He was difficult. I was inexperienced. Its 20 years later. Not much has changed. He just lives on his own now. I don’t bake cup cakes for his birthday but I get invited to drinks.

Kevin’s birth was a planned event, although I had hoped for a September baby. Spring is so ….well light and laughter, sunshine and walks in the park but so far removed from my sons’ personality that it would not have described his stubborn nature one bit.

Not on the surface anyhow.

We grew up together and we saw more darkness than light – many times over, but we could make fun of darkness on a level that will land us in hell. Definite pan flute for us.

Tonight as I lie here waiting for midnight to come I remember a year Kev baked me cup cakes at 11pm the day of my birthday, because there was no husband (and no money) and I hadn’t had any birthday cake….

The day you were born were on one the happiest of my life. I loved you immediately while you scared me terribly! ….for some reason you didn’t seem to mind me. Yay!!

Smells no more like teen spirit my boy.

I love you more than purple, glitter, technology and smoke on the water.

Happy 20th Cartman. You never walk alone. Don’t forget that…like I sometimes do…. I Love You.

The Mom x

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