Dear friends and other interesting creatures,
It was an ordinary day as far as pining for your broken marriage went. I started this list on 28 November 2007… It must have been in a moment of supreme hopefulness!
In no particular order, random ideas, big and small, as they popped into my head, experiences I would like to do before I exchange this life for my Hallmark-ish heaven with field and blue skies..
Shoot a wedding. Shoot a funeral.
- Take my many, many, many children on a plane.
- Attend the Cherry festival in Ficksburgh.
Eat my first oyster in Knysna. Dance in the rain. See snow. Take my kids on a picnic. Learn how to make a fire.
- Have plastic surgery. I hate my stomach.
Wake up in the arms of a man who loves me. Own my own braai. Attend Gay Pride. Have my oven fixed. Buy a ‘proper‘ car. Own an SLR orgasmic camera. Go for “high tea” at the Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town. Go and see a Pantomine at the Johannesburg Civic Theatre.
- Write my life story.
Get paid for writing something.
- Make love next to a roaring fire. A remote location – a bit of a wooden hut and snow won’t hurt.
Visit Lesotho and drive on Sani Pass.
- Fly far far away and hear….”local time is“.
Visit the top of Table Mountain. Go to the mountains with Noid. Ride a horse. Elope! with a square “diamond” (amethyst to be specific) and live happily ever after.
- Swim in water that is forever deep.
- Visit Mozambique and eat prawns.
Go to the ballet. See Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe / Zambia.
- Sing “Fever” on a stage with an old style microphone. An evening dress won’t hurt.
Ring the bell at The Market Theatre.
- Ride a Harley.
- See Billy Conolly LIVE.
Attend a 27 dinner. Get paid for a photo I took. Have a lymph drainage massage. Own a kick ass coffee maker.
- Do a yoga class.
- Eat a hot dog in Yankee Stadium.
- Walk in Central Park.
- Visit New England in autumn.
Do a Canopy Tour.
I do not want to be kept alive artificially, if the doctors say I am brain-dead. Please donate anything of mine anyone else can use.
I want a traditional funeral with a lot of tears and some howling. That’s where tradition ends.
I want a gathering like the South African Thanksgiving I dreamt up with sunflowers and yellow roses.
Crying people must have cupcakes with champagne and orange juice. If you not sad, go home!
There must be a huge picture of me with lots of cleavage and a recording of Louis Armstrong singing ‘What a wonderful world’……or I will give you all a small haunting!
I am to be cremated naked and be placed in the Uvongo lagoon on the south coast where I choose to believe the water is forever deep.
I hope Oupa Mike catches me on the way. Although I will know lots more people down below …