants to compile a time line and see which of the illnesses is doing what, and seriously attack the anemia and find out why my body doesn’t hold onto iron.

The Fibromyalgia and Ankolysing Spondylitis can put on quite a show I tell you!

Looking at my anemic self, she took me off certain meds and gave me more pain meds to take until we have a plan of action.

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them. –  Le Petit Prince (1943)

I don’t know the answers, only to try every day . Sometimes successfully and others not.

I wonder if anyone truly knows how much goes into pretending I’m feeling well?
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I wish you enough,
Wenchy

The first time ever I saw your face.

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My darling chicken little,

I miss you tremendously this morning. A sore that runs from my heart to my hands looking for yours and ending in a tear.

♡ #SmileBeautiful.. That is what you taught me. You need to © that shit.

♡ Be kind,  you never know which chapter of their book another person is on. Especially a teenager person…. or an old and frail person like me.  (Stop laughing!)

♡  Go give a random Grade 8 a hug today.

♡ You are funny,  without trying!

♡ You are perfect,  just as you are. (OK,  I’m sorry about that small hereditary illness, but hey… I didn’t choose it either!)

♡  You are an artist in so many ways. It comes with the freedom of never having the explain yourself.  Don’t.

♡ Some people will never get you. That’s OK. You were never meant to be a “one size fits all”.

♡ When I die,  you will inherit all my books. Remember this is not a valuable reason to kill me now!

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I wish you enough unicorns,  fairy dust and empathy to keep you real,  enough rainbows to keep you wishing but mostly enough magic to keep you sparkle.

The flawed Momma xxx

Posted to WordPress from the Galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

Shut your eyes and see.

Dear friends and other interesting creatures, 

Every year,  I do my best to approach December as a passage of time, just another month. Some years I do better than others.

The anniversary of my father’s death is on the 14th, and my Oupa Mike on the 12th… Just before Christmas is Oupa Mike’s birthday.

I remember the eleven year old me running into the safety of Oupa Mike’s arms the night my father died.

I remember a 14 year old Kev holding me the morning Oupa Mike died. The unsure reassurance we offered each other.

December holds memories I don’t want to remember, but just can’t forget.

I have found Christmas more difficult since the kids moved out. At least when the kids were home,  I had a reason to go through the motions. They all have their own lives.  Own friends.  New traditions and memories to make. I never want to guilt them into visiting.

It leaves me yearning for a yesterday  when I would decorate the table, put gifts under the tree and we would pretend whatever I burnt,  undercooked or completely stuffed up was the best thing ever.  🙂 I usually would redeem myself with pudding at least!

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I know if we stay home it will be like any given Sunday.  I want to feel something, go somewhere, make my heart dance…. but going out is double the price for Christmas, and having the kids all together is near impossible. Besides,  wherever you go,  you take yourself with you.  🙂 

How do YOU hold a moonbeam in your hand and have yourself a merry little Christmas?

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

Posted from the galaxy of Samsung from the second cloud on your left.

If I should fall behind, wait for me.

Happy Anniversary to my darling husband! The man with the thighs.

@SirNoid made from huge patience, a quick temper to match my own, tremendous dedication, huge love and passion for the girl who has her head in the clouds and her feet on a yellow brick road… sprinkled with purple fairy dust. Not always practical, never conventional and needs the challenge only testosterone provides.
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I appreciate all you do for us (today I am only writing about you and I… no kids), everything you give me from your heart, the haka on a beach, to helicopter flips over Victoria Falls, ice cream in winter, and flying me up the Drakensberg as you had wanted to exchange vows there…. where we can see forever… to the daily purple glitter that completes our life together.

Thank you for believing in my dreams and doing everything you can to make them possible. I know I test your will to live some days but that is kinda what comes with loving Wenchy. 🙂 Sounds dramatic cause I’m a Diva dammit! At least life with me is never boring or predictable at. Challenging at worst.

I love your quirky self that drives me bonkers at times as you pause the TV when I’m busy watching and you fell asleep…. or have to attack on #ClashOfClans midst serious discussion…. but having to look at every rock, hill or cloud formation during road l trips may be the iceberg! Ha!

I love your shoulder dance and your 3am we up calls. I love how you tell me everything on your heart as you get ready for work. I love that you eat my very mmm….. interesting concoctions and try really hard to sleep with the fan on.

You are very funny with jokes that I think you can’t wait for an opportunity to tell. You are considerate in bringing me a purple blanket when I’m cold or make coffee when the kettle is empty. You always bring me something when you travel and you try to understand my low days while the relief on my up days is celebrated.

You work 14 hour days / nights to make sure we are okay. I appreciate the excess you put into your branch with loyalty and purpose. I do not think your company, nor those who report to you, know how much extra you do for them. When I do my rounds as the bosses wife, I am incredibly proud of you. We have come so far.

Nobody but you and I know how much we have endured and overcome. I credit you as the one never to give up. Especially not on our relationship.

Besides this you are obviously a total pain in the neck, literally. 🙂

When I’m sore and you can do nothing to fix it, the desperate look on your face speaks volumes…you ask why the medicine doesn’t work when you work so hard to provide it…and neither of us has an answer. It is perhaps then, when your true vulnerability shows which you attempt to hide so well.

I may not be your first love, but I suspect you kept the best for last.

Loves you Coach…. and thank you. Happy Anniversary!
Wenchy

PS. I remind you of this part of our ceremony:

“With this ring, I give you my promise
that from this day forward
you shall not walk alone. 
I have no greater gift to give. 
May my heart be your shelter
and my arms be your home.”