One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave... Continue Reading →
Dear friends and other interesting creatures, All I wanted was to live a life where I could be me, and be okay with that. I had no need for material possessions, money or even close friends with me on my journey. I never understood people very well anyway, and they never seemed to understand me... Continue Reading →
Dear friends and other interesting creatures, I have found it more and more difficult to align myself with the Blogging community as a whole. It has been a struggle between wanting to fit in, run with the cool kids, or my more inherent need to be recognised for who I am and my belief of... Continue Reading →
Dear friends and other interesting creatures, You were my first love as a little girl. Waiting for you to come home from the Airforce. A R5 tucked into my hand when nobody looked. The first man to buy me perfume. A comfort after my father died. A man who assured me how loved I am... Continue Reading →
Dear friends, family and other interesting creatures,
Some bonds cannot be broken. Not even in death.
It may be 17 years since Tim died, but I had a very real sense of him yesterday. I could not understand why he lingered yesterday. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. Usually I am able to pin point an emotional from him, a smile, a look in his eye – yesterday I just felt him here.
He always visits, sitting on the right hand side of the bed, regardless of venue. Before he died, we had never even been in a bedroom together before.
Seeing Tim isn’t scary or creepy. It can be both comforting and heart breaking. Sometimes I smile, other times I feel renewed grief.
I am not big on “speaking to the dead”, or “crossing over”. I’m merely relating that somehow Tim keeps contact. Often followed up the next day or two in a quote or a song, an item that was of value only to us.
Have you ever experienced anything like this?
I wish you enough,
I’ve told you before. The thing with death is, I have no new pictures of you. So I had to improvise a little.
As I have been preparing for my Grahamstown festival trip next month, I could not help but think of you. Do you remember?
You were in school uniform. Matric blazer. I was sitting on the steps of the church on the square in Grahamstown. I went to a private school so no uniform. I remember I was wearing a very stretched out purple jersey and brown leather shoes I had bought at the festival.
(Remains the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned. Haha! I would much rather buy books. I had no idea at the time how much purple was still to follow.)
The sun was setting.
You came and sat next to me. I had never seen you before. You sat, silently. I remember…
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Dear friends and other interesting creatures, Random thoughts: * My anxiety is playing up at the moment and I am not loving it. My default emotion is anxiety so it does not require an event to plague me. It is not fanTy. Forgive me if I am not as chatty as usual. Although ... I've... Continue Reading →
Dear Kev, Liam James and Victoria, I miss you tonight with a pain so intense in my chest, it makes breathing difficult. Tears burns my eyes silently. Remember when we were all we had? Burning marshmallows over a candle on the bedroom floor because I was a "cool" mom like that? I always wanted to... Continue Reading →
Dear friends and other interesting creatures, My first real, solid true love.... The very first anything I felt was MINE. He never gives up on me. He will fight for me and he will fight with me. He will care for me ... while sighing a lot. 🙂 He will drink vodka with me. He... Continue Reading →
Dear friends and other interesting creatures, Blogging use to be my journals screaming out loud. I've had loyal, consistent support (especially when I deal with REAL issues) but lately this Diva is running out of glitter. Blogging in South Africa is rapidly changing. It is all about quality content, stats, views, visits from target groups.... Continue Reading →