And all that’s best of dark and bright. 

My dear Tim, I was asked who you were to me this week. For the first time in 18 years, I managed to explain your accidental death and our relationship in only a few lines. I spoke with clarity, tenderness, and honesty. Thank you for always seeing me... in an ocean of people. You said it was... Continue Reading →

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Dear friends and other interesting creatures, You were my first love as a little  girl. Waiting for you to come home from the Airforce.  A R5 tucked into my hand when nobody looked. The first man to buy me perfume.  A comfort after my father died.  A man who assured me how loved I am... Continue Reading →

42 you said?

Dear friends, family and other interesting creatures,

Some bonds cannot be broken. Not even in death.

It may be 17 years since Tim died, but I had a very real sense of him yesterday. I could not understand why he lingered yesterday. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. Usually I am able to pin point an emotional from him, a smile, a look in his eye – yesterday I just felt him here.

He always visits, sitting on the right hand side of the bed, regardless of venue. Before he died, we had never even been in a bedroom together before.

Seeing Tim isn’t scary or creepy. It can be both comforting and heart breaking. Sometimes I smile, other times I feel renewed grief.

I am not big on “speaking to the dead”, or “crossing over”. I’m merely relating that somehow Tim keeps contact. Often followed up the next day or two in a quote or a song, an item that was of value only to us.

Have you ever experienced anything like this?

I wish you enough,
Wenchy

The Nocturnal Wenchy

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Dear Tim,

I’ve told you before. The thing with death is, I have no new pictures of you. So I had to improvise a little.

As I have been preparing for my Grahamstown festival trip next month, I could not help but think of you. Do you remember?

You were in school uniform. Matric blazer. I was sitting on the steps of the church on the square in Grahamstown. I went to a private school so no uniform. I remember I was wearing a very stretched out purple jersey and brown leather shoes I had bought at the festival.

(Remains the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned. Haha! I would much rather buy books. I had no idea at the time how much purple was still to follow.)

The sun was setting.

You came and sat next to me. I had never seen you before. You sat, silently. I remember…

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I winked and you were gone.

Dear Kev, Liam James and Victoria, I miss you tonight with a pain so intense in my chest, it makes breathing difficult. Tears burns my eyes silently. Remember when we were all we had? Burning marshmallows over a candle on the bedroom floor because I was a "cool" mom like that? I always wanted to... Continue Reading →

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