To Sir, With love.

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From a cold and slightly misty Grahamstown just before 2am ….

I want to wish my husband, friend,  lover, provider, cheerleader, nurse, protector, taxi driver, perfume buyer, tea making, shoulder dancing, brilliant, sexy, funny, generous, coffee drinking, tattooed, road less travelled exploring, Herman Charles Bosman story telling, awesome dad to our kids, guard of my pain levels, hard working, DSTV controlling, perfect rare steak chef, lover of ice, Cheetah supporting, #ClashOfClans leading, South Africa loving, man with awesome thighs, shouting at the TV person,  who will never walk alone…

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Love you!
Your dear wife

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Missing you comes in waves. Tonight I’m drowning.

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My liefste Oupa Mike,

Sometimes I am consumed by overwhelming joy, just because of how you loved me. Sometimes I see Frisco coffee or Turkish Delight and am able to smile in gratitude and remembrance. Other times objects, sounds and memories is a raw, open wound.

To you I had no faults. If there were, you would make light of them as if such things could never taint me. I was beautiful, funny, talented and you always reminded me how proud you are of me. I never truly felt I deserved your praise…. but I loved bathing in your reflection of me.

Tonight the years since we lost you to death feels like decades. I want to bury my face in your chest,  cry and you would stroke my hair and kiss my forehead. I miss you intensely. I hope my life brings you some pride…. and a bit of a brag. :)

The only thing worse than my own heartache is seeing my Mammie in so much emotional pain.  I envy Mammie for she had you longer, but her ache for you leaves me breathless. I feel helpless.

I hope my impact on people when I leave this reality will be as profound.  I would have achieved much, if I touched people the way you did.

Baie lief vir Oupa….en dankie.
Stel x

I do not recognise the #ANC of my youth.

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Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

You know when a family member does something unbelievably stupendous and everyone shakes their heads in disgust?

There is usually a touch of confusion at the magnitude of destruction. One thinking soul, giving a hefty sigh, in that “Ja swaer” tone :

“Oupa would turn in his grave if he had to see this!”

That sums up how I feel about the “leaders” in the picture.

Sigh. Tata, turning in his grave. The legend who was able to unite many. All the personal sacrifices he had made for others to carry an Africa with a heartbeat I feel pulsating from my very core.

The struggle I supported, alive with men and woman who believed and fought against segregation and oppression, has been lost. I do not recognise the ANC of my youth.

Paying back the money falls incredibly short on paying us back our dignity and respect as a people, facing each other and foreigners when we are filled with disgust and confusion at the reality of our designated leaders.

Its going to take more than a village to raise this “child”!

God bless Africa.

I wish you enough…
Wenchy

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An Old Flame…

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I was 11 when he died. He was 30. But tonight as I read everyone’s messages I think to myself…  I also had a father. My memories are few…  You bought me Strawberry milkshake and biltong. I could feel you before you came into the room.  It was as if music and laughter followed you. You were the party.

They say the greatest gift you can give your children is to love their mother. Well,  I have no doubt about your love for my Mammie, nor her absolute devastation at your death.

An old flame.

Lief vir jou Pappie.
Stel.

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#14forever with much gratitude!

Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

This past week has been one of constant birthday celebrations. I must admit I love a birthday. It doesn’t even have to be mine!

I am tremendously thankful to have been blessed with wonderful family and friends who have made turning 42, an absolute privilege.

I truly did not expect gifts as I did not hint or ask for any.  Hence, I was totally surprised that my husband actually went out by his own self and bought me my favourite perfume “Angel”!  It meant so much to me that he did that. His schedule is extremely congested so this is huge. Thank you sooooo very much! I love and appreciate everything you do.

Great surprise at a catered dinner party (with chef, serving waitress,  beautiful food,  Portuguese champagne for my heritage –  the works!). Purple cupcakes.  A tea party with my Mammie, a Thai lunch, platters and cupcakes with my family in Durban, brunch, waffles, lamb knuckle pie and lemon meringue on separate occasiond in the Midlands Meander.

Belgium chocolates… Oh wow! Lots of chocolate for me to eat… (Which movie is that from?)

I had such an amazing extra long weekend with my youngest sister,  her husband and my nephews who hosted my husband and I in their beautiful home. Everything was done to make us comfortable and happy.

More than anything,  I got to know them as individuals and as a family better and I regret not looking for my baby sister sooner in my life.  This family has gone through tremendous trauma after a horrific car accident that left my very successful brother in law paralysed and in a wheelchair in his 30’s.  There is so much we can all learn from them. I’m in awe of the strength of this family unit.

I am leaving with a heavy heart. xxx

Over 500 messages on Twitter,  Facebook,  Wattsapp, BBM, SMS and the two phone calls I actually answered. (I detest speaking on the phone. Anyone who knows me would never take it personally.)

Sincerely thankful for all the love,  wishes and so many things you all did to add to celebrating my happy happy #birthday #June13th #14forever!

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

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42 you said?

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Dear Tim,

I’ve told you before.  The thing with death is,  I have no new pictures of you.  So I had to improvise a little.

As I have been preparing for my Grahamstown festival trip next month,  I could not help but think of you.  Do you remember?

You were in school uniform. Matric blazer. I was sitting on the steps of the church on the square in Grahamstown. I went to a private school so no uniform.  I remember I was wearing a very stretched out purple jersey and brown leather shoes I had bought at the festival.

(Remains the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned. Haha! I would much rather buy books. I had no idea at the time how much purple was still to follow.)

The sun was setting.

You came and sat next to me. I had never seen you before. You sat,  silently.  I remember being intrigued. You walked up,  asked if you could join me and sat down. No words. Minutes passed. I turned my face and looked at you. Eventually you turned to me and said, “It is not everyone you can have a comfortable silence with.” I smiled.

We chatted for a bit about where we were from and what we have seen at the festival. I don’t know how long we spoke for but it was suddenly dark when your school chaperone called you. My friends came to tell me it’s time to meet for supper almost at the same moment.

We did not exchange any contact details. As you got up you said that if the universe wants we will meet again. I laughed with a “good luck with that” kinda feeling. You smiled.

We had gotten up and as you walked away,  you turned and said  “Do you know what the meaning of life is?” I probably looked as silly as I felt and said “No”.

You smiled and said “42”.

I had no idea what you were on about, which I confessed when we did meet up again, as the universe allowed, years later.

It is our 42nd birthday this coming week.  Saturday. I will be 42 years old. You will forever be, 25.

Btw, I think the universe has a sense of occasion. My accommodation reservation arrived via email.  Room 42.

I will look for you, on the steps, at the church on the square.

Stop the clocks,
Wenchy

PS.  Thank’s again for the nickname.  Wenchy stuck.  :)

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If at first a flu like symptom is not for you.

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Dear friends and other interesting creatures,

I’ll be travelling a bit during June and July and thought it a great idea to have the flu injection to make sure I’m all healthy, pretending I’m wealthy and naturally wise. 

I have a headache, my throat is sore and somebody kicked my body in my sleep from the inside out. Yes,  a small annoying flu like symptom. Ugh!!!!

Is this how it works? Making it worse before making it better? My intention was skipping this entire episode dammit.

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

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